Concerned wife

[Archives1]

I would get divorced because he hid a HUGE, MARRIAGE-AFFECTING, LIFELONG, MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS from you for so long. Unbelievably dishonest. If he couldn’t be open about that, what else is he hiding?

Actually, you can probably just get your marriage annulled (canceled). What a jerk for lying to you about that all throughout courtship!

We can and will give you many tricks and ideas to live with incontinence. But you should know that incontinence is rarely treatable let alone curable. He will have to sleep like this for the rest of your life - bedwetting typically lasts the rest of your life.

*I’m* a bed wetter. I wouldn’t share a bed with myself (so I barely date), so I’m telling you as a friend, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with it).

It’s so nasty that he just put towels down and rolled over - what an ape!

 

[Archives1]

Im not sure about divorce but i do agree its a problem. I sorta still dont know when to disclose. The right time most definitely isn't the first date, but i can say the time is way before a proposal let alone marriage.

My general rule is 3 dates or when i feel comfortable if we talk a lot between dates. I basically say “heres the issue, if diapers bug you i totally get it and no hard feelings”.

I would say he may have a special case tho if hes afraid that a bad diagnosis can put his career in jeopardy. If someone told me i couldn't have my career because of my bladder, id probably be way more cautious.

 

[Archives1]

You have had a dialogue with his mother. Perhaps she can give you more insight as to his issue. How was it handled at home with Mom? How often did it happen? What medical steps were taken? She could be a world of help.

 

[Archives1]

Yes, I agree with @Bobby103, I would talk to his mom. If she or his father or any family member in any way punished him for his condition, then he will have a lot of trauma and PTSD associated with it, and will likely need to work through that in therapy and come to realize that you are NOT his mother/father, and that you would be supportive of his needs and whatever condition he has.

Of course we all know how uncooperative a mother-in-law can be, so I hope she'll be open with you and tell you the whole truth.