Wetting getting worse

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hi im a 37yr female the last 2 years i had occasional wetting a few times a year,then it went to about once a week duing nightmares.The last 2weeks its been everynight full bladder load and resulted me now using disposable nappy pants. Sometimes its nigtmares as i was sexually abused when i was 14 for a number of years and then i got out of a domestic violence relationship 2years ago. I dont always have nightmares and sometimes im ashamed to admit i wet on purpose i think it makes me feel safe being in a nappy and my partner dosnt make me feel ashamed etc. I dont know if the problem is just psychological or if there is somethig else. Ive a 5 children born naturally and i gett like a dragging dull ache between periods. Ive already been tested for an infection this week that came back negative and i have a phone appoitment with a dr tomorrow im not sure what to say to them its a hard subject to talk about

 

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Hi @Alana, It looks like you're new here and welcome to the forum! It's always good to have new people stop in and tell us about concerns and questions and a lot of us will pitch in to help! A lot of the new people, in turn, stay on and give their advice and views to others whether long time members or new. And it's good to have people from "across the pond" join us as our particular issue knows no borders or boundaries.
It's good you've already had lab work for infections and that you're going to talk to a doctor tomorrow. Yes it is a hard subject to talk about especially to someone you may not know. But that in itself is an advantage since you won't be judged and the doctor can only go by what you tell him and what your lab work shows, especially if this is a phone appointment. At some point you may need to actually go into the office to have this looked into further.
Sure talking about incontinence is embarrassing but the doctor has heard it all before! After all in medical school the urinary system is studied just like every other body system. To the doctors someone talking about incontinence is "just another day at the office!"
And getting up the courage to say to the doctor what you told us in your post, well I look at it like jumping into cold water, like in a lake or ocean. It's a shock at first but after a couple of minutes you get used to the water and it isn't so bad anymore!
Finally you are doing steps to find out if this is a physical problem and that's a good approach. If there is nothing physical going on to cause your incontinence it may then be time to consider a psychological possibility. And that can be discussed later, if, as and when the time comes.
I hope this helps you and please let us know how the appointment tomorrow goes>

 

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My wife uses the Purewick system at night. It's an external female catheter system and she wakes up dry. Google the term. It's also on Youtube.

 

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@bob1 Does she have any leaks? Does she sleep on her side? Any problems/difficulties when shifting sleeping positions?

 

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Hi Alana sounds like you have many reasons to have incontinence. Glad you found a place on this forum to have people to talk with. All that you describe are things folks here have experienced.
You should get tested for diabetes but multiple children and sex abuse are certainly valid reasons to be dealing with this.
You can certainly can share with us here on any part of how you are coping. The abuse and psychology of how to overcome nightmares is probably best addressed by therapiists who help in that field.dictors arent trained to so they tend to not know what to say on it.

 

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Hi Alana,
Sent you a pm. Glad you are here. Sorry you have experienced those negative situations in your life. You are in a safe place here.
Diapers are not uncommon for some people who have experienced sexual or other abuse. Speaking to someone normally helps with these concerns though. Nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I certainly feel better after I had a chance to talk with someone when I was dealing with that.
Can really make a difference for folks in need.

 

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@Alana there are some great people here to listen and offer help. Hopefully, your doctor appointment will go well, don't forget that they have heard it all before, right from the incontinence through to abuse. Take care Phil

 

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snow...she does have infrequent leaks but I attribute that to catheter placement. She sleeps in a recliner and is only in the reclining position during the night. With the Purewick system, there are "weight guidelines" re use. I don't have the numbers but if one is "over" a certain number (300 lbs I think) or is under a certain number (85 lbs I think) the system is a "no go". It's not for pediatric use as well. My wife is in the 160 lb range. She periodically takes a muscle relaxant pill during the day. But taking one too close to bed time activates a night time peeing session. We learned the hard way. So no muscle relaxant use later in the evening. Her main problem is Parkinson's.
If anyone out there is interested in the Purewick system, don't be alarmed at the initial investment. There are up front costs for the catheters but I have devised a cleaning protocol that allows for reuse. I'm happy to share that. I used to work as a respiratory therapist so I'm very familiar with product cleaning and germicide use.

 

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Alana, welcome to this forum.
You should know you have not done anything wrong and have no reason to be embarrassed.
Tell your doctor everything that is going on and what your history is. Being honest may seem hard, but it is the only way your doctor can help.
You will learn to be more comfortable the more you talk about your situation.
Know you will always have people here who want to hear your story and will are willing to help.
Welcome to our world.

 

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@bob1 Thanks!

 

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I used to work as the Conseling Director of a domestic violence agancy. Individual counseling and support groups can be oh so helpful in providing a listening ear, guidance, resources, support and camraderie.

This is a good resource, and they can direct you to an agency near where you live.

National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today ...www.thehotline.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline can help victims, survivors of domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233. Chat w/ an advocate on our website.

Wishing you healing.

 

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She is in Great Britain but agood ideato look 8nto national non profit

 

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Thank you, Maymay. Very good idea. Most services in US are free.

 

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@Alana Just be open with them and honest. That's the only way they can help you. Sounds to me like you need some form of counselling. Wishing you the best.