I'm losing control.. of my emotions

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I cant deal with the bedwetting.
I cant deal with the shame
I cant deal with the isolation
I cant deal with the humiliation
I cant deal with the urologist
I cant deal with the inconclusive results


I don't know what to do. I have lost all of my friends over the past four years due to depression. I literally have nobody in my life right now. My parents know about my bedwetting. Tonight, i finally gave in and reached out to a bedwetting clinic but who am I kidding - I can't afford it. All i do is sit in my apartment and feel bad for myself because i feel that im limited in things i can do. I havent gone camping, going on dates is no bueno "hey. Gotta go home", and because ive lived a life close to home - i dont go out and party like i used to.

I cant do it anymore.
I can't live like this.
Who would have thought five years ago when i had a decent head on my shoulder, friends to go out with, that years from now i would have diapers in my closet and a vinyl sheet on my mattress. And to top it all off i can't stop thinking of my abuse and trauma. Its like its all wrapped up into one.

Whats the point of living - if you witnessed your twenties get chained limb by limb, slowly year after year.

I gotta go,
Thoughts from a 27 year old bedwetter.

 

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Hey, knock it off! You're fine. Relax. Like I said in my message. RELAX. You are being forced to change your lifestyle. So change it. It seems big now, but it will become minor once you get the hang of it. It will get better but only if you allow it to. You will be ok. Your good. Relax.

 

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Im sorry. Im feeling horrible tonight. And its 100x when its just me and I don't have anybody in my life. Having to deal with stuff alone is even more difficult

 

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Listen to Stephen, I’ve lived it my entire life and I’m 51 now it’s really not that big of a deal once you realize there’s much more to worry about.

Make changes in lifestyle and slow down don’t look for instant results there is plenty of life to live.

 

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I get it honeeecombs, I really do. I went for graduating with my undergraduate degree to starting my masters and all of this happened. The last 18 months have been hell I went from just bed wetting to full on dual incontinence. All while trying to get back on my feet from have surgery I moved clear arcoss the country for a better life and this happened.....


But, I have faith in my Lord and savior Jesus Christ and his provision for my life. Suffering is going to happen it is how we handle that suffering that brings glory to God. Yea I suck to be going through this but I am not going to let anything from keeping me from being the man God intended for me to be. Faith is a big part of how I cope with all of this. It's my consent reminder that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God and I don't have to understand what is going on I just have to have faith that God is with me through it all..

I will pray for you and I hope you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this. That The God of the universe sent his son to earth to offer you salvation and a peace that I can explain except to say But God. Be blessed and know that I can get through this.

 

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Look friend, you may not realize it but you have good people here so you aren't alone.
Many of us have found a way to adjust.


With much of peoples lives being shut down due to covid a lot are feeling just like you describe.
But you have people here to talk to.
Nope life isn't fair. Thats a life truism.
Just keep talking, we're listening.

 

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Honeecomb remember you can private message anyone if you want to talk and are uncomfortable in a group. Some folks are older than you and have come to to terms with the body they were dealt with.
I hope we will respect the privacy of any conversations had in private messages. I would ask everyone to do so.
The only thing we are all pro at for sure is living with these conditions.
We all have broken down at times.

 

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@Honeeecombs,
Hang in there, I know we have to make some adjustments in life but you’ve got some friends here which is more than most have.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow. It gets better and I know you will be okay.

 

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Honeeecombs,
I am and will continue to pray for you. I am also a believing Christian, and can attest that God is good. If you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ, may I urge you to examine the Scriptures and talk to Him? I can't tell you why He has allowed this in your life or my own, or anyone else here. He may choose not to reveal that to you at this time, or ever. That doesn't mean it won't get easier to cope with, or to manage- and it certainly doesn't mean that your life is destroyed- because it isn't. The products available to manage the symptoms will also serve to help you cope emotionally. Believe me when I say that you aren't likely the only person in your world who deals with this.This is a much, MUCH more common issue than most people realize. I don't go around telling people in my world that I wear diapers, but some have found out. To look at me, no one would expect I deal with this- even I am surprised by it and I have dealt with it since I was your age... and no one- not one single person, has ever dissed me or been anything but respectful about it. Hang on TIGHT- it does get easier. I promise.

 

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Well, you deservedly got a lot off your chest, a lot. You def need human interaction and to become a new person

See if there are any gruops locally that get together and do things. Dont drink alcohol, caffiene, or eat chocolate. Stop anything that make you over produce urine. Young diabetics, like 5 or 6 years of age have to learn that and it becomes what defines them and they do well. Control as much as you can, seek new hobbies, continue to reach out to us and see new doctors. Some that i saw that were highly rated hurt me...several times. Results are what count.
I have crapped pants, filled diapers with urine, had surgeries, had pain but I find things that make me happy.

 

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And dont let any of us tell you that "you have us to lean on" and think that is enough for you. We ARE here for you and we do know you need people physically around you . We get that. Tomorrow will look better, buddy

 

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Thank you guys.

Im sorry.
I dont know
I just feel alone.

I apologize guys

 

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No need to apologize weve all been down, really down.
Doug is right, you need interactions with real people and this is an isolating time in America history, unfortunately. But we are real people and we really are here. Tomorrow is another day.

 

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No apologies. If you can't say 'I need someone' or I need help / to talk,' then we aren't doing what we were put here for. And don't feel ashamed, either.

 

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None needed. Absolutely none needed. It may be your turn to listen to one of us next

 

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I feel really bad for you. I will pray for you and please remember that you have all of us here. You are not alone. There's no shame in reaching out. This is a difficult time due to the virus. I wish there was an online support group for you so that you could at least see other people and talk.

 

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Hi Honeeecombs, Please don't feel alone, because you're not. With us to listen and help you we will get through this together. It's good you're reaching out and that's a good sign you want to sdo something about your situation. everyone in this forum is here for you to reach out to! You have us and we have been through what you're going through and trust us, it's going to be alright. YOU ARE GOING TO BE ALRIGHT. We'll help you get there. After all that's what friends do. Friends don't abandon in an hour of need and you have us. Please remember that.
A lot of good suggestions here and I agree with what Maymay says in that you need interaction with real people but these times with all of social isolation going on these days it's especially rough on all of us. You are interacting with us. We are the real people who will help you and we are as close as your computer.
And there is absolutely no need to apologize. After all, you're human and there is no shame or weakness in saying "Hey, I really need someone to talk to."
There are times when I've felt alone but reaching out like you are doing is the best way to deal with that lonely feeling. I have gotten a lot of good from this group and talked to some amazing people. That will be how you will see it as well. And please know that whatever is on your mind, you do know we're here!
And you know something? All of those limitations you are imposing on yourself are of your own making and can be taken down. You have the power to do that! We'll encourage you.
So please regroup and think about that. Talk to you later!

 

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Honeeecombs,
To varying degrees, we have all had difficulty adjusting to our new "normal." Fact-finding and action, in dealing with our incontinence, is what brings peace of mind. Understanding that it's a medical issue, not unlike bad knees or diabetes, brings back that self esteem and confidence. The good people in your life really don't give a rip, once they understand your (our) condition.

That said, you are very ready to stop the leakage (rather than dealing with it) and get on your way to having normal days again. Without addressing other alternatives that are different in performance and comfort, I will suggest that you try a soft silicone external sleeve device that an engineer partner and I now have patent pending. After five years of development and volunteer testing, we hope to license it. It's not for sale yet and so you may join our test group and offer your own feedback. Ultimately, a little research and some action will help you return to the "good" days. For much more info, contact me at: amhelp@comcast.net Best wishes to you. Fynlee

 

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@Honeeecombs I am so sorry you are feeling so down and isolated. I think a lot of us have been there too.

First of all, you mentioned 'abuse and trauma.' Have you ever had counseling to deal with this? If not, I strongly suggest you find a professional who can help you to figure out that part of your life.

I'm not a Dr, but I think you are depressed and would benefit from medication to treat it. Untreated depression has all kinds of physical consequences which might make your condition even worse.

Also, totally unrelated to incontinence, our country is in unprecedented times due to the pandemic and politics. These two issues alone are so depressing to me, I can barely function some days.

Hopefully you can find a professional who can guide you through your past and help you find a healthy way to approach your future. I also think being outside is a great antidepressant. I wear a diaper while I ride my bike, when I go camping, while I walk my dogs, while I hang out with my friends, (physically distanced) and when I go to bed every night. Involuntary wetting is not a great situation, especially at your age, but you will learn to handle it and no one else really needs to know about it.

There is so much of your life you can still live while wearing a diaper. When you look at the big picture, wetting a diaper is nothing compared to being paralyzed, fighting cancer, or any number of other medical conditions. When we accept ourselves and learn to handle whatever unfortunate circumstances we were dealt, life will become a much happier place.

I wish only the best for you!

 

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I think we can all agree that it took courage to reach out for help. It takes strength to admit when you're weak. So guess what? You are stronger than you may realize. You're not afraid to ask for help. You had the courage to admit a weakness or weak point in your life. Faith to believe that things will get better. You might not know it but when you put all those together, you have a recipe for success.