Should I even try to make it?

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For years I have been mostly spamming but still able to make it about 80% of the time. Lately I’m having much shorter notice and only making it maybe 40% of the time. Im wearing diapers so would it be bad, lazy, whatever, to just not even try and make it? Just accept the issue and never fret about getting to a bathroom?

It feels like giving up but every time I try to make it and come up short I feel angry at myself and humiliated. Ive been dealing with this for 5 freaking years now and can’t get past it.

 

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If I know for fact I won't make it I just let it go. Sometimes I'm so far from restroom that it not worth the trouble of trying to hold it. I also have problem of starting right when I'm dropping makes bigger mess than if you just let go.

 

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@Newbie2this I'm 72. My 52-year-old daughter knows of my condition. She also knows how frustrating the urgency issue is for me. She once said to me, "Dad, if you gotta go just go in your diaper, that's why you wear it."

Yes, as annoying as it is, and assuming you've done as much as can be done medically, I think you said it, "Just accept the issue and never fret about getting to a bathroom?"

The ones who love you are the most important people in your life.

Hang in there for them.

 

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Have you looked at all the medical remedies for your situation? Like male sling, artificial sphincter, etc?

It has not even been a year for me yet and I am improving, so not looking at other options for a while, but just watched a webinar on male sling and how it works by intentionally creating scar tissue to hold the bladder up and using a sling until that can form. It is supposed to be much safer and effective than female sling procedures, which they have had issues with, but are making progress there also.

Just a thought.

If you can mentally not worry about it, then maybe that is the way to go. I think I would look at medical solutions, if there are any for your situation, as my next alternative, but there are many factors and I don't know yours. All procedures do have risks. The male sling procedure is supposed to be pretty low risk. Just my thoughts!

Hope you find your solution! Maybe you already have!!

+God+bless+

 

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In my mind, the incontinence product is there to prevent wetting myself and my environs and I don't use it for convenience, but my problem is neurological in its origin. That is to say that my bladder does what it wants to do when it wants to do it. So, if I feel the urge to urinate, I usually have the time to get to a bathroom and I don't take chances. For years I was able to get by with lesser forms of protection- things like guards, belted 'undergarments'or hourglass-shaped pads or even size 5 or 6 infant's products in my underwear (tighty-whities) because my accidents were less severe and less frequent- slow leakage was the greater issue due to strictures but the problem with my bladder emptying itself slowly got worse and fitted briefs became a necessity again. I haven't had a completely dry day in the past 7 or 8 years, and am dry only about half the day. Now, if I could only predict which half, I'd be very happy... anyway, my point is that if I can hold it, I do because I figure doing so preserves the level of control I do have, or at least slows the progression of loss. I am 33 years post-injury, and about 3 years ago, I saw a major improvement in the vision problems I've had since this injury, so I haven't given up hope for the other symptoms of brain injuries, and that includes the incontinence.

 

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Jeff. I am with you about not using for convenience. That’s sorta my struggle. It seems like convenience but it’s also getting to a point where it’s necessity. I can’t just stop working within 3 or 4 min every time I get a twinge - I find that when I focus on work and try to hold it I end up losing.

Im just wondering if I should trade 10 sprints to the toilet for a single visit to change during the work day.

 

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Has anyone recommended condom catheters to you. None of my doctors suggested it. I happened to find a YouTube video about them. They have allowed me to sleep through the night and go out for the day without worrying about diaper or pad changes. It takes awhile to get use to putting them on correctly and getting the right size. Comfort Medical (800-210-5134) will send you samples to try and most insurance plans cover them.

 

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Hello Newbie2this, for a little over 2 years after prostate surgery I’ve had issues, so wearing depends briefs and pads together was a norm for me. During that time I had several embarrassing moments that I overcame. To make a long story short, I elected to getting the Artificial Uninary Sphincter, (AUS). It was activated last Tuesday at 9am, at 9.01 I became dry and dry ever since. They’re other options out there but the AUS was the best for me. You have to weigh all your options then decide what’s best for you.
So when you’re feeling angry, don’t ever think you’re the only one. All of us here have different levels of frustration some even worsts than you, so knowing that you’re not alone, stick with it and us and I know you’ll find a solution and eventually relief. Best of luck to you.

 

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Like others have said, explore the medical solutions available and that you’re comfortable pursuing.

For me, urge came on quick a few years ago, and I just recently figured out the cause. Behavioral changes haven’t really made much change in the symptoms, and I’m not going with prescriptions or surgery. Just too much risk for a mildly bothersome urge incontinence. Do what’s best for you and what will allow you to live a normal and productive life.

 

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Jet. Yeah I have done the medical stuff. Pelvic floor therapy and like 5 meds. Next step is Botox, which I’m not comfortable with. Im not a fan of bochilism being injected into my body. Im also reluctant to do the implant thing. I don’t like surgery when it’s not needed and for me “need” is a super high bar.

Klee. I did try condom cath once when in the hospital. They worked well but the condom part kept breaking. The nurses weren’t sure why so I figured if they couldn’t make them work I shouldn’t bother. I may wanna reevaluate that. Thanks.

 

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I try not to wear diapers during the day,as I don't want to get overconfident. I believe if I wear diapers and plastic pants 24/7, I would totally lose continence. It's bad enough for me that I bed wet.i only wear diapers during the day, if I have very limited access to a bathroom

 

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I try not to wear diapers during the day,as I don't want to get overconfident. I believe if I wear diapers and plastic pants 24/7, I would totally lose continence. It's bad enough for me that I bed wet.i only wear diapers during the day, if I have very limited access to a bathroom

Just today I tried to go for a walk without a diaper. Welp. There was a very large puddle on the sidewalk but it was early so no one was around thankfully. If i could go without id do it in a second

 

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@Newbie2this , I'm male, 62 years old and developed around a year ago a combined dribble and urge incontinence, which can't be healed, only maximum suppressed for a certain degree with some meds which I decided not to do - so, yes, wearing protection is my solution. Sure, if an urge hits and I'm near a bathroom I can still reach it - but, to be honest, over the time my motivation to use as much as ever possible the toilet decreased a bit.
You might call it "convenience", I rather call it "quality of life". I don't want to arrange my life around my incontinence, I rather live my active and social life in the same way than I did before becoming IC, and with according protection I'm able to do so without anyone else (except of my loving and accepting wife) being able to remark my condition at all. So I stopped interrupting anything I'm doing just in order to sprint (mostly unsuccessful) to the toilet but, if any doubt, rather to relax in my diaper without anyone else can remark. I've chosen a protection with allows me to go through the day with maximum one change after lunchtime and another one in the evening for the night, so all in all not a big deal or limitation, and I prefer simply to continue enjoying my life! So my guess, if there is no chance for healing in a for you reasonable and acceptable way, don't feel angry and humiliated but accept your condition, forget about stigma and shame around wearing protection and deal reasonable with it like an adult!

 

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Hi Newb,
I’m still in the camp of trying to make it if/when I can to retain what little control I still have or keep the little strength left in my external sphincter. If I’m more than 10-15 seconds away from a restroom or it would be socially awkward to leave abruptly, I rely on my protection and change when it’s convenient. I’ve got no feeling of a full/filling bladder and the urge is my only clue that it’s time to go.

I’m still relatively new with the urge, so I’m still looking at medical solutions and evaluating the risks/rewards.

 

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@Newbie2this It took me a good 3-6 months before I started feeling totally confident. I had the condom pull off the bag when I stood up at a restaurant. Tight pants held the tube and pulled the condom off. If the softer material of the condom kinked it would fill up and the condom would come off completely. It takes an adjustment to remember it is there and change your behavior to be aware of when it may fail. It soon becomes second nature and is well worth the extra effort. No more being wet or spots on my pants. Don’t give up too soon. I still wear a diaper over it just in case if I am out all day, but I no longer need it.

 

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@all
I'm reading and taking it in. I've been at this for fourteen years (I'm 88). If I were younger, I might try the surgery, but not at my age along with the possibility of infections and device failures.

I've done a ton of pads and pull-ups, which keep the skin saturated with urine 24-7 - the urine is very hard on the skin. SO...I'm settled on the condom catheter. Also, the catheters, tubing, and leg bags are covered by MEDICARE. (THE PADS AND PULLUPS ARE NOT COVERED BY MEDICARE.) The condom catheters have been my choice for several years - combined with the Lundberg penile clamp. I switch over to pads occasionally for 2-3 days if I run short of condom catheters.

THERE IS A LEARNING CURVE that goes with adopting condom catheters, but for me, it has been worth it. I am truly surprised that more men are not using the condom catheter. Perhaps that's because hardly any of the doctors have incontinence themselves and have not wrestled with the problem, personally. Reading books and reports is not the same thing as peeing in your shoe. (I don't mean to be ugly. Just thinking out loud.)

For some time, I wore a pad and pullup under the condom catheter as a safety net. I was having accidents while I was learning and that served a good purpose. As I refined my technique, I dropped the safety pads and pull-ups. I don't need them anymore. EVERY MAN HAS TO DECIDE FOR HIMSELF. Wishing everyone success and satisfaction with what you are doing.

 

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@DanCarr, THANK YOU for this spectacular insight! And the "peeing in your shoe" is so on point and yet a hilarious, IMHO, way to describe the way some of us feel. Again, Thanks!,

 

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@DanCarr, please let us know what brand of external catheter you recommend.

 

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@fleemoore
I use the Hollister brand external catheter: Reference: 97532 (32mm).
Begin sizing at 32mm and go up or down in size. Keep in mind that the penile size fluctuates up and down during a 24-hour period. Start with a 32mm size and see how it works through a 24-hour period.

Also, get a box of SKIN-PREP wipes (Smith & Nephew) (package of 50) for sealing the pores of the skin to provide a glue base for the catheter. YOU WILL ALSO NEED A 2/1-quart plastic paint bucket, filled 2/3 to 3/4 full of hot water (106 degrees, or so).

BEGIN: Wash crotch skin thoroughly with Ivory (bar soap)and washcloth. Drop soaped area into the paint bucket of water and rinse thoroughly. Dry with a clean, dry washcloth. Use a hair dryer on low to thoroughly dry the skin. Apply the SKIN-PREP on the penile area. Dry with the hair dryer (thoroughly). Apply the condom catheter by unrolling it down the staff of the penile area. Squeeze the condom catheter to set the adhesion. Connect the catheter to the drain tube connector. Push the catheter a good half-inch onto the connector.

Will finish the directions in a private forum letter.

 

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It is very individualized choice, and each comment is a choice. Just as your choice is yours to make.

I will say, it is more than this or that but, things between. Be accepting that it is okay to choose differently each day or situation. You need to decide what balances your needs.