Wife Had to Change me in Public

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I have an embarrassing incident I need to vent. I am totally incontinent and as of about a month ago I started having mobility issues. When I am at the store I have to use the scooter they provide. Well yesterday I had an odd incident. We were half done shopping and out of the blue my bowels evacuated and I messed my diaper. This has never happened before ever. She took me to the car and changed me in the backseat in the parking lot. Right where everyone could see it. I had no idea this was happening until it was too late. You would be surprised at how many people young and old think nothing about this issue. One young lady actually asked my wife if she needed help changing me. People are more aware of this problem than I thought. So I guess what I am getting at is if you feel like everyone is looking at you or you’re ashamed to go in public because of your incontinence don’t worry about it. More people understand than you know and believe it or not nobody thinks anything of it!!

 

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It was a nice gesture on the young lady to ask and help. I think with everything going on in this world, I think people have changed some and want to help each other out. I was out yesterday at the store when someone came up to me and said softly that I might want to change my diaper soon. I looked down to find a wet spot on my shorts on in the crotch area. I told the person thank you for telling me. I took what I had in the cart and paid and left for home. It sucks when you can't feel that you are going or flood out the diaper you are wearing. I take it with a grain of salt and not worry to much. We all need to live our lives and move on.

 

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Greetings,

I read this story - and it made me think of the Lord. Wherever I go; I carry this pebble inside my pocket of an angel to protect me from bad spirits.

Continence issues are something if you are immobile in my opinion should be handled discretely by health aides or loved ones - if you are unable to care for yourself.

I am thankful for the Lord for my many blessings of being able to care for myself - but still struggle with the physical and emotional toll that bladder issues have on my body and self esteem.

I wouldn't wish this condition on anybody in the world. But may the world rejoice that one day; people like myself are not looked down upon or thought of different for bladder and bowel health issues.

Lord hear our prayer.

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs

 

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@Randall,
Thanks for sharing what turned out to be quite a positive story, and the message that accompanies it. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did that created this topic, so again sorry & thanks! With all of the advertisements etc. constantly on TV I think the “Stigma” is finally starting to crumble a bit.
In the past far more people suffered silently than actually sought treatment for incontinence and a few years back the average time from onset to first speaking to a Doctor was over 8 years, simply too embarrassing..
It still amazes me that the “WRONG” teaching of parents, family members, teachers etc. to scold, embarrass, humiliate in order to force compliance through complete continence is INSANE simply at its core! These were the words of wisdom passed down from the 50’s through the 70’s, yet they still permeate society 40-50 years later, it’s simply NUTS!
I give some credit to the Big Pharma companies, as they advertise incessantly to sell their meds that only work for a small minority of incontinent people, but again it gets the message out! I usually have CNBC running on a screen to keep an eye on the overall market while trading every day and must admit I was initially shocked to see the number of ads for everything from catheters to adult diapers in the last few years. I can tell you I’ve been watching CNBC during my trading days for over 20 years and would never have predicted this a few years ago, but our society is aging & where better to market to those like me that have used it as a tool for a long time.
Another important thing you shared, is that a complete stranger showed the compassion to come forward to attempt to assist you and your wife at a time of potentially tremendous embarrassment, instead she shared caring and calm during your crisis.
I know I’m again a bit long winded, but I feel this shows that despite continued attempts by mass media and the fear-mongering utilized like a sharp blade by certain elected individuals of every stripe, our society is, at its core full of wonderful people….
Thanks again Randall

 

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@Randall,
Thanks for sharing what turned out to be quite a positive story, and the message that accompanies it. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did that created this topic, so again sorry & thanks! With all of the advertisements etc. constantly on TV I think the “Stigma” is finally starting to crumble a bit.
In the past far more people suffered silently than actually sought treatment for incontinence and a few years back the average time from onset to first speaking to a Doctor was over 8 years, simply too embarrassing..
It still amazes me that the “WRONG” teaching of parents, family members, teachers etc. to scold, embarrass, humiliate in order to force compliance through complete continence is INSANE simply at its core! These were the words of wisdom passed down from the 50’s through the 70’s, yet they still permeate society 40-50 years later, it’s simply NUTS!
I give some credit to the Big Pharma companies, as they advertise incessantly to sell their meds that only work for a small minority of incontinent people, but again it gets the message out! I usually have CNBC running on a screen to keep an eye on the overall market while trading every day and must admit I was initially shocked to see the number of ads for everything from catheters to adult diapers in the last few years. I can tell you I’ve been watching CNBC during my trading days for over 20 years and would never have predicted this a few years ago, but our society is aging & where better to market to those like me that have used it as a tool for a long time.
Another important thing you shared, is that a complete stranger showed the compassion to come forward to attempt to assist you and your wife at a time of potentially tremendous embarrassment, instead she shared caring and calm during your crisis.
I know I’m again a bit long winded, but I feel this shows that despite continued attempts by mass media and the fear-mongering utilized like a sharp blade by certain elected individuals of every stripe, our society is, at its core full of wonderful people….
Thanks again Randall

Hi @Sprung87;

I like this post. Not because I 100% fully agree with everything in it; but that it brings Light to a much needed discussion about the horrors of what people like us face in childhood and even now.

It's a positive spin - a redirection of positive vibes I suppose.

Personally, I still believe there is much more that can be done in that aspect - as I feel there is still a stigma associated with those with bladder conditions of being treated indifferently than those of normal Continence.

In regards to the OPs post above, In my own reality and world - an Stranger offering to help change another strangers Incontinence brief with or without medical background would classify in the "fruity" category based on what the poster described. However, I am glad you mentioned that our country at it's core full of wonderful people - because I still believe that to be true. We need more people who are God centered and God fearing.

I personally have found my own spiritual trials have given me the largest testimony for the truth and helping myself work towards my own trauma and experiences of dealing with the humiliation and shame of my childhood of being talked down to for ex. Bladder issues that were not my fault as a boy.

But I also know, like you've mentioned how far we've come as a culture - and I thank the Lord everyday that we have come forward - just so long as we do not go backwards.

I suppose any more advice I could offer in this thread is self advocacy - if you are disabled, immobile - you still are in charge of your body and you should not be put in situations where you feel exposed by others regardless of your age or disability.

If you are in need of advocates or feel threatened or at the mercy of a caregiver or loved one who is abusive - please reach out or even contact a member of the NAFC staff so that we can help your voice get heard.

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs

 

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I couldn’t believe it happened it was so embarrassing but above all that for a complete stranger to offer assistance blew me away. Here I am helpless and exposed getting diapered in my backseat like a child and she thought absolutely nothing of it. She actually did help to raise me back up and stand me up and position everything correctly and helped pull my pants back up and get me back on the scooter. She’s probably the only young lady for miles that would have done that but I got lucky I was there when she was.