Diaper Bulge
- Thread starter Archives1
- Start date
Archives1
Staff member
All good suggestions here, @mhart 82. I wear pull-ups too and find that they are pretty discreet unless you wear the super absorbent or overnight style. I like the Prevail maximum underwear and also the Alyne underwear which is new to the market. I don't think Alyne is meant for really heavy super-voids but for overactive bladder issues I like them just fine!
I also wear relaxed fit jeans virtually all the time and that hides any bulges pretty well. Since I live in Florida I dress very, very casually and I also wear a longish polo shirt that just hangs loose. You can get away with that in Florida, y'know!
And then again, everyone here agrees that people are usually so busy going about their daily lives and just coping that no one would really notice anyway. I hope that helps you and do come back if you have more questions or ideas!
I also wear relaxed fit jeans virtually all the time and that hides any bulges pretty well. Since I live in Florida I dress very, very casually and I also wear a longish polo shirt that just hangs loose. You can get away with that in Florida, y'know! And then again, everyone here agrees that people are usually so busy going about their daily lives and just coping that no one would really notice anyway. I hope that helps you and do come back if you have more questions or ideas!
Archives1
Staff member
I normally just wear my diaper and tank top to bed. No shorts or anything unless we have guests over. I wear pull ups during the day that don't show too much I don't think. If people notice my pull up diaper under my pants they don't say anything. I haven't had a leak yet but hopefully my pull up will keep holding and not have an embarrassing leak.
Archives1
Staff member
Mostly, I'm using pads, now, but my observation is either it isn't really visible, or it is invisible to most anyone that doesn't have incontinence. Even gossips, who, if they don't know, will make it up. I like the idea of "relaxed fit", and longer shirts, which is what I usually wear, anyway. We might notice it and know not to pay attention to it.
A woman wearing a dress - as in with a skirt - might not show. Same for just a non-tight skirt.
A woman wearing a dress - as in with a skirt - might not show. Same for just a non-tight skirt.
Archives1
Staff member
Hey Steven1980, you're a poet and didn't know et! Glad to be of help! (I know that didn't rhyme but poetry is not one of my strong points!
AlasSouth I agree that it is invisible to anyone who doesn't have incontinence. And that even if we did notice, we wouldn't give it a second thought. Since you usually wear longer shirts anyway then you're halfway there! I started with the relaxed fit jeans some years ago when I knew that the regular straight-cut jeans (or whatever they are called) could have made things more uncomfortable, if you know what I mean! I just decided right then and there to give it a try and then I knew I had found the jeans I want!
Glad to be of help! (I know that didn't rhyme but poetry is not one of my strong points!AlasSouth I agree that it is invisible to anyone who doesn't have incontinence. And that even if we did notice, we wouldn't give it a second thought. Since you usually wear longer shirts anyway then you're halfway there!
I started with the relaxed fit jeans some years ago when I knew that the regular straight-cut jeans (or whatever they are called) could have made things more uncomfortable, if you know what I mean! I just decided right then and there to give it a try and then I knew I had found the jeans I want!
Archives1
Staff member
I've been wearing diapers since around may 2000. I've worn thin and very thick ones. Loose clothes and not as loose as I would like. I've never ever been noticed that I know of. The only time it has been plain as day is in a hospital gown and/or scrub pants in a quiet hospital room or hallway.while embarrassing, it was normal in that setting. Unless you are trying to wear the thickest and loudest diapers possible to be purposely noticed, there shouldn't ever be an issue or worry. Can it be stressful not knowing if your padding is showing? Hell yes! But its life. And who cares?
Archives1
Staff member
I work in a professional setting most days. My incontinence has me wearing Mega Max or similar. Rather bulky. I use a booster inside to help spread the load across the diaper a bit better. I will wear some form fitting underwear over it but inside of plastic pants. It helps hold things up and is a bit of absorbent material if there is a leak. Over that I wear an adult onesie. My pants are one size larger than needed and I try to leave my shirt untucked when I can. I always notice the bulge upfront. I never see the rear so not sure what that looks like. I did try working with a thong to try to help create the image of a crease hoping to avoid the dreaded diaper butt. Some especially heavy days by the end of the day I very much look like I have a second belly in my pants. It sounds odd but I started to fold a cloth booster that is kind of thick in half, and then I place that horizontally across the top front of the diaper. The bulge is usually below it and this along with the fitting underwear helps smooth things a bit so it is not belly, thin waist, diaper bulge quite a bad. It is an intermediate bulk that makes things look more natural.
Also, check out some big and tall stores if it works for you. There is one here that helps find harder fitting men some clothes at work. I had to eat my pride and talk to the lady there one morning. She kept pushing flat front pants on me. I pulled her aside while trying a pair on and let her know I need something to help conceal a diaper and as I was trying on pants she thought would be right it dawned on her what I was saying and it showed really badly. She was very understanding and patient and definitely did help me finally find a size or two larger, with pleats that help hide the bulk. She made a customer for life with her caring and helpful attitude while ensuring privacy.
Not sure this will help but it works for me most days and helps me not feel quite so self conscious. In the end it no one's business what is in your pants or not. I know that hollow at best, but it does have truth. For the most part, no one has said anything for the last 13 years. Maybe a few stares and a few awkward moments when a bad leak occurred, but most of my fellow employees are understanding if they know and have not made a deal about it with me. Who knows if they talk behind my back or not, but really I have given up caring. It is their problem, not mine if they do.
I wish you luck as you navigate this and please do let us know what works for you. Maybe we all learn something new as well!
Also, check out some big and tall stores if it works for you. There is one here that helps find harder fitting men some clothes at work. I had to eat my pride and talk to the lady there one morning. She kept pushing flat front pants on me. I pulled her aside while trying a pair on and let her know I need something to help conceal a diaper and as I was trying on pants she thought would be right it dawned on her what I was saying and it showed really badly. She was very understanding and patient and definitely did help me finally find a size or two larger, with pleats that help hide the bulk. She made a customer for life with her caring and helpful attitude while ensuring privacy.
Not sure this will help but it works for me most days and helps me not feel quite so self conscious. In the end it no one's business what is in your pants or not. I know that hollow at best, but it does have truth. For the most part, no one has said anything for the last 13 years. Maybe a few stares and a few awkward moments when a bad leak occurred, but most of my fellow employees are understanding if they know and have not made a deal about it with me. Who knows if they talk behind my back or not, but really I have given up caring. It is their problem, not mine if they do.
I wish you luck as you navigate this and please do let us know what works for you. Maybe we all learn something new as well!
Archives1
Staff member
Forsure all great options aka the onesie or depending on region of where you live. In fall/winter/spring in Calgary Alberta where I live I always like the option of wearing a sweater pull over and worse comes to it I can always take off the pull over and just tie it around my waste if I have leaked. Lol.
Honestly this for the most part we are our own worse enemies thinking it’s way more noticeable then it is and other people are too caught up in their heads to even really notice or even pay attention. Just based on my experience. Just get a pair of pants not too tight fitting and people will not notice it. I have done lose fitting jeans with Garywear plastic pants over top and abena m4 underneath with a great bulge at some points and no one has ever said anything. Granted I really wouldn’t care; it’s my new reality and have to make the best of it and make everyday count.
Honestly this for the most part we are our own worse enemies thinking it’s way more noticeable then it is and other people are too caught up in their heads to even really notice or even pay attention. Just based on my experience. Just get a pair of pants not too tight fitting and people will not notice it. I have done lose fitting jeans with Garywear plastic pants over top and abena m4 underneath with a great bulge at some points and no one has ever said anything. Granted I really wouldn’t care; it’s my new reality and have to make the best of it and make everyday count.
Archives1
Staff member
Hey Jwh51, I like the idea of wearing a sweater but you can get away with it in Calgary but definitely not in Florida! It just isn't a sweater place! I do have a couple of sweaters lying around but in the years I've been in this part of Florida (since 2003 and the previous 16 years a bit further south) I may have worn a sweater five times total! And I've always liked wearing sweaters as I used to live in Pennsylvania and New England! And yes, if worse comes to worse you can always tie a sweater around your waist. Actually I have just a lightweight jacket that I like to wear in cooler weather so that does help. Also any more I just don't give a whoop-te-do if other people notice I may be wearing something other than regular underwear. It's not a big deal to me. After all, I do it for my comfort not for somebody else's!
And wetdad, I don't think I've ever noticed any stares or otherwise awkward moments since I've been taking care of this issue of mine. Most likely I've been too absorbed in doing my own thing. If your fellow employees talk about it behind your back, what on earth would they be discussing anyway! Are they so perfect? They need to get a life! As you say it becomes their problem and not yours. You don't have a problem because you are taking care of things as best you know how!
And wetdad, I don't think I've ever noticed any stares or otherwise awkward moments since I've been taking care of this issue of mine. Most likely I've been too absorbed in doing my own thing. If your fellow employees talk about it behind your back, what on earth would they be discussing anyway! Are they so perfect? They need to get a life! As you say it becomes their problem and not yours. You don't have a problem because you are taking care of things as best you know how!
Archives1
Staff member
For me a good mirror is all I need! I usually use a Better Dry or Supreme with a small doubler in front during the day and I use the Kins Taffeta pants Over top to keep things from shifting around. Combined with some loose shorts and a long tee I rarely give it a second thought. For Hospital days I always throw on a Mega Max, you just never know how long a quick procedure might take! With these I usually do a double check with my wife just to make sure everything is where it’s supposed to be!
I find it funny that it’s become almost an event to wear long pants for me. Since moving from Chicago to Raleigh 4 years ago, I’m always comfortable just throwing shorts on unless it’s our 1 week of snow for the year. When I do work right now it’s on a computer and nobody can see me anyhow. At the end of the day I’m honestly about beyond caring after this being my underwear for over 25 years. I do my best to not stand out, but as I’ve said it’s the cost of surviving in my case so if someone is that intent on my underwear it’s their problem!
Have a great day out there!
I find it funny that it’s become almost an event to wear long pants for me. Since moving from Chicago to Raleigh 4 years ago, I’m always comfortable just throwing shorts on unless it’s our 1 week of snow for the year. When I do work right now it’s on a computer and nobody can see me anyhow. At the end of the day I’m honestly about beyond caring after this being my underwear for over 25 years. I do my best to not stand out, but as I’ve said it’s the cost of surviving in my case so if someone is that intent on my underwear it’s their problem!
Have a great day out there!
Archives1
Staff member
I wear better dry 24/7 which is a fairly bulky diaper. Either compression shorts or a compression onesie will flatten it right out. Underworks on amazon has amazing compression body suits (they call it a compression bodysuit girdle, i have the ones with the snap crotch) that will drastically flatten out a diaper. it takes some getting used to that level of compression though. They also drastically silence any crinkling.
I only care about this at work or around people I know. running weekend errands I'm crinkling down the aisles of the store with my diaper under gym shorts.
I only care about this at work or around people I know. running weekend errands I'm crinkling down the aisles of the store with my diaper under gym shorts.
Archives1
Staff member
My advice re bulge is to always go a size up when it comes to trousers/shorts etc. I've been doing this since using protection and I've never had an issue. The main issue I've found with regular taped nappies is the inevitable rise above trousers (jeans are the worst for this). I've combatted it with baggy t-shirts and jumpers but it is an issue. Recently, I've found that tying a jumper around your waist or wearing a jacket really helps to eliminate this.
I also think a lot of it also comes down to how you walk. When I switched from guards to pull ups and taped nappies it certainly affected how I walked at first but have since gotten used to it and walk normally. I think confidence also plays a big part.
When I was in hospital, a doctor was talking to me about my incontinence and how I was managing it and I explained I was using 'pads with tapes' (as I was too embarrassed to call them what they are in a ward full of people!) as they were easier to change in public toilets, there was a bigger 'catchment area' as it were and they also covered me for any IBS flare ups. I was lying on the bed and noticed that my nappy was considerably peeking up above my jeans but considering the topic of conversation and the fact the curtain was drawn wasn't that concerned. She said - 'right, so you're using pads which stick in your underwear and that's working for you?' I was too embarrassed to correct her and surprised she hadn't noticed the white stuff above my jeans so just said yes. What I learned from that is that even when it appears obvious, people don't often notice and we often worry too much.
I also think a lot of it also comes down to how you walk. When I switched from guards to pull ups and taped nappies it certainly affected how I walked at first but have since gotten used to it and walk normally. I think confidence also plays a big part.
When I was in hospital, a doctor was talking to me about my incontinence and how I was managing it and I explained I was using 'pads with tapes' (as I was too embarrassed to call them what they are in a ward full of people!) as they were easier to change in public toilets, there was a bigger 'catchment area' as it were and they also covered me for any IBS flare ups. I was lying on the bed and noticed that my nappy was considerably peeking up above my jeans but considering the topic of conversation and the fact the curtain was drawn wasn't that concerned. She said - 'right, so you're using pads which stick in your underwear and that's working for you?' I was too embarrassed to correct her and surprised she hadn't noticed the white stuff above my jeans so just said yes. What I learned from that is that even when it appears obvious, people don't often notice and we often worry too much.
Archives1
Staff member
Exactly sci fi fan. People are to oblivious to even what is right in front of them. It’s most of the time only in our heads and we are super anxious about it until we finally accept them and just not care and then it’s truly amazing how freeing that moment is. And that’s when we realize how anxious we were about basically nothing.
But that is so easy to say once one has accepted it. And if not the anxiety is crippling surrounding it. And it’s truly we just need to realize most people are too self absorbed to even notice and our minds are masters of playing tricks on us is the unfortunate reality. We are our own worst enemies!!
I am sure most on this forum would support my claim here especially if they are seasoned wearers lol. It’s the novices that really struggle but I can tell any novice it does get much better and easier. Especially when one accepts it.
But that is so easy to say once one has accepted it. And if not the anxiety is crippling surrounding it. And it’s truly we just need to realize most people are too self absorbed to even notice and our minds are masters of playing tricks on us is the unfortunate reality. We are our own worst enemies!!
I am sure most on this forum would support my claim here especially if they are seasoned wearers lol. It’s the novices that really struggle but I can tell any novice it does get much better and easier. Especially when one accepts it.
You must log in or register to post here.
