Diaper Bulge

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True words to live by @Jwh51! Yes I consider myself as a seasoned wearer, albeit pull-up type, but even so it's still a matter of accepting that you need them and just going on from there. And most people are just too absorbed in what's going on in their own lives to even notice what someone in their immediate vicinity is wearing and under your street clothes at that.
And SciFiFan, it's true that even if something is obvious, people just may not notice. And that's especially true in that busy hospital setting. The doctor probably sees things like "white stuff above your jeans" much more often than you think. It probably just didn't register and undoubtedly she just wanted to move on to the next however many patients she had to see. And no doubt she was probably already thinking ahead to how she would deal with some other patient farther along in the ward. At the time you saw her, she didn't even give what you were wearing a second thought. And even if she did give it a second thought she would already have seen two other patients.

 

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@mhart82 I only wear Depend RealFits at night for my bedwetting when not at home so not a lot of expreaince on the 'bulge'. However I'd say as others have most people out there are not even noticing. It is our perception of how our cloths look or sound (I have a fear of crinkle sound when wearing).

But having said that, I recognize that it is a concern of your. Maybe wear one size bigger pants\shorts. That should hide any perceived bulge and keep your privacy.

 

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Hi JT, just a quick thought here. If you're wearing Depend RealFit, I don't think they even crinkle. The material isn't the crinkly kind so I would be very surprised :O if someone noticed any kind of sounds when wearing the RealFit. I can understand your hesitation to wear something crinkly because we who wear, would perceive the crinkles then sound like a foghorn that announces to one and all!

 

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They do crinkle but only if you really make them. But it's too quiet. Nobody will ever hear it.

 

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Hmmm! Interesting! @Steven1980 Sort of like if a tree topples over in the forest and nobody hears it does it still make a sound? That's fresh from Philosophy 101! I guess if you really work at it enough a RealFit may crinkle but if you mess with it too much it would probably ruin the overall integrity and be easier to leak.

 

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That mbv made me laugh hard.

 

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Each time I have tried them they leak. I would rather crinkle with dry pants. Good if you drip, bad if anything else. Abena has pull-ups with no crinkle and definitely do better on absorption.

 

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OK, first post, and I might be necro-threading. My sponsor (I'm in recovery) had a radical proctectomy, and wears Depend pullups with a Depend Guard inside. I sometimes have to wear due to a neck and back surgery (both broken). I have to admit, at meetings, it is very, very (very) obvious he is "packing", lol. I wear a Northshore Supreme Lite, and there is zero bulge in my jeans. So, his attempt at being discrete with pull-ups is failing bigly. By trying so hard to hide his incon, he is, in effect, telling the world.

I hate to say it--but for me, a tape-on is actually more discrete than a pull-up.

 

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Xtrabulk I would have to agree. Or I guess I personally find I have much more security with tape on briefs than pull ups. I guess simply put I have way fewer leaks in tape on as compared to pull ups. At least that is from my own experience.

 

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I would use tape up diapers if I could put them on myself easy enough.I never can.I wear the Depend Night Defense Pull Up Underwear both day and night right now. They are good at protecting me from leaks and also conceal fairly well. No big diaper butt like I had with my Seni Underwear or other underwear brand.

 

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My incontinence issues started with bedwetting, so "Diaper Bulge" wasn't a problem. But now that my urge incontinence in the daytime is becoming an ever-increasing problem, I've had to deal with diaper bulge too.

When I could get by with just Depends RealFit pullups, it was not noticeable. However, I've been back in daytime diapers for a few months now, and I've had to adapt. For my work day, I "Up-sized" my slacks and went to a pleated type slacks. This covers my diaper bulge pretty good. I also wear plastic pants over my disposable daytime diapers to reduce "Diaper Crinkle".

If I'm dressing for casual wear, I'll wear the same diaper-plastic pant combo, but also wear a longer tailed shirt or sweater that I just leave hanging out. This past summer, we traveled out west on vacation, and restrooms were few and far between, so I used a booster pad inside my diapers. This gave me GREAT absorbency, but it REALLY swelled up when wet, so the longer shirt tails were the only thing that saved me from being obviously diapered. The last day of vacation, I ran out of disposable diapers for the drive home, and had to wear cloth diapers for the trip. Even these were hidden pretty well.

 

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Part of the problem is that we are sensitive about the issue, and know what we are seeing. I'm not sure how much the general public or colleagues notice. I concede the issue, however.
It think MikeD9876 is on to something. I would add that men used to live in suits - and suit coats tend to be long enugh to help with this issue. "Professional" we did, too (Wear suits with a coat), then it became acceptable for them to wear pant-suits, which still included a coat, depending on how formal they and/or their employer dictated.
Currently, I'm just using pads, but prior to this, I had to buy the first suit I'd had in 20 or 25 years, and when it became an issue, I noticed the difference in appearance, even though I always went for "relaxed fit", anyway. Wearing a long shirt outside pants was never acceptable to my employers, not even for women. Some women got away with long sweaters at certain jobs.
Thank you, MikeD.

 

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Excellent posts, MikeD and @AlasSouth, I've always been a proponent of longer shirt tails and sweaters, although the "fashion-istas" have probably blackballed me for life! But for me, comfort is the key!

 

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After about 20 years of wearing just about every brand of diaper out there, thick and thin, (I've worn some really thick ones) I gotta say that unless a person is wearing an insanely large diaper with inserts, or is creating a bulge on purpose, there shouldn't be any reason to have a giant diaper bulge. Some is to be expected. Noise is to be expected. But a regular bulge is not a problem and shouldn't be an issue. If the diaper and inserts are creating an unmistakable bulge that draws attention to that area then it is time to look at a different diaper. Too many people worry about the little bulge. No body cares. Be happy. Live life. Don't worry about the thoughts of other people.

 

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In the 5+ years i've been wearing diapers the only one I've had a bulge issue with is Better Dry. I'm sure it has to do with the distribution of the SAP which seems to be a huge amount in the lower front. I don't have any problem with the a "normal" bulge but the Better Dry's bulge is just enormous, no way it can't be noticed. I often add a pad to my other diapers but even with a pad the bulge isn't anywhere near as large as the Better Dry's. Otherwise I really like them but feel I can only wear them in certain non-public situations.

 

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Regarding employer's rules for work-place dress... I'm affected by those rules too. My job has me seeing several clients a day, and my employer requires a professional appearance, with tucked-in shirt and dress pants. Thus the "Up-sizing" my pants a size, and going to pleated pants. But even then, I use a thinner diaper under my work clothes than I do when I'm dressed casual, with my shirt un-tucked. This usually isn't a problem, since I'm usually near a restroom where I can run in and avoid using my diaper. But there have been a few times during the work week where I've had to change a couple times, because I didn't have the absorbency I needed.

 

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What I usually wear is a snug fitting undergarment over my diaper, especially if using BetterDrys. They make one piece incontinence body suits that work very well to hold diapers in place Sweatpants work really good to hide the diaper bulge. I'd much rather have the diaper bulge than leaving wet marks on furniture and chairs.

 

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For those of us that are married we have it easy because our spouses will let us know if anything's visible.
I keep it simple and use the Unique Wellness original brief 90% of the time because they're extremely quiet, "fit like a glove" and I can wear shorts (always dark colors) and t-shirt or jeans and no one notices.
With time I've realized that a quiet, good fitting briefs can be worn just like underwear and unless we bend over no one will notice.

 

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I was sitting in the garage talking to a neighbor last night, wearing a BetterDry under my Levis. When I stood up I felt a bit cool around the back side. As I walked to throw my beer bottle away, my wife gave me a look of "You better excuse yourself". She continued to talk to him as I stepped inside and changed my pants. It seems I sat a bit longer than expected and had the half moons of shame on my backside due to the hard stool I was sitting on. Partners definitely help CES97!

We had been working on demo'ing a block wall earlier in the day and I can say looking down a few times I could tell there was a bulge due to the type of diaper. Next time I wear that combo, I will work on that to avoid it. I have found wearing my wife's shaping panties, it helps hold the "pooch" if you will in a bit better.

 

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My wife has never told me that she sees me having diaper butt. Which is good! I think I wear my pants big enough to where the bulge doesn't show. Even if people saw my diaper bulge in public, hopefully they would just think of it for an innocent reason and not that I was trying to show off.