Negative experiences in childhood

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Hello friends. Hope everyone is doing well. I thought I would reach out and ask… has anyone had experiences in childhood with incontinence that left a negative impression that haunted you for a long time? I know I had rather unkind adults in my life that made me free allot of shame. My step mother was particularly cruel in the beginning, she adjusted once it was realized I wasn’t just being lazy or not trying. But she tried at first to shame me by having me wear diapers more like a punishment than a need. This made me dread wearing protection and actually took some years for me to feel ok about needing protection. Anyways would love to here from you. If not comfortable sharing in this thread you can always send me a message.

 

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Kay79 I'm glad that you overcame that abuse. Your stepmother may have thought she was doing the right thing. She undoubtedly had no counsel on what SHE should do and often adults unknowingly think first of punishment instead of seeking medical advice and offering comfort and support. Sometimes it takes some awareness to understand the problem. When my child was small I had no experience dealing with bed-wetting and it wasn't a problem until my child was 6 years old and I finally consulted a doctor and then shared with a personal friend who happened to work in Social Services about what was happening and then we found help and the solution that changed everything. Sometimes the solution is - just deal with it! Unfortunately. I do empathize with you.

 

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I was a bedwetter as a child as well as had encopresis issues my Mother would threaten me with buying me what she would call belt diapers and she would show me ads in the back of better homes and gardens for something called ever-safe she never did buy it and my bedwetting stopped when I was about 9 or 10 but I contacted having encopresis issues I got tired o all the fights we would have of hiding my underwear and trying to hide the fact that I had soiling issues in my teens I decided to try to buy myself some diapers to try to help with my soiling issues when my parents caught me and found my diapers instead of being supportive and understanding that I was trying to help myself they accused me of using the diapers for some sexual fetish which I knew nothing about then which I now know as the AB/DL so with no support from my parents and no other support available I felt like a freak and isolated like I was the only one and my issues were a cause of a lot of family fights

 

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That was a very sensitive subject with me for years. The interesting thing was I never would talk about it and somehow it manifested in my mind for nearly all my life. Then I actually went to counseling and everything came out, even things I didn't remember came back to me.
Talking about it out loud somehow brought out all kinds of vague memories and incidents. Needless to say after multiple sessions my bedwetting issue has nearly stopped and I no longer am on anxiety medication. I still have to work at things but this past year I have really shown progress.
Most of the "damage" was from my step dad but my mom and others were very complicent in his treatment of my problem up until I was about 12 or 13 years old. However that was the point I learned how to trick everyone into thinking I had stopped wetting which I never really did and stayed with me until adulthood.

 

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DPCare - Our society has a history of equating everything to sex doesn't it? Many "old-school" people have this attitude. When my grandchild had gender identity challenges, the church leaders could only think about her in terms of her biological sex organs. We left. Years ago society frowned on a man hugging another man, a girl holding hands with her female classmate. And still that seems to be the prevalent attitude in some of the state legislation that have taken over rational thinking recently. In 1947 Bible publishers changed some wording from a New Testament culture to something different to reflect a 20th century taboo. ignorance of the discoveries in science is weighing us down with and keeping us ensconced in the first century.

 

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My mother was not supportive of it I needed diapers even the doctor I went to told her I needed diapers. I was made to feel shame and embarrassed for wetting. I had no control over it. Even to the point of going the the store and carrying the diapers around the store. So yes I was made to be embarrassed and shamed for needed diapers

 

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Wow well I am so surprised to hear all this. Sad to hear, but nice I am not alone.

 

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That is so sad Jay.

 

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Yes indeed.
My parents often had arguments which was upsetting.
I don't remember not wetting until I was about 12.
It was upsetting as I adored my mother but it frustrated her!
I missed out on lots of sports activities and to this day I cannot swim.

 

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I was a chronic nightly bedwetter growing up. My folks tried everything to get me dry at night to no avail. My Dad was always disgusted by my bedwetting but left the punishment to my Mother. She used to rub my face in my wet sheets most mornings.
Eventually they just gave up and left me to it and it was just accepted in our house I was a bedwetter and probably always would be.

 

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I was a chronic nightly bedwetter growing up. My folks tried everything to get me dry at night to no avail. My Dad was always disgusted by my bedwetting but left the punishment to my Mother. She used to rub my face in my wet sheets most mornings.
Eventually they just gave up and left me to it and it was just accepted in our house I was a bedwetter and probably always would be.

Ugh! The rubbing the face in my sheets... I hated that. It's odd because my dad spanked me for wetting when I was very young but my mom made him stop, but when I was around 8 my mom would have moments she would get frustrated with me and shame or do the face rub thing to me but she wonders why I was scared to tell her I had wet the bed... (that was the "rule" that if I wet, I needed to tell her) of course I'm gonna try to hide it bc I have no idea how she was going to act toward me, sometimes she was kind, other times not so much. Smh.