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Hi I'm a 66 year old male. Due to car accident damaging my lower spine a couple of years back I now suffer from urinary incontinence 24/7 . I manage my life around Tena Slip diapers.
However as I posted just now I still cant get my head around to the fact that I will now be wearing incontinence protection for the rest of my life . I quite often try and put on a brave face , but many times it really pees me off (Pun intended )
Oh for the record it's urge incontinence I suffer with, that and the occasional urine rash just for good measure .:oops:
 
Thanks to all of you for coming forward with revelations concerning your personal, physical ailments. I am normally quite squeamish about anything that is even close to personal issues, but like you all, it is a comfort to know that none of us need be all alone in this battle. I am a 67 year old male, married to the same woman for 47 years. My wife is an absolute angel that is revealed by her vigilance and genuine sympathy, for which I am eternally thankful.
My laparoscopic prostate removal procedure was on 5/25/2022. I could immediately stop a urine flow long enough to get to a bathroom, though there were times in the first two weeks that it suddenly became necessary to engage additional manual assistance on the way, if you know what I mean. I have been practicing the exercises as they are described, and it does seem like there is some improvement about every two or three days.
The thing that I feel I most need to convey to others concerns the horrific pain and suffering that one can go through due to chronic constipation during the time of this procedure....which almost killed me. Having had a kidney stone removed 11 months ago, I can tell you that the that pain was half of what I experienced eight times in one day due to a lack of communication from the medical professionals involved. I really feel the need to write a full paper on the issue, even if it helps only one person to avoid what I went through. If anyone is interested let me know and I will explain. Thanks to you all for your contributions to fellow sufferers, (if that is word).
 
@oldernotwiser I have been surprised that more doctors (or support staff) do not tell patience to take a stool softener twice a day and generic Miralax daily for two weeks following prostatectomy or other surgeries. Constipation is a side effect of pain meds and anesthesia.

My doctor's staff had this is the paperwork given to me prior to surgery.

I also had a male ureteral sling surgery to help my incontinence. I took Miralax each morning in my coffee for 6 weeks so that I would not strain and move the sling during a bowel movement.
 
@thudson1965
My pre-op meeting with a young hospital worker,(I don't know what her expertise is),8 days prior to my surgery was the beginning of what I was very much concerned about. I have had chronic constipation my entire life, and it is not because I don't eat tons of fibrous food. Not too long ago, I discovered that taking Psyllium husks 30 minutes before a meal will keep me regular, something that is life altering to me. When I was in the pre-op meeting I was asked what substances I was currently taking, which were mainly vitamins and some omega-three capsules for maintaining good blood pressure. The only other thing was Psyllium husks. She said that she did not know what that was but that I must stop taking it as well.... and this for the whole week before my surgery. I told her what the psyllium was for and how much I depended on it to keep my system flowing. I even asked her to check with the doctors to get confirmation that what she was demanding was necessary. She wouldn't. When the ordeal was over, it was found that her requirement for me to stop taking psyllium before meals was unnecessary. I am 67 years old, I have fought the fight against constipation and it's awful side effects for a long long time. I have gone on diets that consist of only fibrous materials that are known to combat constipation. Even laxatives, stool softeners, enemas, magnesium citrate, and senna, and every other thing that is useful to people like me, do nothing for me, even when taken for days. The last meal I had had was 8 days before my surgery, I fasted the day before, and then was not able to eat anything save a nibble of a piece of fruit or a spoon full of cereal each day, plus the previously mentioned constipation pills and stool softeners, which I took every four hours around the clock. After a count of two, I even stopped taking the oxycocone pills that were prescribed, because I know that they amplify my problem. The upshot is I went for seventeen days without a single BM but the day after I had my catheter removed,(which was two weeks after the surgery), I began having a pain that knocked me to the ground every time I stopped urinating. The first event lasted 45 minutes, and was twice the pain level of the kidney stone that I had had removed last July. As I lay on the floor, the pain sent me into violent tremors, thankfully none of the others lasted as long as the first one did. This occurred seven times that day. Anyway, after I got the attention of the doctor, he realized that what I was trying to tell him was that there was a serious blockage in my lower abdomen and I needed some drastic help, which I orchestrated myself once at home. Once the evacuation began it took 8 hours to conclude, with much of the matter being black, as blood does when it comes from the colon. Of course the alternate of the blackening can the 2 1/2 weeks that that material remained inside of me. Then it was presumed that the pain was not only from the bowel but that it probably instigated bladder spasms to join into the symphony of pains, this due to the fact that the colon and bladder are normally in contact with one another.
I know mine may be an extreme case, but I do think that this potential should be a big part of the pre-op consideration, especially when the powerful pain killers are in the mix. Sorry it is so long, but I do believe that had I not been in generally good health, what I went through could well have killed me. If that is even possible, I write this so that it may even save a life. take care
 
Hey @oldernotwiser;

Welcome to the NAFC! I read through all your post and I can relate in the sense that I suffered from constant constipation when I was on oxycodone for a Kidney Stone in college.

It was terrible; since then - I don't know if it's IBS or what - but I haven't had a regular BM as I suffer from an acute fissure due to it. I'm surprised you didn't do any physical damage like I did. Black stool is pretty normal; as I've suffered from that before and from what Ive read like you said is a high concentration of blood - but reading over all of your symptoms (I'm no medical doctor) but it sounds like you may have something similar to Crohn's disease (I've been thinking of my step dads symptoms as he has been through the same thing).

In regards to the bladder spasms; I can total relate that when they get bad they can be excruciatingly painful. I don't honestly know if people truly understand what it feels like to live in a body where you want to hold your urine in; but due to the pain of the spasms - it causes you to always want to relax thus leakage.

You're not alone in this. Keep us posted - and I'm glad your here. I can't relate to anything in regards to prostate surgeries -. But I can in regards to bladder issues, leakage, pain, and pain management.

I would recommend talking to your doctor about a non-narcotic pain medicine that is non habit forming. It may help with the constipation you are suffering and may help you lead a better life in the future. May also help with the bladder spasms; personally, Ive only had to be medicated once from spasms - other than that wearing protection on severe days of pain has helped reduced having to rely on pain medicine.

I'm sorry you are in this boat -

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs
 
Hello everyone, my name is Susie. I deal with incontinence. I do get embarrassed about it. But I am no spring chicken, I have tried many things, seems wearing a protective garment is best solution at this point. I am just looking for support and maybe offering support to others dealing with similar or any other issue. Please reach out for f you want to chat.
 
I have a prolapse and am waiting for a new pessary to arrive. My 1st pessary slipped out after I left the dr's office and couldn't get back to see her. Its been some time waiting for my new and bigger size pessary to try. Meanwhile I am having issues such as my urge to go instantly to the bathroom and sometimes I can't pee. I have a small soft stool which is new to me with not much feeling. I have tried different brands of underwear with a thick pad on top of the disposable underwear but they all leak on the sides and need to be improved. I have to wear them all the time. I don't go out much. These pads with my disposable underwear are so bulky to wear. I have no social life. I am a senior lady that is diabetic, had open heart surgery some years ago, have meds for my thyroid and chronic kidney disease. Other issues as well. I'm new at this but hope it may help someone.
 
Hi,
I found this website today. I have struggled with having "accidents" my entire life. I am 26 with no children.A part of the issue is that I do not like announcing when I have to go (when I am in a group). So by the time, I get the courage to say something, I am cutting it close. I also have the urge hit randomly with leaks. A few days ago, (07/29) I went out with my friends, and felt I had to go and leaked a little. We caught a bus and I sat away from them because I felt like I was going to cry and pee simultaneously (that has happened before). I leaked more while we were walking and really thought I was gonna cry really hard. Fortunately, I was able to finish when I did get to a bathroom. But I still felt sad for a little while after. I told two of them what was happening. I have had accidents as a kid and adult in so many places that I feel uncomfortable if I don't go just in case multiple times before leaving wherever I am. I was not a bedwetter as a child but when I was 18, I started wetting the bed for several months as a 12th grader.I was dehydrating myself during the day at school.My doctor told my mom it was constipation and my doctor gave me a note. Once I started drinking more water, it stopped. It started again months later, after a bad experience with a counselor. However, I noticed, with nightmares sometimes, I have woken up in the middle of "going," so I am able to finish in the bathroom. I also leak sometimes when I stand up from sitting for awhile.Some mornings, I leak as soon as I open my eyes. There are also mornings when I am not running, and can easily walk to the bathroom. This is the way my body is and is frustrating. I am very small for my age, so I already look like a kid and still deal with this like a kid. It makes me anxious to think people might laugh at me or that my friends will be embarassed.I am going on a trip with my friends and I'm nervous that I'll sleep and wake up when the seatbelt light is on and the flight attendant will make me wait. I told my friends my concerns and they told me it is okay, they are not judging. But I still feel pathetic. I don't want to get stuck in a long line in the bathroom and end up in tears and itchy. That has also happened before. It is absolutely humiliating, accidentally wetting and you're literally in a bathroom or right outside of it. I had surgery removing 15 inches of my intestines as a baby so I am not regular. I have to eat foods to help me "go the other way," if you know what I mean. Part of me thinks that is the cause. I am also nervous that when I lose my virginity, this will be even worse.Whenever I have a close call, I end up having close calls all day like my bladder went into overdrive. I always feel like crying and have cried after an accident and sometimes close calls. I recently bought liners for bladder leaks and just used some today. It helped so far. I think it will get better if I start drinking more water. I don't know why I feel anxious telling other people I have to go. I've always been like that. I think it is because I don't like the attention.
 
I tried to edit my last post, ended up making a second one by accident. I have confided in my friends but I know they probably think I'm just anxious for no reason. I hate it too because I always end up stuttering and Friday, I think I told my friend "I had to go potty" in a panic instead of using more mature language. I don't really remember what I said. I hate how childish I feel and ironically whenever I do have an accident, the first thing I think of is finding my teddy bear. I hate feeling like this because I'm not a baby
 
You might find that Depends and similar products can help you feel less vulnerable. The more you wear them the more you learn about wearing them and the more comfortable you might begin to feel. If this were me I would find a urologist to assess this issue with. There are treatments but you first find a doctor to help with it. Good luck. Nothing wrong with hugging a teddy!
 
GonzoRock said:
You might find that Depends and similar products can help you feel less vulnerable. The more you wear them the more you learn about wearing them and the more comfortable you might begin to feel. If this were me I would find a urologist to assess this issue with. There are treatments but you first find a doctor to help with it. Good luck. Nothing wrong with hugging a teddy!

Thank you. I don't know if I can fit Depends but I did try to use liners for bladder leaks and that helped yesterday during the day. I don't know what I'm gonna do about this vacation. I'm still nervous about going. I don't wanna share a room & end up having a nightmare.
 
GonzoRock said:
You might find that Depends and similar products can help you feel less vulnerable. The more you wear them the more you learn about wearing them and the more comfortable you might begin to feel. If this were me I would find a urologist to assess this issue with. There are treatments but you first find a doctor to help with it. Good luck. Nothing wrong with hugging a teddy!

I think I'm too small for Depends. I'm only 100 pounds and a size 0. Which is also a part of the problem because most of the jeans are skinny fit.
Do any of you have suggestions for waking up during a nightmare? I always wake up in the middle of peeing, which saves my sheets but doesn't save my underwear or my sadness. I appreciate what you said about the teddy bear, I feel like shit for sleeping with it sometimes.
 
What do you all suggest for reducing the panic attacks? I felt like I couldn't breathe when I started having an accident last Friday and I couldn't say anything without stuttering. I don't like that feeling. I feel it after coffee sometimes.
 
I'm going to a concert with my best friend this weekend and I'm honestly anxious. I don't want to have to go while we we're out. I know the lines for the porta potties are probably going to be really really long. Long lines always lead to accidents for me.
 
Hello everyone. I am new to this incontinence thing. It just hit me out of the blue and I have been screened for the typical causes, and I know what it is. Now that I learned what it is, I have been advised how to deal with the embarrassment of randomly leaking. Although, I am afraid to let a trickle out into an incontinence undergarment if I am unable to get to a restroom to get the urge to temporarily stop. I want the urge to urinate to stop but I am afraid that I will eventually just relieve myself completely out of habit. I am aware that if I don’t relieve myself, I can cause the urine to back up into my kidneys which is dangerous, and I could also cause a sudden flushing because the prostate decides to let the urine through at will… part of my agony - sometimes not knowing when it is coming, after struggling to go. Advice how to get past the fear of letting a trickle out is appreciated.
 
Hi all,
New here. I’m 52 and I’ve been wetting the bed all my life. As a kid it was almost every night. In high school it was down to about once a week then once every few months by my twenties. Longest dry period I’ve had was about 6 months. Once. Now I’m back up to about 3 times a week. What I’m grappling with now is going back into diapers. I had been wearing diapers to bed for a while. We had a bathroom in our bedroom so it was easy to change discretely. Now we’ve moved and do not have a bathroom in the bedroom. I’m mortified at the thought of putting a diaper on in front of my wife. I’ve been agonizing over talking to her about it but can’t get myself to do it. But changing the sheets in the middle of the night is getting old.
 
Welcome… Trust me when I say you are not alone. I would only encourage you to do what keeps you from being in distress. I know… bed wetting versus diapers… a conundrum. Just keep in mind that we have your back!
 
Hi. I am a 55 year old woman. I have had urinary incontinence for quite a few years. But lately I have had more frequent attacks of fecal incontinence. Fortunately this has only happened when I have been at home. I will later Google what I ate or drank and realized that I ate too much of a particular thing. Or drank something that had too high of a caffeine content (I know from past experience that that is a trigger.) I can no longer eat marinara sauce on spaghetti or pizza because it triggers fecal incontinence. I used to be able to eat it fine. I inherited that problem from my mom and she developed it latish in her life as well. What is up with that?! Does anyone else have that problem?
 
Hi @Kris and welcome to the forum. You are not alone in suffering both UI and FI. I suffer both too as do others here. Fecal accidents in particular are dreadfully hard to deal with - physically and emotionally - but you sound like you are starting to work out what triggers accidents for you. Hopefully you can learn to control your bowel rather than it controlling you.
Have you had any advice from your doctor about your symptoms getting worse and how to deal with that?
 
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