How to cope with embarrassment?

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I wrote this post quite a few times yesterday but every time clicked ‘cancel’ at the end rather than posting. Slightly ironic that I felt too embarrassed to share a post about feeling embarrassed, but there you go! I was (still am) a bit worried about saying too much/oversharing so I won’t
go into detail.

I’ve had a few times over the last week where I’ve felt pretty humiliated but I don’t want to make this post too long.

Do other people feel like this? Is it normal to feel embarrassed? How do other people deal with that?

 

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@EleanorRose I did feel like this to start with, but once I became confident that no one could tell what I'm wearing under my trousers I relaxed about it. I do still feel embarrassed about taking waste to the bin at work. Unfortunately I work on the 4th floor of a building and the main bins are in the basement.

 

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Hi Eleanor,
I just sent you a message. Good Morning physlink hope you are doing well.
I’m off to work.

Have a great one today!
Jim

 

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@jrpoorman hi Jim, good morning to you too, although it is afternoon here. I'm off work today after a catheter I used went off course and caused internal bleeding. The joys of urology! Cheers Phil

 

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I understand what you mean. Pretty sure mine gave me a couple bacterial infections I’ve been dealing with for a couple months.think they figured out the two bacteria that were causing the infections and I’m hoping after tonight’s last dose it will be gone for good. What fun right?
How are you doing? How do they treat for the bleeding? Hopefully it didn’t perforate your bladder? Prayers for a speedy recovery.

Have a nice Monday
Jim

 

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@jrpoorman I have been given blood clotting medication, extra slimy lube to use and pain killers. They seem to think it should heal in a few days. I just hope that I don't get scar tissue growing again! Cheers Phil

 

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Oh geeesh,
Sounds like no fun for sure. Prayers for you my friend.

 

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@EleanorRose I understand where you are coming from with the stigma associated with incontinence and using protection it cand be scary and difficult to talk about but I can reassure you that there is no reason to be afraid to post openly here this is a very supportive and like-minded group we are very non-judgmental about incontinence and the need for protection as I have said many times if you think of diapers/pull-ups as just another form of underwear than it is that much easier to deal with once again welcome to the group I believe you came to the right place and I hope you find the support you came here looking for

 

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What we wear under us , does not define who we are

 

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You need not be embarrassed.I've been incontinent for 30yrs with lots of accidents.

 

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I had my accident in 97 so I've had a few embarrassing moments over years but unfortunately it's part of living with incontinence. Medication, quality protection along with diet is the best way to minimize embarrassment (in my case).

 

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It is difficult enough to live with incontinence. Adding embarrassment just makes you feel worse. I hope you will take good care of yourself, and know that you are not alone.

 

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It's hard to answer without knowing what it was that embarrassed you, but, in general, once I realized that allowing someone or something to embarrass me was to give it/him/her power over me, I decided to refuse to permit anyone/thing to have that power. Sometimes, I still have to stop myself in the middle of an embarrassment reaction and take back my power and accept myself as I am. It gets easier with practice.

 

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@Diana that is a great way to handle things

 

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Thank you, Diana. Yes, I want to take back my power when I find I've given it away, and accept myself as I am. I pray every day to help myself do that. I have a lot of illnesses, and cash flow problems, and work hard almost every day of the week. I am tired. I'm too tired to add embarrassment to the list.
We are all good and special human beings. May we enjoy ourselves and our lives, as best we can, and not be embarrassed about ourselves. Living with incontinence, and whatever else we are living with, is hard enough. Sending love to all of you.

 

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Eleanor Rose, I agree with Diana that we could be more helpful if we knew specifically what embarrasses you.

 

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It seems our whole lives parents teach us we are bad if we can’t hold our liquid or bowels properly. Having to unlearn that or having an accident or even talking about an incontinence problem is a source of anxiety for many folks, sometimes me too although I try to make the best of it.
Dont beat yourself up for things you can’t control it just wears us out. With that, everyone have an amazing day today! Be a shining star among the turkeys of this world.
Jim

 

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@jrpoorman YOUR absolutely correct we are taught growing up "only babies wear diapers" be a big kid and wear pull-ups and whar are pull-ups? they are just pull-on diapers and what is a diaper just another form of underwear as long as there is the attitude "only babies wear diapers" there is going to be the stigma that exists I can understand why parents say the things they do to encourage their children to potty train and move out of diaper I would love to not have to wear diapers but I do and wearing diapers does not make me a baby it makes me more mature and accepting of my need and dealing with it the best I can

 

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It does get easier as you go.I don't worry about it now. Just spent 3 weeks travelling the states with a mate he didn't care I was in nappies all the time

 

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@Stevewet that is awesome sounds like a good trip