How to answer a 10 year old girl questions.

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I need recommendations on how much to tell my niece's 10 year old daughter who saw my urine collection bag strapped to my leg. I was dressing, had my shirt on, in my underwear, reaching for my pants, when she stepped into the bedroom to ask my girlfriend a question. She briefly stared then asked her question. I told my girlfriend to route any questions to me later after I had thought about it.

My thinking is to say that I had a medical procedure that has left me with partial incontinence. That it my choice to use the drainage bag as apposed to diapers and leave it at that. My concern is that if she asks questions and she will, how much should I share. Also thinking it might be best to have her mom present. I never had children and actually not sure how much the mom knows about my incontinence. Trying to make this a teaching moment, verbally only of course. Maybe I should start with that one should knock before opening a door.

Thank you R

 

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I think you should let her mom answer all the questions. Tell her mom what happened then follow the requests of the mom. Maybe the mom will want you to tell your niece yourself but I doubt it.

 

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I would just tell her I had a medical procedure done and the doctor said I have to wear it for awhile. If she ask why, tell her it’s to collect urine.

 

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I agree with your first instinct and with Cay, tell your niece, not making a big deal of it. I didn't have a Mother who would object to her child learning from someone else - is that the problem? I believe in people being able to be open.

 

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I would let the girls mother explain it if necessary and would not discuss it with a child at all.

 

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@Redcat

What everyone else said.

I would add that I have been in this situation before and worse.

My comment was always, Mind your business. (Southern saying for walk away only in my family it also means go sit at the table until I come to get you)

Kids are always curious but my family is very open. I always talk to parents first and let them know that their youngins saw something that they might have questions about and see how they want to address the issue.

 

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As someone who was on e a 10-year-old girl, I would’ve been really creeped out number one if I had seen that, and number two if my uncle was the one who tried to explain it to me.

 

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@snow

Exactly. Kids don't need to know everything and it is the job of the parents to decide what they should know.

Out of twelve nieces and nephews, only three know anything about my issues.

My two oldest nieces know because they and their mother lived with my parents and me in Florida during her divorce. They were there when I almost died and knew I had a bedwetting issue before getting sick. My sister felt it was best to tell them.

My one nephew knows by accident. My brother-in-law has kids from a past girlfriend. His kid lives with him and my little sister in Germany and we were on the phone about my last surgery and it came up. The worst thing is that I have never actually met this nephew he is 18 now. My sister works a over the world and met her husband working for the U.S. D.O.D. They got married back here in the States when they were home last year.

Like I got called and told after the fact as they were in Iceland when he popped the question.

So yea. Had some crazy things but for the most part no one that doesn't actually have to know has a clue of anything except that I have a health issue. That is all anyone else needs to know.

 

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We're responding to this topic according to what kind of children we were - I was an inquisitive, dispassionate child at 10 and the explanation of the bag would have interested me. It would not hsve bothered me that it was a man - clearly in this instance a man I knew well - who was explaining it.

 

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It is unfortunate that child walked into an adult couples bedroom when they were dressing as you could have been in a more nude state but for that reason I think it is up to you to tell her mother what happened and simply say you have a medical condition that requires equipment and leave it to be mother