So, Who Knows?

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Hi everyone, hope your weekend is going well for you.

As I was making our bed this morning and was pulling to top sheet and comforter up high enough and arranging the pillows to make sure that my bedwetter pad was not visible I got to thinking about why I do that. I do it so that our kids do not see their dad's side of the bed is different than their mom's side. My wife of course knows about my bedwetting but our kids do not. It then got me to thinking who does know about my bedwetting and who do I hide it from.

For me my wife, mom and a few friends know I have bedwetting issues. So I was wondering about another people's experiance in who you let know. Do your family, friends, or who ever know or do you do all you can to keep your bladder issues (day or night wetting) from people all?

 

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My mom knows, and I’m pretty sure that one of my brothers knows (but only because Amazon doesn’t always ship in discreet packaging, lol). And then I had a girlfriend that knew, but she also had incontinence issues.

 

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Just my immediate family and doctors know. On a need to know basis for others.

 

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Hi Jaytee,

My kids know I have problems during the day granted they are ages of 10 and 6. My best friend knows along with our nanny and a few guys at my work and that’s about it.

Cheers

Jason

 

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My parents, siblings, doctors, and several need to know family members. It is not something that I go into detail with family about but most know I had major stomach surgery so they understand when I say that I am still having issues from that but not that it includes incontinence.

I live alone so I don't try to hide my stuff, but still shut my bedroom door all the time when changing and then I think, What am I doing.

 

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It's probably due to force of habit. Nothing wrong with being discreet. This may come in handy in case you have guests.

 

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I have had some girlfriends that know, a few others know that was close to me. I am pretty sure many others know and its not mentioned at least to me.

 

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I’ve told most of my doctors who need to know (for instance, I’ve told my PCP and OBGYN but not my orthopedic surgeon), my parents, a handful of other family members, several of my best friends, a couple of guys I’ve dated though I’m not good at telling them the full extent, and peers in a couple of classes I’ve taken called “Living With Chronic Pain” and “Living With Chronic Conditions.” Like RUHappy above, I also figure more people know than I’m aware of. I can imagine having to tell an HR person or boss eventually, yikes!

 

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My mom knows. My doctor and nurse knows. I once had a roommate that knew, but I haven't been in contact with him in years. If anyone else knows, they are polite enough to not mention it.

 

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My family, doctors, aides, and most of my friends know. I’m a pretty open book. My friends have been on my medical journey with me for the last 6 years. I hid it at first not even telling my mom. My incontinence stems from an accident. I even joke with some of my friends about my “fashionable underwear”. They saw my SPC tube when I had it and heard me bitch about it plenty. Some of my close friends I complain about my incontinence with. They are great people.

 

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That makes it easier when you have close friends you can complain to about incontinence. It's good to feel you have nothing to hide!!!

 

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Most people know I wet the bed and it's no big deal

 

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@Jaytee,
Good question.
Of course my wife knows everything about my urinary issues. Our adult son is aware that I have an urologist, but thats all. So far I have kept my catheterization private.

 

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I gave up worrying about it years ago. I don't try and hide my incontinence and enuresis now. I don't flaunt it but if people find out so what.

 

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Medical and mental health professionals, probably my housemates. The list continues to growing.

 

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Medical professionals, family, a few close friends.

 

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Had to share a hotel room with my Dad so he knows now and it was the most awkward three nights of my life. My Mum's much better and just matter of fact about it but he was very awkward and embarrassed. I wet the bed for years as a kid and had to wear nappies when we stayed away at one of his friend's houses when I was around ten so whilst I'm much older now I figure it's nothing we haven't been through before but yeah, very awkward. I guess the fact it's a 24/7 deal for me now makes it worse really.

 

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My wife and my mother in law knows. My said she needed someone to confide in when I started having bladder problems. Of course, I don't know exactly HOW long she knew, but I figured it out when we went on a trip together. I woke up (and had removed my protection) and was waiting for the bathroom. My MIL was next and asked me if I needed to go. I declined and told her to go and she said "Are you sure?". MY mind immediately flashed back to when I had a late bedwetting child and she would ask him the same thing in the morning. Confronted my wife and she admitted she shared the secret.

Had to share a hotel room with my Dad so he knows now and it was the most awkward three nights of my life...

I can relate to this. I shared a room with my family and my MIL on an out of town trip. She kept telling me that I did not have to be embarrassed every time I'd sneak off to the bathroom. Right before bed she volunteered to change our young child before bed. I told my wife to hand her one of my diapers. She opened it and said "What the hell is this!?" We all had a pretty good laugh afterwards. It was easier for my relationship with my MIL to just rip the band-aid off and own it.

 

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My wife of 31 years has seen my struggles and completely empathizes. Although a career nurse, she doesn't do her job at home unless its an accident involving blood rather than pee/poop. Many of my coworkers have known as well. I carry a "diaper bag" with me when I use the restroom. Currently, I change vertically in my office at work. I'm fortunate. I always try to be discreet in the public. I've had multiple embarrassing moments over the years. In stores buying a new pair of pants and wiping up the floor so no one would slip, going into a surgical supply shop in downtown Tampa to change after getting stuck in traffic, being offered a sample of diapers there so I could make it back to the hotel "dry-er." Oh the stories we all could tell.

All the events help me to own my story. I have a summary document I give to any new MD's I have to see. It is a summary so they don't have to review all my past medical history to see my bedwetting until my teens, scrotal tumor, vasectomy, palliative nerve blocks and epidurals, left ball-ectomy with concurrent OAB. Now coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my TURP. I don't get too embarrassed anymore, just transparent. It is Stockholm-like syndrome. I hate my captors, diapers that is, yet could not make life work without them.

In February, I had a reaction to prednisone. My blood pressure was through the roof and my mental status was altered. Looked like I was having a stroke. I informed the nurses I was wearing a diaper so there would be no surprise when the time came. No one blinked....except me.

 

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@lorumipsum Glad you could have a laugh about it! Yeah, I think you're right, owning it is a lot easier in the long run and I should have just come out and said it earlier but was so embarrassed. I managed to hide it pretty well when I was sharing a flat and would wear nappies for big IBS flare ups but it's a lot harder when it's a 24/7 deal and you're sharing a room so have limited privacy.

I think I'd be less embarrassed if it wasn't a parent. Feel like it's a chapter of my childhood that was done and dusted and now it's come back. It also feels different having to wear 24/7 rather than just at night. Having less control than I did when I was a kid is really embarrassing. He was super awkward as well whereas my mother is just matter of fact about it.