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My husband just turned 80 last week. He has had a few issues with incontinence recently, but we just got back from a cruise, during which he thoroughly soaked himself maybe four or five times. He waits until he "needs" to go, and then it's too late. I am trying to get him to pre-emptively empty his bladder, and while he agrees that may be helpful...he doesn't do it. He has lost control several times since our return home. Unfortunately, he is no good at cleaning up after himself, and so this unpleasant task has fallen to me. I'm not pleased but trying valiantly to keep that displeasure from him. I've had incontinence issues for years and keep two types of pads and some adult diapers on hand, as well as some protective pads for the bed. I just assumed that's what one does. He doesn't even want to talk about it. But something's got to give! I think I need to sit him down and level with him about how I'm feeling and let him know that he's got to take some responsibility. I don't want to destroy his self-esteem, but you'd think being dry would be a preferred state. I don't want to live in a pee-coated house. But, he'd rather visibly wet his pants than wear padding. How do you get through that kind of stubbornness? I know I will probably have to get him in to a urologist. His regular doctor just throws pills at him and isn't very helpful.