Introductions - New Members Start Here

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Just one comment about trying OAB meds and when they didn't work flushing them. I'm told that all three that I've tried all take a month plus to work. So if your on the first bottle and there are pills to flush your quitting too soon. I would give them at least two months before delaring failure.

In addition I would report clearly any side effects. Its awful to take some kind of drug with side effects that you can barely stand when there may be another that works but is side effect free.

 

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Hello all I am a 35 year-old woman and I have been suffering from incontinence at bedtime all my life. It's made my social/dating life very hard. I've turned down four proposals as I'm too ashamed to tell my partner why we can't live together I always make excuses why I can't sleep over etc. I'm taking medication Ditropan but it's not working. I've been to a urologist and she told me only thing I can do is take meds and they don't do anything so I'm desperate to stop this so I can live a normal life and have a husband partner.I'm happy I found this community

 

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Hi,
I know this is very hard. It seems like there becomes a point with some cases in incontinence where you move away from treatment and into acceptance. You may or may not stop bedwetting. But you don't have to stop living. I know it'embarrassing but you didn't do anything wrong it's just the way your body works. It's like needing glasses that's just how some bodies work.
My suggestion is to find protection that you can adjust to and feel comfortable with. If you need tips on that all of us are experienced.
As for dating. It's embarrassing but most adults don't care. If someone falls in love with you and you happen to need a diaper or something at night they won't care. Why would they let that one thing spoil the whole person of you? You could find many people that actually will be supportive. They won't just tolerate it as a matter of inconvience but actually be a rock to help you with whatever feelings you have and make it just a regular part of life.
A lot of our shame and negative attitudes comes from what others thinks ignorant people say "bedwetting is gross" "diapers are for babies" "you are weird if you wet the bed as an adult"we take those messages and turn them into "I'm gross" "I'm a baby" "there's something wrong with me" which isn't true at all. Imagine if you someone you loved very much had this issue (notice I did not refer to it as a problem because really it's not). This person felt embarrassed and ashamed and thought of themselves about it the way you do with yourself. What would you say to them?
If you want to talk with me further feel free to send a private message

 

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Hi. Just a word of encouragement. I have been successful at developing and maintaining intimate relatjonships without my incontinence getting in the way. I have become comfortable with a lover knowing about and seeing my diapers. I keep things _very_ clean.
So I just wanted to encourage you to go out and find someone. They'll be ok with you and your whole you

Hello all I am a 35 year-old woman and I have been suffering from incontinence at bedtime all my life. It's made my social/dating life very hard. I've turned down four proposals as I'm too ashamed to tell my partner why we can't live together I always make excuses why I can't sleep over etc. I'm taking medication Ditropan but it's not working. I've been to a urologist and she told me only thing I can do is take meds and they don't do anything so I'm desperate to stop this so I can live a normal life and have a husband partner.I'm happy I found this community

 

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Good point! Incontience and diapers have never gotten in the way of my relationships either. Everyone has understood and been supportive. My girlfriend had trouble with intimacy with them but I just make sure to clean up and not wear a diaper before anything

 

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Thank you for your kind words I really do appreciate you taking the time to write to me. This is the first time that I've ever opened up to anyone rather it be online or in person other than my doctor. I'm really happy that I found a place where people are supportive and can truly understand what I'm going through. I finally broke down and bought some diapers a couple months ago it's been hard to accept that I need them but I rather wake up dry then wet. Thanks again

 

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@DesperateInAZ

"This is the first time that I've ever opened up to anyone rather it be online or in person other than my doctor."

With that statement you did make an important step forward to address your incontinence. STIGMA is a word often used to describe what we live with and attempt to combat. In this forum, we are chipping away at that 'wall of stigma' and opening up to one another. Victory is measured in smaller ways here, but ever so monumental just the same.

It's not really important that many people need to know about our incontinence concerns. It's more important that those of us here who 'get it' have an opportunity to join and share in relative privacy -- and then to speak. My guess is that we ALL have experienced a sense of relief when finding and connecting with a FEW other souls who also have those same private and embarrassing issues.

Thanks for speaking up!

Be well.

 

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Hi I am new here.
My story in 2003 I had an atv accident and damaged my spinal cord in my neck. I was paralyzed from my neck down. I have have 3 surgeries on my cervical spine. I have have 2 surgeries on my lower back (fusion). I have had a spinal cord stimulator put in my back and I have had the stimulator battery replaced once.
I have had trouble with my bladder since the accident but it has always been retention and not complete emptying of the bladder.
Now I am starting to notice that my underwear are damp in the morning and I have had a couple of wetting accidents recently during the day and not even felt anything.
I have been told by my surgeon that this is a typical problem with spinal cord injuries.
So I am here just trying to figure out what to do next.

Thank You.

 

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Well, I did not start here... I just dove right in and started posting. But here I am.

My stats? Male, 54. Started having bladder problems something around 5 years ago. Dealing with it day by day. And night by night too...

 

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Hi. I'm a 31 year old female and I'm been suffering since April 2016. Typically when I sit down I have an intense urge to urinate about every 5 to 10 minutes. I also leak urine. When I stand it is less severe, although I have had much more severe symptoms the past day or two. I burst out into tears a lot because I can't sit through a day at the office, take a quick trip in a car, or sit through a movie without having to pee really badly. It's making my life a nightmare. I have been taking meds for OAB for about six weeks now and they don't seem to be helping. I'm starting to lose hope that I will ever feel normal. Anybody know of what I could do? I'm scared. This is ruining my life.

 

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Hello my name is Marnie I'm 48 year old female who has been out in public last year twice and suddenly was unable to control my bladder resulting in me wetting my pants. Also I've wet the bed on numerous occasions ! HELP My husband is very supportive but I cannot get around the stigma of having to wear Depends

 

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Marnie, you need to make an appointment to see your doctor about this. And tell him or her everything. This is the first step and this is a must do.

 

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Marnie, I know how you feel. I just turned 45 and started having major incontinence problems earlier this year. It has been an extremely frustrating and tremulously humbling time but I've learned a ton really fast. Bottom line for me was that it was far less embarrassing to wear discrete protection than to have unprotected flooding accidents in public. Pretty sure no one has even noticed what I had on under my clothes though I'm extraordinarily nervous about that. Although I'm still anxious about it, it has actually gotten easier and less stressful with time. I also tried a lot of different products to find what worked best and was more discrete for me. Talking with my doctor and getting a full work up has also helped. Feel free to send a private message if you'd like more of my story and lessons learned.

 

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I am 24 years old and have suffered from nocturnal enuresis literally my entire life. I have tried absolutely everything and nothing works. A lot of people have shared their stories in order to offer support, but has anyone found a method that works for them. I am not looking for anything to mask or hide the problem, but solve it for good. Diapers and pills to me are not a cure. I refuse to suffer from this my entire life and even joke to my boyfriend that when we have children, we will all wet our bed and have to all share his side of the bed in the night. Does anyone have any advice because I am beyond hopeless.

 

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I am a 57 year old male. I started having bladder control problems around the same time that I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, about 13 years ago. My GP prescribed OAB meds to help with the urgency/frequency problems, and although the meds helped, it was not a cure, and I continued to have problems. Not happy with the dry mouth side effect, and failure to "cure" the problem, I eventually gave up on the meds. Then, I began having problems with chronic kidney stones, which caused me to experience worse continence problems.

During my most recent kidney stone episode, a CT scan showed I have an enlarged prostate, which may be the main cause of my urinary problems. About 7 years ago, I began having problems with bedwetting, in addition to my daytime urgency problems. I now need to wear protection both day and night. During the day, I normally use Depend underwear, which work pretty well, although I sometimes experience leaks. During the night, I have no choice but to wear a heavy nighttime diaper since I am a heavy nighttime wetter.

Oftentimes I get depressed over the need to wear diapers, but am very thankful they are available, since without them I don't know how I would cope with this problem.

 

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I know what you mean. I've said it before - if it wasn't for the products available for this, I would have no life. When it comes right down to it, I'm surprised when I hear people say 'I wouldn't (or don't want to) wear diapers...'. I think 'Oh, really? Let's see how well you get along without them...'

 

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Are incontinent people (men ) able to be helped with condom catheters?

 

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I am an 82 yr old with a movement disorder problem and also a problem with incontinence urinary and fecal. I do wear my wifes pads but I need to find a better solution. when I go to use the urinal I relax too much and sometimes mess myself. I do use crutches and a wheelchair and use a hand urinal at night. Sometimes I use about 10 times a night and sometime not at all. In have a problem being cold all the time and even wear a coat in the house even during the summer. My wife does have the opposite happening to her so it is hard managing the comfort in the house. we keep it about 72 degrees so I just get under a blanket until I get comfortable. I need to see a specialist for this an endrocrinologist I think. I asked for one about a year ago and never got to see one, I think I had my thyroid irradiated when I had cancer removed on my neck and it was too close to the thyroid. I am getting tired of getting blood tests from my PCP and telling me there is no problem. The HMO I use uses different numbers in their blood tests I believe.

 

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Gelu65,

I've had severe urge incontinence for many years. Several urologists that I have consulted have recommended that I use a condom catheter; and I've tried several different kinds over the years. My experience has been that the condom catheters are somewhat tricky to use and prone to spectacular failures that produce major floods. I find that wearing a properly fitting, high-capacity diaper is a more practical solution that is less likely to cause embarrassing leaks. However, if you absolutely hate the idea of wearing a diaper, by all means give condom catheters a try. Your experience may be different from mine.

 

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Gelu65,

I've had severe urge incontinence for many years. Several urologists that I have consulted have recommended that I use a condom catheter; and I've tried several different kinds over the years. My experience has been that the condom catheters are somewhat tricky to use and prone to spectacular failures that produce major floods. I find that wearing a properly fitting, high-capacity diaper is a more practical solution that is less likely to cause embarrassing leaks. However, if you absolutely hate the idea of wearing a diaper, by all means give condom catheters a try. Your experience may be different from mine.

Gelu65,

I've had severe urge incontinence for many years. Several urologists that I have consulted have recommended that I use a condom catheter; and I've tried several different kinds over the years. My experience has been that the condom catheters are somewhat tricky to use and prone to spectacular failures that produce major floods. I find that wearing a properly fitting, high-capacity diaper is a more practical solution that is less likely to cause embarrassing leaks. However, if you absolutely hate the idea of wearing a diaper, by all means give condom catheters a try. Your experience may be different from mine.

@inconninmiss
I too have severe urge incontinence. i have been unable to find a diaper that can handle my huge volume voids. Any suggestions