Alana, I just wanted to share something with you in hopes that you view yourself and PTSD differently. I have been diagnosed with PTSD as well, but not the same reasons that you have. My diagnosis was due to numerous botched surgeries by alleged experts my own true expert Doctors trusted. Now every time I hear they have found some other side effect from those mistakes the PTSD takes over and I really have to fight to figure out logically what I need to do, and how I need to do it while my body is in full Fight or Flight faze. No different than staring down the barrel of a gun in my face. PTSD “IS NOT” mental illness! It’s your mind and body going into overdrive to protect you! This manifests in many ways. In my own mind, I relive that gravel truck rolling over me again & again, my heart racing, blood pressure through the roof, cold sweats etc. Only through many hours of both physical & cognitive therapy can I recognize and minimize what’s happening to me. The triggers are many, but the cure covers them all, as it is the same just for you, my responses won’t work for anyone but me. You can fight through this, you just need the right people to walk you through and develop control mechanisms. It still creeps into me at times, but I can now recognize it coming and for the most part shut it down before it gets a grip. You will hopefully be so focused on getting better, you’ll no longer have time for this old recording to play over and over. The fact you’ve got a supportive partner adds even more to a positive outcome!
I wish you nothing but the best, we’re all here for you!
