Hello friends!

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Small update for ya all. I have moved to my brothers house. I cant drive now so he does it all for me. My kidney function fell from 40 percent failure on peritineal dialysis so im on hemodialasis now. Twice a week. I stopped chemo and radiation. It wasnt working and making ny life worse. So i have about 4 to 6 weeks left to live currently. Who kniws, maybe longer or not. Lol. I am still strong in my faith in Jesus. I will probably not write again. If i do, it will be brief. My brother has instructions to do a final message to you all. Then delete my account or just leave it alone. My facebook is all cancelled and my youtube account. I dont do all that twitter tweet crap. Snap crap or other junk. Lol. But, despite being very sick, i am enjoying being out in the country. 5 achers to roam. Goat and geese to tease and bother. And i am shooting all my guns and all the ammo i have buult up. I am saving some to pass down to my kids and brother. Its hard to write between passing out. I sleep a lot but fall asleep during day without warning. Thats why i wont drive now. Oh and i get all the oxycodone and liquid dilaudid i want!. Which is a lot! Ha ha. Happy happy me!!! And lorazepam. Lots of that too. Hehe. So, i wish you all well. Oh and being on blood thinners, i bruise very easy. I have big bruises and hematomas all over my legs and arms and tummy. Yummy! They feel so good! I love a good red and blue and yellow bruise. Thank God for Northshore! I mean that. Without them and their great products and customer service, life would be a mess. Lmfao! I am ordering a mix of white, blue, black and tie dye mega max diapers in a few days. Cant wait for the tie dye. I plan to be wearing a tie dye when im dead. Just to freak out the coroner. Lol i might even put a snake in a can in the diaper too. One last prank. Lol. God will have to tell me how it went. So, goodbye to you all. My dear friends whom i have never met. Better friends that the ones i have met. You are all beautiful people. Special people. If you. EVER EVER question your purpose in life or wonder what good you have done or if you have made a difference in a persons life, please remember me. Remember how happy i was before death. Because a very large part was directly because of you all. Thank you and God bless you. May May, Juste, and a few others but mainly you two, you had a very special place in my heart. And though i'm soon dead in body, know that that place is still there with you in it. I love you all. ❤☺ goodbye....

 

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Hi,I really don't know what to say, I'm reading of what you wrote and I have tears falling from my eyes, one thing for sure God will be with you and our prayers also,may God bless you

 

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I do think of you Steven and sure enough you show up! God bless you and keep you Friend. He put you here to make others smile and i hope you do use that snake in a can in your tie dyes.

 

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God Bless you and I pray you will not suffer.

 

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You will be in my prayers Steven, I pray for a miracle. But if this isn't possible,, God must need another Angel.

 

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May God bless you! You have an eternal pain free spirit life to look forward to.

 

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I was wondering how you were doing, thank you for posting again, I want you to know you are truly an inspiration and even though we haven’t met you have made a difference in my life and you will be remembered. As I sit here recovering from shoulder surgery clenching my teeth for hours at a time because of the pain suddenly you post and show me that attitude and spirit means a lot, though your message while it is sad it is also very inspiring. Keep shooting and enjoy as much as you can, Godspeed. Richard

 

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Good to hear from you. Praying for you.

 

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Hi Steven, It's hard to know what to say but if there is any advice coming from me, I guess it would be to just make the most of what you can. Just enjoy being out in the country with your brother and the peace that comes with it.
A really special friend of mine and I have been praying for you all along. We have seen our prayers work for others and we will keep on doing that for you. You can be sure we won't stray from that. And I know you will continue to give it all you've got. And as for that one prank you have planned with the snake in the can and the wearing of the tie-dye, then hell's bells, go for it!!!! After all, why not???That defines the person who you always are, so give it all you've got!!! And with that, Steven, God bless from Bill

 

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I'm relatively new to this group and don't know you well, but your message is such an inspiration. Your attitude is amazing. May God bless you and keep you close to his heart.

 

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Sending you a big virtual hug from Budapest☺ You're in our thoughts.

 

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I too am relatively new to this group. Although I don’t remember seeing a post from you Steven, as I read your post last night, I was touched by your attitude. Hold on to Jesus. In the end our faith is all we have anyway. Stay strong and enjoy shooting. There’s really nothing better anyway.

Andy

 

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Hi Steven,

Great to hear from you and sounds like you are doing the best you can be given your unfortunate situation. You are still strong and awesome. You have been a great addition always on here and you will be missed. I wish you all the best and truly hope you don’t suffer. Thanks for being amazing. Enjoy shooting and I hope you make the most of whatever you have left. At least you are with your brother in the country and able to do what you want to do. My prayers are with you!!

Love Jason

 

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Steven, you have a great attitude. I hope that when it's my time, I can approach it with the grace and humor that you have. I will miss your contributions to the forum.

 

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Aloha Steven, I’m also new to this amazing forum, Peace be with you as you close this earthly journey with such dignity and grace And most importantly your Faith, that in itself shows the strength of your character and should encourage each of us as we continue our journey. Love to you my brother.

 

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Sending you love Steven. When it comes my time I hope I am as graceful. You will definitely be missed. Hoping for a smooth transition for you.

 

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I am new to this forum and don't think I have seen a post from you before - but it doesn't matter. I will be praying for you and hoping for a miracle. Your beautiful attitude reminds me to put keep everything in perspective. Best to you and your family.

 

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I had a family get together today. More cane than expected. Without named, I read all the heart warming messages from you all out loud. No dry eyes could be seen. I could barely read them through the tears. Lol. Thank you all. Im still kicking ass. I wrote letters to my 4 boys and even my ex wife to be given later. I even bought their birthday and Christmas presents and wrapped them. My brother has them HiD away till the time is good. On their b days and Christmas. And my items I own worth anything either money wise or sentimental value and is boxed and labeled separate for each of my boys and brothers.
Remember, a full and glutenous person doesn't hunger for anything. A rich person needs not to rely on others. Some of the poorest people Ive known are the happiest. The most hungry are the most gracious for any food. Rich or poor, be rich in spirit. Fat or hungry, thirst and hunger to be a better person. Want for nothing, except for to give. Give expecting nothing back and count it as a blessing if you do get something back. Be happy. Be thankful. Be kind. Be your best. Give your best. Get God in your heart. Its ok to make a mistake. That doesn't make you a bad person. You can make mistakes your entire life and still be good. Just learn from them and let each mistake be a new one to learn from. Forgive those who hurt you. And even if you never hurt them, ask them for forgiveness. Be a duck. Let the water roll off your back. Stop carrying that huge bag of bricks that are things you haven t let go. Dont just empty the bag. Get rid of the bag itself. You cant carry your burdens if you dont have anything to carry them in. Be yourself. Not what others want you to be. Unless it makes you better. And LOVE YOURSELF! You cannot love others if you dont love yourself. This is probably my last post. (Again and for real lol)
If the world took your lead, the world would be a paradise. Go lead. And go while blessed. With all my love, goodbye.

 

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Very well written Steven1980. I couldn’t do any better myself. It’s somewhat startling to write your name and I assume you were born in 1980. Lol to close for comfort for myself as I was born in 1981.

You are an amazing man and my hat off to you as your last post was extremely heart felt and I was tearing up reading it. I am not sure if I could face an immediate departure with the stature and well spoken words like yourself. I know that there are a few angels waiting to guide you the way. May the end come swift with little pain or uncomforted as you are an amazing man and perhaps an angel onto yourself. I wish you all the best and may you be a shining light in the night sky as you are a powerful force unto yourself.

Peace Love and Well Wishes Steven1980 as I am honoured and privileged I got to interact with you on this forum. You are truly an amazing person and you made the world a better place for the short time you are with us. It’s too short especially for such a great person like you!

With Love and Huge Hugs. I will miss you greatly.

Jason.

 

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Good bye brother