Very lost

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Hi, I just joined this forum today and I really don’t know what to do. I’m 18 and can’t stop wetting the bed. I have a mattress protector and an extra one which don’t help. I really don’t want to go to the doctors but if there’s an anonymous one, I’ll go in a heartbeat. One way that I can avoid this is if I don’t drink anything the whole day and just have dry foods, but I just can’t keep doing that. Changing my bed so often is also tiring me out (I’m on the top bunk with a heavy, big mattress). It also doesn’t help that I have back issues and changing it is a huge struggle. Any tips?

 

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Just go to the doctor

 

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If you're female, let me recommend the Purewick system for night/sleeping use. Check it out on Youtube. My wife uses it and she is dry in the morning.
But don't put off going to the doctor. Also, you mentioned back issues. My wife is on a as needed muscle relaxant. Taking that too close to bedtime can open the floodgates.

 

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If it is something that just started you should go to the doctor. Maybe you could do a "virtual" online visit so it might be easier.
If its a problem you have always had you may want to look at other options to manage it. I'm sure people on here will give plenty of suggestions.

 

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You should see a doctor, and please don't go all day without drinking anything. That's very bad for your health. I hope you find a doctor who can help you find a solution to this.

 

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Does your GP surgery have an online web site? Mine has and has a symptom checker too so you don't necessarily have to speak with a GP but I can promise you, GP's have heard it all from light bulbs stuck up the anus to god knows what so don't be shy, they are there to help you at the end of the day.

 

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See a back doctor, sometimes bladder issues start because of pressure from
Nerves around the spine.

 

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First thing: Don't Panic
Second thing: You have not done anything wrong
Third thing: See a doctor ASAP.
Fourth thing: Become a regular here. You are not alone!

 

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Excellent Stewart!
He’s right. Definitely want to make sure it’s not an infection causing the trouble. They can be bad news if left untreated.
Welcome to our little corner of the internet, glad you are here and glad you reached out!
Jim

 

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@Exhausted Hello! You sound like me, except I don’t have a bunk bed; I have a queen and a king bed. I have Neurogenic Bladder, because I fell down a cliff and severed all the discs in my lumbar spine and most of my bladder nerves at the same time, too. Changing my bed is such a huge, painful task for my back which no longer has any disk material and is self-fusing (scoliosis). There’s no way to avoid bending and twisting when bed-making, alas. I wish I had a man to do it for me or with me - or a maid! But I have to do it.

Are you wearing diapers/pull-ups? I recommend them. I also agree with what everyone else has said here: make sure to go to a doctor(s) because something very serious like MS could be going on, or bladder or cervical cancer. Those diagnoses are unlikely; it’s much more like likely you’ve hurt your back in such a way that it’s affecting your bladder nerves (which connect your lumbar spine). Best to get a professional diagnosis. Let us know how it goes. Welcome to the forum!

 

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Please go to a doctor or use an online doctor if that is an option. They will not do invasive stuff they will check urine and maybe blood test.
Are you a man or woman? This will help us speak with you as we continue to be your listener in this forum.
People here have incontinence for a wide variety of reasons please remember that
For some it wasa childhood trauma, some an injury some an illness or chronic health condition like diabetes. For some its a matter of weak pelvic muscles or pinched nerves.
In the meantime gett some towels and an old pillowcase or sheet to put between your legs to act as n absorbent. Yes they will need washing daily. Wash own the atresia covers with what ever cleaning product you have at home to keep mattress from smelling.
If you have a relationship with your parents this is the time to bring it up and enlist their support.

 

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Hi Exhausted! Welcome to the forum.

First off as much as you think you are helping yourself by not drinking you are not. Most likely by doing that at the very least you are irritating your bladder more by forcing your urine to become more concentrated which your body won’t like.

I did love Stuarts’ post above and agree 100%.

Not sure why you are so concerned to go see the doctor? If you think you are a weirdo and the doctor has never seen or heard this before you are completely incorrect. It took me a while to finally understand this Doctors have basically heard it all. I thought I was a freak because I had to speak to a doctor to get erection drugs because I just couldn’t keep it up and I was like 25 and thought wow I am such a weirdo. Looking back at that makes me just laugh. How little did I know back then. I am one of those unfortunate soles who has been diagnosed (at age 36) with relapse and remitting MS (Thank god for that type as opposed to primary progressive). Which was 3 years ago and by the time I was diagnosed I basically couldn’t walk anymore, bedridden for 1.5 months puking my guts out and had numb feet for 4-5 years without telling anyone. My mri lite up like a Christmas Tree in the ER. Doctors thought I couldn’t talk - that’s how scary my mri’s looked. Fast forward to today I am very happy to say I recovered like 95-98% from where I was in the ER. However today I basically wear diapers 24/7 just to avoid incidents. I am very lucky I don’t have any overnight issues at least not yet lol.

I came out of a major depressive episode and still taking an antidepressant (Cymbalta - which I have to thank for saving my life as I was in that bad of a spot), taking merbetriq to help my bladder out, Tecfidera an MS new drug supposedly to help stop relapses, 2 inhalers for asthma, bio-identical hormones, and vyvanse for adhd. And then cialis or viagra for ED.

Back to the people above who said you should get checked by a doctor because urinary symptoms sometimes are just hinting of a possible way larger problem are totally correct unfortunately. Hopefully it isn’t in your case and you just tweaked your spine somehow.

You should be able to say anything and everything to your doctor because if you don’t you are honestly just hurting yourself and preventing them from actually treating you because they do not know the full picture. I am trying to give you the confidence to just open up to a doctor and let them help you!

I am very glad you found this forum as that is a great step as most people here are non judgemental and here to help. I have done so much counselling to straighten out my thinking and honestly learning to slow down to the speed of live and enjoy the small things as I don’t know what will happen in 5-10 years just with my MS diagnosis.

First off you should go see a doctor. Not sure why you want an anonymous one as they have to keep your medical records confidential assuming you are legally an adult in Great Britain as opposed to a minor?

Another option for you to consider would be to wear diapers (I would probably recommend a full tape on brief if you could get away with it and feel okay putting them on; which I highly doubt you will be okay with as it has taken me years to just accept I need them lol; otherwise use a pull up like abena anti flex m3 at night as that would help you avoid having to clean up your mattress etc. However I don’t know if your are in dorms or common sleeping area since you are on a bunk? Just trying to offer you some possible solutions.

Come back and post on this forum if you have any more questions or want more clarification. Also sorry for such a long post!!

Look after yourself Exhausted and people are here like me to help you navigate these ‘special’ waters. It does get better. . With love and wishing you all the best sincerely Jason

 

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@Exhausted welcome to the forum.

@Jwh51 Jason, some great advice here.

Take care everyone, Phil

 

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Hi @Exhausted and welcome to the forum! I'm glad you took that big first step to let us know that you need help. This is the place to be! It's safe here and everyone is very sincere about helping.I see you're from Britain and a lot of our members are also from there and they all make very welcome contributions here.
The first thing I saw in your post is you're not drinking anything all day and eating just dry food. Exhausted, please, please, please, don't do that! As hard to believe as it sounds, NOT drinking anything will aggravate incontinence and could lead to dehydration which can cause complications in itself. Urine becomes much more concentrated and that irritates your bladder so please do yourself a favor and drink normally! I know what you're thinking that if you drink more you will "go" more. Yes, but that's okay. Your body needs to do that since it's a normal body function.
And by all means, go to the doctor just as soon as you can. We need to rule out anything physical such as an infection or diabetes or any other malady that could be going on. Don't stress out about what to say. The doctor has heard it all before and is trained to help patients with your issues. So please don't let potential embarrassment keep you from going.
Are you daytime incontinent or is it only at night? Wear something absorbent such as pull-ups or nappies. @Jwh51 has some good suggestions. They come in all sizes and all absorbencies so you will have a choice. It'll seem strange at first but the fact you won't have to change sheets so often will in itself be worth it.
And perhaps most important, please know you are not alone, it is not your fault at all and you are most welcome and hope you become a regular contributing member!

 

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Hi Exhausted,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. I hope you are feeling less alone already because so many people reached out right back to you. I gave everyone 3 hearts because they all had such important and caring things to say.

I want to echo the advice to see a doctor. Something is unhealthy in your body, and you want to do all you can to correct it.

Also, I want to echo the advice to drink several glasses of water a day for the same reasons people wrote about above. I would add that if you do all of your drinking by early evening, it will probably reduce frequency and volume of nighttime accidents.

Maybe you could switch to the lower bunk to make changing your bed easier. Could you ask your bunkmate to help you?

I have a hard time changing my whole bed, so this is what I do. On top of mattress, I put a good quality waterproof mattress cover. On top of that, I put a regular mattress cover. On top of that, another waterproof mattress cover. Then bottom sheet. Then two washable chair- or larger- size waterproof pads, one on top of the other (You can get good ones at Northshore. Someone else got them at Target. There have been a lot of posts about that. Some use disposable pads.) Then the top sheet. Then blankets and bed spread. And I wear pullups 24/7. I never worry about my mattress getting soiled. If I sleep deeply and wake up infrequently, I may have to wash the pads and sometimes the bottom sheet. Otherwise, I just wash sheets as usual. This may sound like overkill, but it keeps my laundry and worry to a minimum.

Wishing you well, and hope we hear back from you.

 

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* I meant the top sheet, not the bottom sheet.

 

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Hey Exhausted,

I read your post and it sounds like you are in the same position as I was last year. I just want to say.

You are not alone.

I know it seems like you are probably battling alot of emotions right now, and trust me. It will stay with you for a while. But things will change for the better.

I would recommend going to a doctor/urologist. Write everything you want to say on a piece of paper, and then say it. If you can't say it - say as much as you can and hand the paper to the doctor. I know its embarassing, and I know I'm just a bunch of words on a computer screen - but you will get through this. Im 27, and teenagers, young adults or anybody is never prepared to walk up this hill.

In time, you will find ways to manage it and even cure the enuresis. I don't know you but I will say a prayer for you tonight regardless of if your religious or not. This shit sucks.

But you will get through it.

I don't know many companies that operate in the UK - but I would recommend trying some free samples of products, maybe even invest in reusable bed pads if that is too much for you to bear. I get it man.

Anyway, there is hope when you go to the doctor. And look for solutions online as well - there are treatment centers that center around enuresis - look into them.

 

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Just to reiterate what everyone else is saying. Don't beat yourself up, and don't see it as a personal failing. You cant control your body. Its not your fault. Even if others try to make you think so. you are not worth any less, because you wet the bed.

If it is really difficult to clean up all the time, just bite the bullet and do diapers. they are a lot more convenient, and there is nothing wrong with needing them. You have to decide for yourself. Once again, it does not make you infantile or immature to wear a diaper when you need one. In all honesty, it says the opposite. You will have to figure out your own way to manage this. If you do try diapers, keep trying different brands. some are better then others. If your wear a diaper and wake up wet. You need a better diaper.

Finally work with your doctor. There are confidentiality laws that protect you. a lot of the times they can provide you a solution.

 

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Thank you all so so much. I am so grateful for all of the advice and I now know that I can’t avoid going to the doctor, and I need to accept that. I’m going to set a deadline, that I’ll make sure I go to a doctor before November. Thinking about going is honestly making me feel so sick. I’m just so embarrassed and ashamed even though I shouldn’t be.

Just to clarify, I’ve had this problem since I was a child. It sucks so so bad. I went to boarding school for 5 years and I would be so scared to go to sleep. I didn’t think many people had the same problem as me. I didn’t know any way of dealing with it except having no liquids during the day. I would have water occasionally but I would never have water after like 5. The times I did have water after 5/6 I knew I would wet the bed. Those days were the worst. I just had 2 accidents last night and then I found this forum out of frustration, and I’m glad I did.

I have been searching for pull ups for a while now but I can’t find ones that aren’t too expensive. I wouldn’t mind using them it’s just I haven’t found any good deals. I would only need night ones because I usually aim to go before I need to during the day to avoid leaks. To try to minimise accidents in the night, I always aim to go just before I go to sleep and I have two alarms on - around 3 and 6, I’m a deep sleeper which does not help at all. I do wake up at those times when I’ve slept early but I am more likely to have an accident if I go to sleep early.

Ages ago, I searched up what drinks make you more likely to wet the bed and two of them - that I drink a lot - are fizzy drinks and cranberry juice. Is that really true or is it a myth? (Random lol )

I also just looked up the purewick system and I think it’s amazing. The only thing is I move A LOT in my sleep - not sleepwalking (top bunk), and I do also sleep talk. Unfortunately I’m not really sure if it’ll help in my case. Also, I’m a female.

I know this is a very long message (sorry) but I wanted to say a huge thank you again

 

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So glad you're getting the help that you need. So glad you have a deadline for seeing a doctor.

Yes, fizzy drinks and cranberry juice are bladder irritants for many people. So many foods I like that make incontinence worse. Bummer.