Stuff you used to be able to do or miss
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None, with the proper protection I have been able to do virtually everything I did before. Yes, it takes a good bit of pre-planning but otherwise it doesn't keep me from doing anything. Note that I'm only bladder incontinent, if I was also bowel IC I would think that there would have to be certain limitations.
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I have had to give up cute tight fitting jeans during the day as they won't come off s smoothly to use the toilet. No zipper pants seem to work nor stretchy leggings.
I avoid travel to stay overnight because I am awake all night minitoring possible leaks.i am afraid of smellling of urine or the bedding after sleeping in proximity to others in hotels or small spaces.
I dont feel attractive so it alters my mood and enjoyment frequently.
Petty problems, I know.
I avoid travel to stay overnight because I am awake all night minitoring possible leaks.i am afraid of smellling of urine or the bedding after sleeping in proximity to others in hotels or small spaces.
I dont feel attractive so it alters my mood and enjoyment frequently.
Petty problems, I know.
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I am with physlink. While there is not much I avoid due to the diapers, it does require more forethought. Proper planning has satisfied most things. Concerts and sporting events are areas of problem for me. Being a man it is not really acceptable to carry a purse and a backpack at those events many times is not allowed. Having it searched if you can take one is always awkward too. I was at college football event and the lady searching my bag pulled out my diaper and asked loudly, is this really an adult diaper? I hate my shame and said yes loudly back and went on about my day. It happens, what are you going to do? I will not let it keep me from living the life I want.
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Hi @wetdad, I agree that being incontinent should not keep you from living the life you want to have. We just have to make adjustments and hope for the best but prepare for the worst!
And shame on that lady for searching your bag, pulling out a diaper and asking loudly if that really is an adult diaper. If it were me I would have just grabbed it back, stashed it and asked the woman to point out her supervisor to me and made a complaint about her lack of sensitivity. No excuse for that, really!
And shame on that lady for searching your bag, pulling out a diaper and asking loudly if that really is an adult diaper. If it were me I would have just grabbed it back, stashed it and asked the woman to point out her supervisor to me and made a complaint about her lack of sensitivity. No excuse for that, really!
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Skiing and snowboarding with OAB and/or a wet diaper SUCKS. Cold and wet = gross. Frequent trips to the lodge to spend five minutes disrobing in/out of multiple layers of snow gear = SUCKS. I don’t particularly enjoy the terrain next to the lodges and I don’t spend exorbitant sums of money to ski just to hang out in the lodge bathroom. Men just pee into the trees. Women can’t get away with that without people on chairlifts seeing our butts hanging out and ogling us. I’ve tried it but I get scared I’ll get arrested and be charged as a sex predator. Also, the cold air hitting the butt is paralyzing when it comes to peeing. I still do these activities, but the OAB definitely has an obnoxious, discouraging effect.
Riding on public transportation when you can’t get to a bathroom any time you need to.
Walks longer than 45 minutes. Diapers get messed up by walking so I don’t trust them. Right now all the park bathrooms are closed because of COVID. Nice walking areas are always too populated to take a squat.
International, long flights where I’d need to sleep, and might wet the seat through my diaper if I fell asleep.
Certain food and drink within five hours of bedtime. Adequate beverage at dinner.
Bicycling = too aggravating to bladder. I haven’t tried recumbent but I’d like to.
Saddest of all, dating. Sleeping with someone else is out of the question because of how anxious it makes me that I’ll pee on them. I barely get any sleep already, and I get no sleep if I’m with someone else.
Shopping at stores that don’t allow bathroom access. Because of The ‘Rona, there are more of these than there used to be.
Staying at my best friend Mads’ odd house in L.A., because the guest bedroom is awkwardly two flights of stairs away from the only bathroom in the house. Sometimes I pee in a Home Depot bucket next to the bed but it’s gross and embarrassing.
Camping in a tent - which I ***LOVE*** - is much harder with nocturnal polyuria. Getting out of a sleeping bag to climb out of a tent to put shoes on to pee every 5-60 minutes, while flexing pelvic floor muscles through a bladder spasm, is cold and abrupt; nearly impossible to get back to sleep after that.
Certain kinds of jobs and volunteer positions.
Concerts.
Long rides in someone else’s car in Southern California, because it’s easy to get caught in 3-4 hour long traffic jams where you can’t get to a rest stop or an exit, and I’m afraid my diaper will leak on their seat.
Riding on public transportation when you can’t get to a bathroom any time you need to.
Walks longer than 45 minutes. Diapers get messed up by walking so I don’t trust them. Right now all the park bathrooms are closed because of COVID. Nice walking areas are always too populated to take a squat.
International, long flights where I’d need to sleep, and might wet the seat through my diaper if I fell asleep.
Certain food and drink within five hours of bedtime. Adequate beverage at dinner.
Bicycling = too aggravating to bladder. I haven’t tried recumbent but I’d like to.
Saddest of all, dating. Sleeping with someone else is out of the question because of how anxious it makes me that I’ll pee on them. I barely get any sleep already, and I get no sleep if I’m with someone else.
Shopping at stores that don’t allow bathroom access. Because of The ‘Rona, there are more of these than there used to be.
Staying at my best friend Mads’ odd house in L.A., because the guest bedroom is awkwardly two flights of stairs away from the only bathroom in the house. Sometimes I pee in a Home Depot bucket next to the bed but it’s gross and embarrassing.
Camping in a tent - which I ***LOVE*** - is much harder with nocturnal polyuria. Getting out of a sleeping bag to climb out of a tent to put shoes on to pee every 5-60 minutes, while flexing pelvic floor muscles through a bladder spasm, is cold and abrupt; nearly impossible to get back to sleep after that.
Certain kinds of jobs and volunteer positions.
Concerts.
Long rides in someone else’s car in Southern California, because it’s easy to get caught in 3-4 hour long traffic jams where you can’t get to a rest stop or an exit, and I’m afraid my diaper will leak on their seat.
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@wetdad Wow that lady that searched your bag and said it out loud I have no words for her,shame on her, She will remember karma what goes around comes around. Some adults just don,'t know how to behave like adults and instead of being professional, no, she has to broadcast it out loud for everyone else to hear, I would of been steaming mad at her.I've had my diaper bags searched before and they have maintained a professional composure and i just went on my way. Hopefully one day she wont get flagged at the TSA checkpoint for carrying pads.
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Sometimes it is easier to just move along than to draw out the ordeal. I used to get really upset, but these days I just take it in stride.
It is way more important to stay focused on me and making sure I am prepared for the unexpected and doing the activities I love.
@snow, if you worry about leaks, have you tried plastic pants or even lined plastic pants? I have both and use them when I fear I might extend the wear to where I leak. They have saved me a few times.
It is way more important to stay focused on me and making sure I am prepared for the unexpected and doing the activities I love.
@snow, if you worry about leaks, have you tried plastic pants or even lined plastic pants? I have both and use them when I fear I might extend the wear to where I leak. They have saved me a few times.
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As I started this thread even though I rarely attend social get togethers like dinner with family and parties and going out late to a pub or club.
I miss the option as I'm nervous of people asking me questions especially door staff if they were to check my bag which I always carry.
I suffer from anxiety and nervousness in large groups.
It might just all be in my head but I don't want to risk the chance of being embarrassed.
I miss the option as I'm nervous of people asking me questions especially door staff if they were to check my bag which I always carry.
I suffer from anxiety and nervousness in large groups.
It might just all be in my head but I don't want to risk the chance of being embarrassed.
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I pretty much do everything I use to do, before I started wearing daytime diapers for my urge incontinence. One exception might be swimming pools. On our vacation this summer, I avoided the hotel swimming pools, fearing that I might leak while in the water. (I wouldn't go in wearing a diaper, just my swimming trunks.) I know... people pee in the pool, especially the kids. But it just made me feel weird that I might accidently do it. Now going into the lake isn't a mental block for me, there's all kinds of creatures wizzin' in there!
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I’ve avoided taking trips with friends because I’ve been afraid that they’d discover my problem. I miss eating certain foods that can can trigger episodes. Dating can be very difficult, I’m always fearful of how they’ll react, that they’ll just think I’m gross, or that they’ll think that I’m not worth being around because I have too many problems. I miss living on the fly and not really having to plan things out. I miss swimming, I bought a swim diaper, but I haven’t been brave enough to try it out. I miss going to the gym and working out, but the fear of being discovered has kept me from going back.
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Hi @tallnbald, Correct me if I'm wrong, somebody, but I have the impression that you wear a swim diaper under your regular swimming attire. If so that probably wouldn't be much of an issue. So go ahead and try out your swim diaper. It may surprise you! And if you're hankering to go to the gym and someone "discovers" you then so be it! After all you're not the one with the problem, they are, if they have a problem with what you wear! And as for dating, your personality will most likely make up for someone thinking you're "not worth being around." If you have great "sea stories" to tell they'll be more interested in that than wondering about what you wear underneath. Oh, I have an idea! Date someone who's really mature and has been around the block a few times or date a nurse or some other health care giver or even a teacher or child care worker. For example I don't think a nurse would go into orbit about someone with bladder problems. So go for it if the opportunity presents itself! 
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