Dr appoitment

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so i had my phone appoitment after getting negative infection results on lab tests when i went into drs for bed wetting everynight. Found it really awkward to talk about, have to go in for an examination appoitment next week as it may be somesort of prolapse linked to having 5 children. Otherwise it may be psychological due to abuse in past but they want to rule out physical first. My partner is being very supportive at the moment and im going to continue with the pull ups for now i know sometimes i wet deliberately which is bad but also kind of linked to emotional trauma but that dosnt explain the times i wake up not knowing ive wet until i feel it so hopefully get answers soon although a physical examination scares me. Thankyou for everyones help and encouragement on my first post yesterday x

 

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@Alana well done on taking the first step, cheers Phil

 

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Hi Alana,
Congratulations on the first steps. Don’t sweat the office exam, you will do great. Better to ensure there isn’t something physical going on. There are many good treatments or medicine that may help.
Hang in there.

 

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@Alana You're on the road to recovery. It may take a while to get there but you have made the first move and well done and good luck.

 

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@Alana if it's any consolation, I plucked up the courage to tell my GP that I have had enough of bladder pain and stuck a Foley catheter in and she was fine about it and has been really helpful.

I think sometimes we hold back too much and only go to get help when it reaches crisis point.

 

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Good afternoon, Alana, You have definitely taken that first step to helping yourself. Good going! By talking on the phone to the doctor you have made that plunge I was telling you about yesterday. But please don't sweat the physical exam part as the doctor and office staff have seen it all before and if you say how you feel, they will put you at ease. I'm glad you only need to wait until next week for the doctor to see you to make sure there isn't a prolapse or other physical cause. If there is, then we'll get that out of the way and you can move on to other things.
I don't think it's too early to line up a counselor or therapist to help you deal with the abuse you have suffered. You really deserve to get good help and to have someone help you deal with your feelings. I know it's painful to talk about things from the past that you feel ashamed of. It wasn't your fault and the therapist won't judge you. But a good therapist knows what to say to help you "come out with it," so to speak. Once you talk to the therapist, your feelings will probably come bubbling up to the surface, but that is normal. That's what the therapist is there for. When that happens it's expected, whether it's anger or sadness, or any other thing you're feeling. Seeing the therapist is a completely positive thing and although you may feel physically worn out at the end of a session, things will start to be a lot clearer in your mind. After doing this for awhile you will feel like a completely new person!
And of course, you still have us here! We are pulling for you all the way!

 

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Had another problem this time daytime. Was waiting for son to get out of bath so i could use the toilet i needed a wee but not what i would consider desperate. Was tidying up while waiting and started noticing tiny amounts of wee basically a drip at a time escaping to the point of having a visable wet patch by the time i got in bathroom. So worried this is going to happen when im out as especially on school runs as i have to wait untill i get back home for toillet. Dont quite understand why everything is getting worse.

 

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Just use a pad or pull-up. It’s always a struggle when waiting for others to be done in the bathroom for me too.

 

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@jrpoorman going to try pull up but bit nervous it will be visable through trousers

 

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Don't be nervous, honestly, they are very thin and if you wear generous fitting trousers, you won't notice at all. Also bear in mind, others don't have a habit of going round looking at people's crotches as they are busy focusing on their lives. Trust me on this.

 

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Ok so im on school run wearing pull ups for the first time outside of the house proud of myself for doing it beats wet trousers in front of every one i suppose x

 

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It can take time getting used to wearing protection. After 10 years, you become immune to it all. Just focus your mind on positive things in your life and try not to sweat the small stuff as they say. British stiff upper lip stuff. Have a good weekend.

 

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@laalaauk thankyou you have good weekend too.

 

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Good job Alana. Proud of you.

 

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Hi @Alana, It sounds like you're really doing a great job in taking care of things before they become huge issues. You're handling it well. As far as the leakage you described above is concerned, do bring it up when you see the doctor next week. I think once you get used to wearing the pull ups you'll begin to wonder why you haven't done it before! And you know it is so much better than worrying about wet clothes! There is really nothing to it and with the right choice of clothes no one you see outside of home will even have any idea. Everyone is just too busy going about their own lives to even notice. You will be able to just interact as you normally would. That said, it's a good thing that I'm a very casual dresser as I like to wear relaxed fit jeans all the time (my "uniform" is relaxed fit jeans, pull-over shirt and sneakers!) and those jeans are great at concealing what you have on underneath. Of course you can also wear looser fitting dresses and skirts so you have somewhat of an advantage over us guys!
Alana, I think you are going to be fine and you are handling this beautifully! Here's wishing you a wonderful weekend!

 

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Just want to say you guys are so amazing i feel 'normal' on here like were all in the same boat. Thankyou for the advice and support xx

 

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Most of us are in one way or another.
You are right, some wonderful people here and NAFC is wonderful for having this board.

 

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@alana
Good for you using a pull up.
I can remember those 1st few times leaving the house in a pullup. I "knew for sure" everyone else "knew for sure". Yup, nope. I have been in pullups daily for a number of years. At this point its like putting on "regular" underwear for me.
I believe people are too busy and unobservant to know you are wearing a diaper. Think about it yourself. Prior to you needing something did you check out everyone's pants/skirts etc around you and wonder "are they wearing a diaper?" Bet you didn't. So by default I would wager heavily with you neither is anyone else. I remember having wet spots (sometimes areas) in my pants before I went to a pad and then finally to a pull up. Trust me that sticks out, big time! I'll take my chances on the occasional person who figures it out vs. the obvious wet pants every time.
I don't want to discourage or depress you but until you can get figured out why this is happening to you, you are probably going to have times where you consciously and knowingly wet yourself. It may seem like the end of the world but it is not (as long as you are wearing something absorbent). Mentally it seems "wrong" but I have been there many times where you just physically cannot hold it any longer and it starts to come out (thinking of the example with your son in the bathroom). Sometimes for me I cannot stop until I am done. Its a really weird feeling standing or sitting somewhere and wetting yourself but I know for myself I am not doing it for fun, I cannot help it. I remember in the beginning it was really hard to adjust to that. Now after so many years I just kinda go "yeah whatever thank goodness for good diapers", find a place to change if possible and move on with the day/evening.
This may be another question you re thinking: "yeah but wont everyone around me know I just wet myself?" Probably not especially it there are no leaks to see. I have been in cars with friends or family where I said I had to stop to use the bathroom but I knew I wouldn't make it. Once we found the bathroom I used it to change instead. Try not to panic or make a big deal out of it and bet you no one is the wiser. Some of that confidence is based on experience. Once you find a diaper you trust then having accidents isn't so earth moving as it is when it 1st starts happening to you. (suggestion: if possible keep spares somewhere with you. That way if you are stuck and have wet yourself at least you are able to change) I also keep wipes with me to "freshen up" a bit. And I when possible I use baby powder (cornstarch based) with a diaper change. Keeps odors down I think.

 

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Hi Alana, guess what? You are "normal," a normal human, that is, and we all share the same boat!

 

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Hi Tim, Yes I do remember when I first started wearing the pull-ups and wondered if everyone out there knew it. No one has ever mentioned anything about it so I guess they didn't know it and they still don't! And like you, I've been doing it for quite a few years and it is my daily underwear. I'm thankful that they were invented and they do make things much more comfortable.
I know what you mean when you feel weird when you're sitting or standing and you're just going....and going....and going! That happens to me especially in cooler weather. Bladder spasms can and do cause some anxious moments for sure! For those times I wear something a little heavier or at least with a booster pad. But it remains completely manageable for me.