Thankful

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I don’t know what I would do without my girlfriend. The last three days have been a nightmare. I’ve been having uncontrollable muscle and bladder spasms that have left me in bed. She’s had to change me, wet sheets, and put up with my miserable mood. To be honest I thought she would have left me by now. I have such insecurities about my incontinence making me less of a man or less desirable to her. She does nothing but assure me her love is not conditional and she will be here for me no matter how bad it gets. My dad use to beat me when I would wet the bed and I was called gross and lazy by my mom. I have never experienced the type of love my girlfriend is giving me and it’s honesty probably the only thing keeping me going right now.

 

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So glad you have had this amazing love when you need it the most!!

Is this sudden spasm issue something new to see a doc about?

 

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Just my two pennies worth...

It sounds like there isn't much that would scare your girlfriend away - she sounds wonderful! Just don't discount her love and loyalty - I don't think any of your symptoms sound like they would drive her away, but that might... Just appreciate all that she is and does for you and reciprocate in any way you can!

Love is love and true love requires self-sacrifice and giving of oneself for the good of another...sounds like she is THERE and a real treasure to cherish and love!!!

As @Maymay941 said, I believe a Dr. visit is in order!

Hope things improve, but be thankful for what you have - funny how things that are bad sometimes bring about the most good - like self-sacrifice and bringing people (closer) together!

+God+bless+

 

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Your fears about being undesirable because of your incontinence are very understandable, especially given the abuse you suffered from your parents. I struggle with the same thing, even without the history of abuse.

Last week my wife asked me why I try so hard to avoid having her see me with a diaper on, and I told her that it's because I'm afraid that she'll be disgusted with me because of my incontinence. She told me that she struggles with fear that I will find her unattractive because she's short and overweight, and I let her know that I find her beautiful and desirable no matter what she looks like. She replied, "That's the same exact way I feel about your incontinence." It really got me thinking about how I love her no matter what, but I don't expect the same unconditional love from her. I suspect that lots of us fall into that trap as we deal with health issues and problems that come with aging.

 

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There are angels out there and they come in every size, shape, and color. Should you be fortunate enough to find one that cares for you so very much while you are going through all of this. Remember that she or he is going through it also. Don't ever forget that, and do everything you can to appreciate, love, console, and keep their spirits up as well. I know this because my wife was and still is my angel who weathered all the storms I went through in the last thirteen months right along with me. And I will always, always be there for her.....so help me God.

 

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I'm also a very lucky one having a wife since now since 37 years which had no issues with my beginning incontinence nearly a year ago. As I opened up my starting issues to her she was very understanding and supportive, she told me that we would go through all of it together and she didn't only say but also always shows me in all of her behaviour to me that I'm not a different person to her, even since then having to wear protection. Most important to her (and to me of course too) was figuring out with my doctors that there was no serious health damage behind my IC, so she encouraged me simply to find the best kind of protection working for me so that I'm comfortable continuing our active and social life nearly in the same way as before. I've meanwhile made my peace with my IC, and my wife was a very big help in self-acceptance - as she was the one always fully accepting and loving me, no matter if diapered or not.

 

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@Dcny It’s delightful to hear such a good tale of love and kindness. Shame on your parents, and praises on your girlfriend! Sounds like she might be a keeper! Sorry to hear you’ve had a few bad days; good for you for looking on the bright side!

Thank you to the rest of you for sharing about the help and respect you get from your partners; how wonderful! I’m very happy to hear your stories of true love.

 

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I agree, angels know no bounds and come from everywhere. Don't take them for granted. My wife was fantastic every day after my RP.