Very lost

Hi @Exhausted, I can understand how you feel about going to the doctor especially if he's been you family doctor for a long time. Sure it's embarrassing to tell the doctor about your most intimate problems but he (or she) has heard it all before from a lot of different people. When you go to the doctor, do take the nurse into your confidence and tell her how you feel about all of this. She will understand and will probably offer you good advice.
I do understand your hesitation. It's like you're standing by a lake or an ocean and you know the water is cold. But everyone around you is urging you to jump in. You take the plunge and for maybe a minute or so the cold water is a shock but then you begin to get used to it and it isn't so bad anymore. Talking to the doctor about incontinence is kind of like that. It's a shock at first but then you warm up and just go ahead with what you need to say.
All of our systems in the body can malfunction and the urinary system is just one of them. I know you probably feel that you're alone with this problem, but truth be told, you are far from being alone! All of us here on the forum have varying degrees of incontinence and it is really nothing that needs to cause you a lot of stress and anxiety. There is plenty of help available. And we are here so you can be open in talking with us. As they say, we've "been there, done that!"
One thing I've realized is people who have our type of issue tend to develop more compassion and are more understanding of other people who face various issues so it isn't necessarily a bad thing altogether. If you're in school, there are probably quite a few others you know who face your problem.
I hope you consider going to the doctor as soon as you can to rule out any physical problems such as bladder infection or diabetes, though. If there is a problem it would be good to get it diagnosed and treated as soon as possible.
As for pull-ups, if you try local thrift shops you may find some that are not too expensive and you can try them out. Or go online and look up incontinence supplies and the companies may be able to send out samples.
But the main thing is, you are not facing this with no support. There's plenty of it for you! You have taken that important first step in reaching out to us and we will be there for you every step of the way!
 
Exhausted, If you've had this issue all through your childhood, there is a chance that you may always have it. I know that's something that no young person wants to hear, but there IS a small percentage of people who never out grow bedwetting. I wet the bed all thru my childhood, until I was almost 15. I remember when I was 14, the doctor told me that a person's bladder was fully developed by the time they reached their teens, and that I might always have the problem. In my case, I did finally become dry by my 15th birthday, but have always had occasional bedwetting issues, which are now becoming more frequent as I reach retirement age.

Now while all that sounds negative, there IS a positive side to this.. There are a lot more products available now days to deal with this problem than there was "Back in the Day." Also, new medicines are always being developed, in addition to medical procedures that help many folks. The only way to see what will work for you is to see a doctor, or perhaps a few doctors.

I know it's embarrassing to talk to people about bedwetting. Heck, I have not talked to a doctor about it since I was 14 yrs old. Even after I "dried up" around age 15, I have always wet the bed a couple times a year all through my life. It was only recently that I decided to see a doctor about it, since my bedwetting has now increased in the last few years to the point that I now wet about once a week. But you know what I found? ALL the doctors I've seen about this only want to help... They're not going to make fun of you or ridicule you. So I would encourage you to see the doc, so you can get some answers and solutions, and go live a full and adventurous life!!
 
Gosh, peeps, your awesome, loving, supportive post makes me wish I’d posted an introduction when I first joined! I lurked for two years before making any kind of appearance and I’ve still never really done an official intro - oh well! This forum is so amazing and I’m grateful to be a part of it! Thanks, all y’all!

@Exhausted Here is a link to a post I made not too long ago. The info may help you with mattress protection. I prefer disposable mattress covers and I think you will, too, because they’re much faster and less expensive to get rid of than having to do laundry every day, particularly given that you’re sharing a bunk bed and room with someone. There are others on here who do prefer to do laundry. You have to try everything to find what works best for you.

Log In To Continue | National Association for Continence

forum.nafc.org forum.nafc.org

As for finding pull-ups in the UK, we’ve read here often that Tena makes the best ones in your region (though somehow, Tena in the U.S. are some of the worst available!). You are correct that all over the world, diapers and pull-ups protection are expensive - particularly for someone your age. It really sucks. I hate it.

One good thing for you in the UK is that your socialized government healthcare may very well provide you with pull-ups for free! Eventually, more members from the UK will see your post and help you with suggestions. The way healthcare works in the UK is extremely different from how it works here. Here are some active members in the UK:

@laalaauk
@emily91
@Sci_Fi_Fan
@physlink
@Dino
@John1967
@joanne777
@Twinkle
@nappyman
@Stevewet

I hope one, or several, of them can help you navigate the purchase of products.

Here’s wishing you the best with the doctor!
 
@Exhausted

Good morning!

Please have a lookie on Ebay, they have some good deals. Honestly a tabbed brief would offer better protection than a pull up and you can still pull them up and down like a pull up.

You need to drink fluids to keep you hydrated and keep the urine as neutral as possible, drinking less will leave you dehydrated and will concentrate your urine which will aggravate your bladder. Your GP can prescribe medication to slow down urine production during the night.

I would invest in a good quality mattress protector, Ikea from memory used to do good terry lined waterproof ones. Also, if you don't mind wearing them, plastic pants can offer additional protection through the night. You can take off as soon as you wake up and pop them in the wash with the sheets.

Don't suffer, you are not alone x
 
Forgot to say that the NHS won't supply pull ups but if you can present a reasonable argument for needing a tabbed brief, they might be able to support you. Only trouble with that is you will be expected to go through a few tests to see what is going wrong down there and you will need a referral to your nearest local authority continence service.

I must say that the continence teams are very compassionate in how they deal with assessment and provision but unfortunately takes years to get wheels in motion.

Schpock is a free app you can download and people around you put items they no longer need either for sale or for free like Gumtree. Just a matter of trawling through the adverts and rubbish until you come up with a bargain. You will see a lot of Attends, Tena, Abena, Hartman and I.D products around and are all fairly good for protection.
 
Fluids:
Plain clean water is your friend. Your kidneys flush toxins from you via urine stored in the bladder.
Any juice coffee juice tea or milk fizzy drinks and SUGAR which is in anything from ketchup to bread is a diuretic. So avoid these foods after 1 pm to avoid taxi g the urinary system at night.
 
Hi @laalaauk, What an excellent helpful post you have here! :D You really have the spirit of what makes this forum so special!
And @snow, I do agree that Tena's U.S. products are some of the worst to ever come down the pike, but they are supposed to be pretty good in the overseas markets. Don't know why that has to be so. For members from the U.K., go ahead and try the Tenas and let us know how you like them.
And please don't worry about not introducing your self when you first joined. You have more than made up for that with your very well rounded participation. As they say in show biz, you are the person who needs no introduction! :D:D:D
 
One measure of how big our problem is and how it has become accepted: Look at the big grocery stores. The entire aisle may be devoted to incontinence, the signs hanging from the shelves and ceiling say "incontinence", men's & women's are on the same aisle, and the shelf turnover/demand is high enough that it is a national big business. 50-60 years ago, that wasn't the case; it was glossed over, euphemisms abounded, it was all hush-hush. (Speaking from experience.) Sort of like cancer was "the C word". Now, store clerks don't even blink an eye - they just scan them as fast as anything else. I don't think I've even seen another shopper blink or comment.
Take heart - AND SEE A DOCTOR!
Stay safe, too!
 
Exhausted -
Of course I don't know what your circumstances are but I'll share with you from my own experience. My daughter (fourth child) wet the bed most nights from babyhood. We tried all kinds of things to "get her to stop", including spanking her, and getting a "princess" bed, but nothing worked. We were clueless as to the causes of enuresis. A neighbor-friend said my daughter lacked some vitamin! Finally, I talked to our family physician who told me about a pill that would probably work but there were side effects. So that didn't appeal to us.

One day I saw a magazine ad from a company who purported to be able to solve the problem. I contacted them and they sent a representative (a salesman) who explained their program and the cost was $400. In 1974 that was prohibitive for us. Later I mentioned the bedwetting to a friend who worked in the county social services department. She told me about a device that they had for rent for $25 that was the same thing as the program offered in the magazine ad. My daughter was 7 years old at the time and we moved a bed for me into her upstairs bedroom. When the alarm went off at night I woke her, had her wash her face and her bottom, changed the sheets (we didn't have the wet proof pads in those days) and I kept track on a graph how large the wet spot was, the time it occurred, and also if she did go the whole night dry. This whole procedure was to help her body learn to control her muscles while she slept. I slept in her room for about four months and she went two weeks dry so I moved my bed back to my bedroom. About 6 months later we moved to another town and we had to start over. But this time she was consistently dry after a short time.

Since those days she has only had 3 times of "accidents." And she is in her 50's now. Those times were after she had drank alcohol. Since the last time, 30 or so years ago, she is careful to not drink too much when she does have alcohol.
This was a big sacrifice on my part to help her and she was a good sport about it, even when she didn't want to get up and go through all the riggamarole.

I don't know if such a thing would work for you or if you would be willing to do it or if you have someone to help you wake at night. But it was worth it to us and it worked.

There are several devices available on the internet that are like this and all you really need is the pad with the micro metal in it connected to the alarm. Some have the instructions and a graph but it's all according to how much you want to pay for it. The bottom line is you have to be consistent.
 
Right on again, @ASlasSouth! I have never seen a single cashier or shopper even look twice if I had to go into a store and get supplies. You know when we began playing this game you'd feel like every eye in the store was on you! But not really! And with your mention of full shelves and aisles devoted to incontinence, it's really just business as usual!! And I never even heard a single comment other than "Howya doin'?" or "$15.95 please. ,,,Here ya go...Have a nice day!"
 
Hey Rita N. I remember seeing those ads in magazines and had always wondered just what it really was! So I'm not surprised it involved a salesman coming to your house and trying to sell this thing (it was an alarm, right?) for $400. Even here in 2020 that's a lot of money, at least it would be for me! I think it would have been maddening as all get-out to sign up for that program and then find out there was the same device you could rent for only $25! Glad you showed the salesman the door! :D
 
I had a Walmart cashier who was in her 20’s ask me how long a bag of depends lasted me. She apparently used them also and told me her lasted about a week. I told her she should checkout Northshore as their products were awesome. She was pretty happy to get the info.
 
@ritanofsinger I don’t understand; what was the device? Just an alarm clock? Why did she wash her face and not just her bottom?

Also, @exhausted said she already wakes herself twice per night and it’s not helping.
 
snow - go to www.webmd.com and see what it is and how it works. They don't sell them but you will be able to go from there to find a device that works. She had to wash her face because it is important for the person to get briefly, clearly awake. It's kind of like teaching your body a new idea. It's not a short term fix, it takes a consistent effort. And, it may not work for everyone.
 
Hi Snow, I may be a bit cynical here but that device is time-tested way for a company to rake in the cash! :( Outfits like that prey on people who are desperate for a cure and will pay anything (as long as they don't have to take out a second mortgage) to get the cure.
But all of that aside, it's a, well, er, thing (for lack of a better word) that is a sensor that's placed in underwear and connected to an alarm. It isn't a clock but just makes what would probably be a piercing noise. Most likely would wake the entire household!Once urine gets onto the sensor it gets into the circuit which triggers the alarm. Then hopefully you're on the way to the bathroom before things get too wet! :O
In truth that's something that is not worth anywhere near $400!
 
billiveshere and snow - The device is placed on the bed under your body or sheet not in your underwear. It's been 50 years since we used it, so my memory of the details is somewhat lacking. The alarm is not especially loud but does wake the person in charge and we could adjust the sound volume. The devices sell now for $50 and up so you have to read the ads to see what they offer and if there are customer reviews, before you make a choice. But with what I know today, if it works for you, it's a lot cheaper than the years of night pads and extra cleaning. If you've tried many other things which haven't worked then what do you have to lose to try one more. If bedwetting is caused by some accident or surgery then it might not work.

When I had a hip replacement in 2000 I could have chosen to just be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life instead. But one year for the surgery and recovery was a small price to pay to be able to walk.
 
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