Bedwetting Blues

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I dont know. Things have been quite dark lately. Especially in my social life; i feel excluded - i try to be kind but things just havent been working out lately. The Bedwetting is just making me feel worse. I'm almost out of briefs - i have bedpads to sleep on, I'm trying to get back to work - but my bladder problems have me in this constant state of self hate.

I don’t know what it is, i just can't stop thinking of my memories.

I feel like I'm 8 years old again. I just. I just don't want to be trapped in that body again.

I've made so much progress. Im smart. But im 27 years old and the past year ive regressed so much.

Idk guy's - its hard to explain.

 

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I hope that you can find your way through to better feelings. I'm wondering if something happened a year ago that make you feel like you've regressed. Thanks for reaching out to us. We're here on your good days and bad.

 

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Hi Honeeecombs. I’m sorry to read the despair and sadness in your post. The only thing I can say is that, in my experience, once I accepted the fact that I am a bedwetter, my focus turned from self-loathing to the practicality of dealing with the issue. This meant that I had to accept that I needed to wear diapers (and later, plastic pants). The woman I was dating then actually appreciated my thinking of her comfort when we slept together. Since then, my wife, who I met years later, totally accepted me in diapers from the first time I told her that I wore them. I haven’t looked back. Diapers are now a part of my life. I put them on at night (and more increasingly during the day) to serve a purpose...the same as I put on my glasses before I read. The only difference between diapers and a pair of glasses is how others perceive them. Those who can’t accept adults in diapers are the ones with the problem, not those of us who need them.
Through dissemination of information in forums like this, gradually, their use will become more acceptable.Until then, if it helps you, continue to search for causes of the bed wetting (there are many possible causes and, other solutions too, I.e. medication.) but know that you are not alone and that people here will listen. I wish you the best.

 

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Nothing makes this easy.
I started bedwetting at 15. It was not an all the time thing at first but it got worse over the years.
No amount of doctor's visit, tests, or medication ever gave me an answer. When I was old enough to put a stop to all the medications they were pushing on me if finally found myself again.

The hardest thing for us to do is to accept ourselves as we are.

To accept ourselves we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections.
We have to learn to love ourselves just as we are and not as we should be, because. none of us are as we should be.

A few of my favorite sayings/prayers are

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


"God loves you unconditionally, as you are and not as you should be because nobody is as they should be."---Brennan Manning


The hardest thing to do is offer grace to oneself. We are critical, cynical, and downright mean to ourselves. When we learn to be gracious to ourself we find the inner peace that will bring eternal happiness.

Grace and peace to you Honeeecombs. You are not alone.

 

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I totally agree with what has been said above. I wet the bed and have found the best way forward is to accept what I cannot change.

 

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@Honeeecombs Do me a favour and do a couple of things please....

Please go online and buy yourself a treat. This could be something like an Oculus Quest 2 or a really nice dress or expensive pair of jeans. Another idea is to get outdoors and go for a walk somewhere in nature. Be it in the woods or by the sea, take some deep breaths of fresh air and I can assure you you will feel better having done it.

I have been where you are and empathise with you. I wish I could take the pain away but my tips are the next best thing.

Have you ever considered cloth diapers for nighttime protection, in the long run, it might work out cheaper for you.

 

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Praying for you. Keep in mind that with on-going symptoms, there may be more for the urologist to work with in the diagnosis and treatment of your specific issues.
On what will seem like an unrelated topic, there has been a bit of talk on here about starting a Zoom meeting. I'm sure there will be people who wouldn't want to participate, but if we do move in this direction, this might be of some support to you. I will post notices on this site to get the ball rolling; it'll be a learning curve for me, but perhaps someone else is willing to orchestrate this.
Please stay in touch with this forum, and please don't give in to any idea of hopelessness. There is no one here who wants to see you going through this turmoil.

 

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Honeecombs - It's great that you have taken this step to be vulnerable - laying out your heart about your bedwetting. Isn't it also great that all these people aren't judging you at all but are giving you the best advice anywhere: Accept your imperfect self!

As ThatFLGuy quoted the AA prayer it's so true. I have the prayer on a plaque in my kitchen and following it has aided me in dealing with all kinds of problems, from family conflicts to political disagreements. It also helps me to not freely give advice on what a person should do in any given circumstance. If I haven't walked their path, what do I know what's best for them?

It's like my mother used to say, If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And that goes for this issue. If you don't know how to change it, do what you can and move on. Life is short. As that homeless guy in the 1960s used to tell people, Don't worry. Be happy!

 

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hi @Honeeeecombs, a lot of wonderful advice here and you do know that this is the place where people will listen to you and sincerely do the best they can in offering you help.
I like FlGuy's emphasis on accepting yourself as you are, and not worrying because you're not who you think you should be!!! Hey, the person who you actually are is a pretty awesome person and we will go with that! You have done a lot of great things and you're not done doing them yet! And those who know you and love also see you as someone truly awesome. You can pretty much take that to the bank!!!
I also like @laalaauk's advice to but something for yourself, something you've always wanted, you know, something that you will look forward to getting and enjoy the anticipation of getting it.
But I especially go along with the advice to get in the habit of taking a nice walk out in nature and breathe in the fresh air. I do that all the time! And you will be out in God's wonderful creation as someone also created by God. Trust that He knows what He is doing!!
Take this advice to heart and keep stopping in for a chat. We're all pulling for you!!!

 

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Thank you guys; you guys are such wonderful people.

I just had a really difficult and rough night - and thats when the dark memories and thoughts come back.

I have to move on from some personal things that have been going on in my life. And I know it will take time to heal.

Luckily, the daytime leaking is under control - so the spasms for the most part are gone. Sometimes I will have a couple days where it will be bad; but they are few and far between.

I will overcome these emotions. I am strong.

 

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Hey guess what @Honeeecombs? We all have difficult and rough nights once in a while and rough and difficult days too! So no one is immune! We are human! And the fact that you realize what is going on and that it will take some time to heal is half the battle!!!! Which I guess it means it's downhill from here!!! It's good the daytime leaking is under control and there's some progress right there! And you're allowed to have a bad day here and there! We alldo! But the fact they are few and far between for you is a significant improvement, don't you think so?? No one said it's going to happen overnight but happen it will! So just keep on plugging and persevering and do the things you need to do to take care of yourself. And you know, no one is perfect. And even if they were you wouldn't be able to stand them anyway!!! I've known people who think they are perfection personified and I never could stand them! And those I most admire are those who have human imperfections and recognize it for what it is and do what we have to do!!!