Hi all,
I saw this forum some time ago, but not until now, did I find the courage to share my story and take part in the discussion.
I read the article from @snow about tips for parents of bedwetters, and that triggered me to tell a different story. I was wetting my bed until I was in my late teens - and also had some later episodes. I could wet twice a night. Of course my parents got mad - and accused me for being difficult, lazy, drinking to much, too late to bed - all the standard stuff. It was periods with very heavy wetting - every night, and periods with somewhat less frequency. My bed was made up with a thick plastic/rubber sheet (quite noisy) and some absorbent pads under my sheets. I was not wearing diapers on a regular basis. I was extremely embarrassed by the wetting, and it was not something I wanted to talk about or accept. As the wetting was partly explained with me being lazy, there was different kind of punishment, hand washing my wet sheets, earlier bedtime and occasionally also spanking. But my real nightmare was the threat of being forced back in diapers.
Of course my wetting continued and one day I came home from school, a big pink packet of diapers was placed on my desk as I was about to do my homework. It was a complete nightmare - and I tried to resist, but I was outnumbered and out powered - and soon I was in bed with a thick diaper. I hated it - they were so thick (this was in the 70ies) and I was not offered much privacy around the diapers. So I continued to resist.
And I never accepted to wear them - but I fought with myself, because in diapers I slept better, it was so much better to wake up in a dry or almost dry bed compared to the soaked bed. But I never admitted that or accepted the diapers, because of the way they where introduced. And the humiliation I felt being forced to wear them.
As with most bedwetters - the problems (almost) disappeared and I was out of diapers for many years although I struggled with overactive bladder and in periods tried both medication and protection.
17 years ago I was diagnosed with IBD (ulcerous colitis). And during flares, my old nightmare reappeared. In bad periods with extreme diarrhea, I can go to the bathroom 30 times a day (it is hard to count). In such periods I was forced to stay home, close to the toilet to avoid embarrassing accidents. The fear of accidents also resulted in anxiety and stress. I was recommended to start wearing some protection, started with pads, but quite soon ended up in pull-ups. I was ashamed, humiliated and I felt like I carried a big sign saying that “I am diapered”, but to my pleasure, people didn’t care and most people didn’t notice it. It helped me continue to live my life as good as possible, and it reduced stress and anxiety. Basically what I feared and was so ashamed of, particularly with my childhood memories, helped me to a better quality of life.
Nowadays, I use diapers when I am flaring - it is always a challenge to pull them on the first day after a long period with now use, but the diapers are so good these days and so much more discrete than what I remember from my youth. Anyone who are complaining should try old fashioned rectangular thick “paper” diapers with plastic panties. Then you will notice that the industry has moved forward.
It took some time and courage to write my story, but I got inspired and by the forum, how openly everyone is sharing and how friendly atmosphere.
There is a lot of stigma around incontinence and diapers, so it is not easy to open up and find someone to talk to - so I am glad I have found this forum. Even if I have seen the advantages, I am still affected by my childhood and my fear of diapers - so I am working hard to accept that they are a valuable tool to improve quality of life and not there only to humiliate or punish me.
Feel free to contact me or comment - I think I have seen similar stories from other people growing up in that period. What was acceptable those days are not acceptable today. So more than abuse - I think the way of “treating” bedwetting was more a trend or a something “normal” in that period.
