Urge Incontinence... some days worse than others...

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As I've written about previously on this board, I've been randomly wetting the bed with increasing frequency over the last year. Also I've experienced daytime urge incontinence at an increasing rate too.
I've listed my trips to the doctors in other posts, so I won't re-hash all that. But what really bugs me is how some days are much worse, for no apparent reason!! I mean the bedwetting I can plan for, a diaper at night, and deal with it in the morning.... Some mornings I wake up wet, most mornings I wake up dry.

The daytime urge incontinence is something else though. Often, I can go several days, just wearing a Depends Real Fit brief and I'm ok. Then there are days like today. I was wetting like every hour or more, getting strong urges with little warning before it turned into a substantial leaking. I had to drive out of town, so NO WAY a Depends Real fit would work! I ended up going thru 2 ConfiDry 24/7 diapers before the day was done. And I wasn't drinking anymore liquids than I normally do !! It gets kind of irritating not knowing how its going to be, from day to day. I guess at some point, I'll just have to accept actual diapers everyday, and leave the Depends briefs for those with light problems. Aging sucks sometimes.

 

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My word! You just described my issues almost exactly. I can go several nights in a row with no problems at all, then for now apparent reason I'll have several wet nights. I cannot predict what nights will be wet and which ones dry. As a result, I wear a fairly thick cloth diaper at night. Day time, again like you I have good days, and not so good days. There have been times where I don't really have an urge, but start leaking without really knowing it. When I do have a slight urge, it quickly becomes stronger with little time to get to a restroom. Once I start, I can't stop it. I've had control issues for a lot of my life, but over 3 years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I had a prostatectomy combined with a diverticulotomy which has made my issues a little more complicated. It took some time, but I've become accustomed to wearing a diaper. I now have heart issues; most recently having a pacemaker implanted. I guess needing to wear a diaper is not that big a deal in comparison. And, yes,aging is not for sissies. I'm 73.

 

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I went through the same thing finely just settled after talks with wife on diapers to try and out wit my body.

 

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Yes Mike, I know just what you mean! There is no way to predict how incontinence will rear its ugly head from day to day to make it easy to plan what you're going to wear. I find I'm in the same situation myself. Even during these hot days of summer I could still wet fairly often just as I do on cooler days. To manage, I've found that the Prevail maximum absorbency underwear works very well and I also like the Aleyne (a new brand) as it's compact and thin but surprisingly very absorbent.
And Damp, you are right, too! Aging is definitely not for sissies> Don't know how many times I've heard that, but it is so true!:O

 

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I can definitely relate to the unpredictability. To top it off, after having knee surgery I’ve had to take Tramadol for the past two weeks, and it’s wrought havoc on my bladder, day and night, even though I’m not taking a full dose and I don’t take it after 5:00 p.m. It’s made my insomnia even worse, too - hard to believe that’s possible. I look forward to getting off this drug in the next few days, hope hope. Running to the bathroom when my knee barely moves is horrible.

 

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I’m 23 and have the same problem thanks to OAB. Today I had a couple of large accidents with very minimal warning, actually had a leak from a MegaMax diaper thankfully at home. This is after a few mostly dry days where I had no issues getting to the toilet. It is frustrating

 

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I wear nappies (diapers) 24/7, and every day their is something

sometimes I surprise myself (I'll get to the afternoon and still be relatively clean), other times: I have no hope at all and just change multiple times per day

 

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Emily, we all know how true the unpredictability factor is! It's maddening but it's part of the game. With me, the unpredictability happens more in cooler weather than in hot. There have been times when I've found myself in a situation where I definitely was "under-dressed." No fun at all! You feel you don't want to "over-diaper" yourself if you don't think you need it, but then again you want to be prepared for the big flood. :O So what to do? If you're just going to be out for say two hours or less, maybe you can get by with a cheaper diaper, but if you know you'll be out for several hours then of course you dress as if to expect that big flood! In your other post I talked about booster pads. They may come in handy for you and could help you cut down on the number of changes you need, even for the short trips where you'll be home in a couple of hours or less.

 

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@MikeD9876 I can kinda relate. My bedwetting is occasional and so random. I never really know when it might happen. I'll go weeks with no accidents and then out of the blue I randomly wet the bed.

I've tried to determine if there are and triggers or common things happening the day/night before that might have cause the wet night but have not found any consistent pattern. I can explain some from being stressed out about something or being exhausted from a long fun day of activity. But that only explains a few of them.

So yeah I get it. The randomness of it can be frustrating.

JT

 

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Well, in my original post, I said this at the end... " I guess at some point, I'll just have to accept actual diapers everyday, and leave the Depends briefs for those with light problems."

I guess that day has arrived. 4 days in a row, I've wet more than my Depends Real Fit could handle, and ended up with wet pants. Fortunately, I always wear black slacks for my job, so it wasn't to noticeable. So it's back to daytime diapers everyday for me. I've experimented with external catheters and leg bags, and they just didn't work out for me. Now it's just a matter of trying different diapers to see which one is most suitable for preventing leaks and remaining somewhat discrete at the same time!

 

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Sorry to hear that, Mike.

 

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Me too, @snow and @MikeD9876. Bladders do have minds of their own it seems. If they want to behave they will. But if not then we do need to be prepared for those times. In actuality the bladder is the boss!
It may be a good idea to try to have a diary to determine when the more intense wetness happens. That way you may be able to detect a pattern for when you could wear something lighter versus wearing an actual diaper. It may even have to do with weather (I'm more "active" during cooler weather) or other conditions that would affect it.
But the good thing is you do wear black slacks for work so that does help a bit.
Let us know how things are going. Someone is always here!

 

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I have similar issues and have been in "diapers" 24/7 for a number of years now. Why "diapers"? I usually can get away with an overnight absorbency level pull up for men during the day (for me prevail for men overnight). These are usually good for full day of post urinating dribble, but will only handle one heavy void, then must be changed. I have managed over the years when I get that 1st "major hit" that I need a bathroom now! I can usually "hold it" 1 time. But I better be on my way because the 2nd "major hit" I cannot stop. This usually result in large squirts (pelvic floor muscles trying to control the release) until it all comes out. Overnight absorbency pull up is good for many squirts before needing changed.
Overnight I am in "real" tape on diapers.(right now North Shore Supreme)
When traveling or have a good assumption there may not be a quickly found bathroom I wear a high absorbency pull up.(right now using north shore Go Supreme)
Perhaps @MikeD9876 (or anyone else) could try a higher absorbency men's product that would be similar to depends in discretion needs but absorb more. If that doesn't work maybe look into high absorbency pullup. I may be fooling myself but I don't believe the shape of my pants changes with high absorbency pull up.
Personally in a high absorbency pull up (and tape on diapers) I look for and use products that use standing leak guards. For men I think this is important because we cannot control where the "outlet" is pointed (unless it is physically moved). With a leak guard even if you are aimed at your leg instead of straight down the leak guard will "chase" the liquid back into the product.
I have found without the leak guards (prevail as an example) if I have a heavy void and I am not aimed down it is very likely I will have wet pants. Unfortunately I have been in those situations where I knew I was going to wet myself with the "lighter" absorbency product and had to make sure I was pointed down. It's not ideal but neither are wet pants.
The key I think is to find the products that work best for you. I tried many products over the years and still am open to changes if there is something better out there. Experimentation is the key in my mind, but if we all throw out there what works best for them maybe it helps another.

 

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It’s sad to imagine how many frustrated wetters there are out there, who don’t know about NAFC to turn to as a resource.

 

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Hi @Tim. I was reading your post and I think I had once tried a sample packet of Prevail men's overnight underwear. I wore them during the daytime when it was cooler and I needed a bit more absorbency. As I remember they were pretty good and no more bulky or indiscreet than regular pull-ups. When it gets cooler I'm probably going to try them again. For anyone else reading this that could be a good option. Google Prevail and see what you come up with.

 

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Hi @snow Any idea how to get the word out that NAFC is a great resource? As you say there must be a lot of frustrated wetters so what is a good way to reach them? Maybe through mainstream media somehow?

 

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I have tons of ideas because for 15 years I successfully ran a nationwide non-profit as Executive Director. I’m currently committed to a lot of volunteer work and can’t afford to take on any additional unpaid work. I think the NAFC should concentrate on procuring fundraising from corporate sponsors. Then they would have the funding necessary to increase their own outreach and visibility, and to hire at least one full-time paid staff member.

 

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Prevail has been a good option for me. They produce numerous types of pullups for both men and women. I have worn the overnight absorbency for a while now as I said they work well for me probably 85% of the time.
If you go to Prevails website during business hours you can chat on their site with folks who will help you out with any questions you may have. I have used this numerous times. One question I had was for the most absorbent pull up for men and was told the overnight was the highest.
They sent me a couple samples of the per-fit for men in blue color. I did like the look. They were a comfortable diaper. The absorbency was less then I wanted.
I think pricing is nice also. You cannot purchase direct through the manufacturer but there are numerous online retailers. I pay About $.66 each. come in case of 64. Online seller I use has free shipping.
As with all my diapers I set up auto delivery so I don't have to watch my numbers and order, they just arrive on my doorstep.
Might be an option worth checking out for both male and female needs.

 

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I often read in this forum about OAB and urge incontinence getting worse over time. While we talk about products and medications that help us cope, the condition seems to gradually get worse. Does anyone actually ever reverse the process and get better?

 

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I’ve experienced incontinence for the past five years, due to Neurogenic Bladder incurred during an extreme snowboarding fall down a cliff where I permanently damaged my spine. I didn’t experience any incontinence for the first three months following the accident. By nine months afterward, I had hit the full extent of the incapacity at which I remain. Following such an injury, it takes about that amount of time for the nerves to permanently die. Since nine months after the accident, I have experienced no relief, nor no worsening. I am female.