How did you learn to cope?

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I thought everything that was going to happen to me already happened until this month. Last January I had a heart attack and I thought that was bad,but that was added to a very long list of conditions. Most of the things are not fatal but very irritating and painful but this has them all beat. How did you get used to all? the leaks? I am not sure I can handle this. I am already afraid to go anywhere, afraid of a big leak. I have not even been to Church for the last two weeks. Yeah you can't do it for me but maybe you can tell me how you learned to cope.

 

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Well to be honest you never fully except it but you learn how to manage it and this will give you confidence in dealing with it and being yourself again. Do your research and talk to multiple drs and people who are dealing with incontinence!! Managing your incontinence also means managing your depression during these times. There are many many ways to manage your thoughts and your bladder and you just have to be patient and do your research and don’t stop reaching out to us and others who are here to help!! I hope you can find the strength to move forward and keep on living!!

 

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Do you have someone you can talk to? A major source of anxiety for me was my significant other. I didn't wan her to know how bad NY bladder issues had gotten. When we finally discussed it, an overwhelming burden was lifted off my back. It didn't make me have fewer accidents, but I worried less about them.

 

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You can avoid leaks (for the most part) with a good diaper. I’m not going to say brief, underwear, etc. they are what they are. A person with a broken leg needs crutches just like we need diapers or other protection. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
No one will notice that you’re wearing one. Now, the best ones on he market are betterdry, NorthShore MegaMax, and confidry 24/7. You won’t leak with those for a good 6-8 hours with heavy fluid intake.
Drinking plenty of fluid is also something that you want to do. It keeps irons from having a strong smell. If you need more advice please ask. We don’t judge here and we’re all here to help. Have a good night!

 

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@Spaz:

Direct and clearly stated.

My thoughts run parallel.


@thatgirl:

Hang with us for a while and you'll cope! We speak the language and
many of our past postings here tell how to cope. Our innovation and attitudes prove it.

 

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It sounds like you've had a rollercoaster of change in health this past year and that has got to be hard to accept. I think we all are shocked,then angry, as we grieve the changes in a body function we took for granted. As Petejc said, we never quite get used to it but we adapt.Never forget, human nature is to adapt and many people around are dealing with unseen issues too.
This forum is a good comfort if you want to express your concerns and feel free to rage.
You might want to experiment with various types of clothing when you try the quality brand diapers Spaz suggested, (depends and the stuff in the CVS or grocery aren't good for heavy leaking but you can try a couple different types as they might be sufficient). Back to clothing, see what works for you to easily wear but bring a similar pair of pants or jeans rolled up in a plastic bag in your handbag and a packet of wet wipes so IF you leak and need to change in public you can wash up and put the wet trousers in a zip lock bag.
This is a good place, this forum.

 

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I think we can all be thankful that the absorbent products available today are so good and so varied you are sure to find something that works for you. We all have our issues to deal with, but the trick is to not give up.

 

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Take a deep breath, and do some surfing online for a product that you can depend on. There is many companies out there that will send samples to help you, just a thought. And remember we are also here for you, and yes we all leak

 

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The way that you mentioned not having been to church for two weeks led me to feel that church is an important part of your life. Can you confide in your pastor (or your pastor's wife)and ask if there is anyone else in the congregation who has had this problem and might be willing to help you adjust? The advice about carrying an extra pair of slacks or jeans "just in case" is good. I believe that I have heard of slips that have waterproof panels in the back if you are more comfortable wearing skirts. You also should consult a urologist, preferably one who specializes in caring for women. There are medications that can help control urinary incontinence, and exercises that strengthen the muscles that support and control the bladder. Try to think of this as another medical issue, not a cause for shame or embarrassment. You have lots of company. (I am assuming that you are a woman because of your user name.)

 

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Squander-I agree with you-the idea is not to give up but sometimes I just want to-it would be easy to just fall asleep and not wake up. That is ho my Uncle Joe went to heaven-he fell asleep and didn't wake up in the chair watching TV at home. We all have pity parties sometimes.

 

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Dear thatgirl: I just try to make the best of the situation I have got. Since breaking my neck six years ago, my spinal injury has left me paralysed from the chest down with incessant spasticity. Double incontinence is just an extra nuisance added to these. Friends have helped. So too has sharing expeiences on sites such as this one.

 

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Squander-I agree with you-the idea is not to give up but sometimes I just want to-it would be easy to just fall asleep and not wake up. That is ho my Uncle Joe went to heaven-he fell asleep and didn't wake up in the chair watching TV at home. We all have pity parties sometimes.

I think we've all been there, the trick is finding a reason to live, and there are many, as many as there people on earth. Ir is hard sometimes, but changing your focus off of the bad stuff and on to something more positive can be life changing. Hang in there!

 

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Honored to know you all. We are all here, in life, for reasons unknown to us just admire the heck out of each and everyone of you.

 

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Thanks to all of you for your replies. I do have an appointment with my doctor Monday. Have done a lot of reading on the subject and read some of your suggestions but it is good to hear from someone who is there already. I have been on a good pity party lately, so you have helped me. When I go to the pain doctor to get Tylenol 3 for my arthritis and neuropathy etc. I always see people much worse off than me and it ends my "party" but this has started in the past three weeks and I have not come to terms with it yet. Maybe when I see enough doctors to find out what caused it I can handle it better. I was living off Imodium until I read that it can damage my heart and then I went to fiber capsules but neither one helped much.As for finding a good reason to live - I am almost 82, my kids are grown, grandkids grown, feel and hurt too bad to do much of anything. I was doing volunteer work at the local VA clinic until the arthritis hit so bad that I could not do that anymore.I can think of a lot of things I would like to do but feel too bad to do them. Thanks for listening!

 

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Ay 82 you remind me of my mother she was about 83 when incontinence hit and boy was she mad!
She used to point a crooked index finger at me and say, I hope this never happens to you! It is a problem for many woman, young women too, who knew!! (Being an empath who felt her every pain I promptly became incontinent at night). I say you are deserving of pampering and rest at 82 and by your writing it's clear you are as sharp and full of life as a woman half your age. Since you are a spirit full of vim and vigor I expect you will get up and do things anyhow. Feel well!!

 

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that girl-my heart goes out to you. I have had pain all my life and I have pity parties myself-I was in one today and did my exercises to help me get out of it. I watched what I ate. I have put about 8 lbs on the last 5 years and need to get serious about getting it off. My cloths are not fitting well. It takes about 1 year after you lose the weight to keep it off. Our bodies reset their set weight. I know I feel heavy so I need to work on this. Be blessed and thankful for your kids and grand kids. I am alone in the world-My parents are gone and my ex -the alcoholic took his kids and grand kids with him. I know he didn't want the divorce but I didn't want anyone yelling at me anymore and being violent. I pray everyday and thank the Lord for his blessings. Remember we are only on this earth a short time and with the Lord for eternity. My Aunt Til called me yesterday and she will be 105 next month. She is truly a blessing. It is acceptance and learning how to adjust and cope. Life is one big classroom. Blessings and keep the faith and the good work.

 

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You are always taking steps to take care of yourself Barbara. Bless you.

 

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Thank You Maymay, it is not always easy,but I try my best. Bless you also. I read the BIBLE( basic instruction before leaving earth) pretty much daily. The life of the apostles was hard. If anyone doubts the existence of the Lord-just read how the apostles all died and preached the gospel. IF anything can convince you-that does.

 

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I was in my early 20s when I had to learn to cope as a result of other medical treatment. I thot it was temporary and a side effect that would go away. No internet then. At least not like we have now. I remember when I went to purchase Depend briefs at Kmart and how awfull it was. And then wearing them and looking in a mirror to see if it was noticable. They actually worked very well back then as far as being absorbant but did seem bulky and noisey when walking. I remember being in a line to buy movie tickets and thinking that the folks around me could tell I was wearing them. With experience I got used to everything and now I can order what I use online. I have realised more from this site how much I have changed my life and made adjustments to deal with it. Im not complaining at all, I feel very furtunate to be as well as I am because I know many have it so much worse than I do. I was just self conscience about it when I was younger.

 

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I try not to think back-it is too depressing and history, tomorrow is a mystery-today is a gift-why we call it the present. Change your attitude. Try to look at your glass as being half full and not half empty. We live better than over 90% of the world. There are so many wars going on right now-it is unbelievable. I feel a lot of Americans don't realized how blessed we are. Over 1 billion people do not have food, shelter,clean water-etc. The basics for life. We have medical care-etc. The fact that we have Kmart's-grocery stores-etc. it a blessing. Good Luck Ruhappy and we all learn to cope. Remember this stuff is only temporary-it is not eternal.