PTSD

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Hi, it's been like three years since I came to this community. I had to take some time off the topic, since I develop some PTSD symptoms anytime it comes up in therapy or in real life. Anyway, it is something I have been trying to work on in the last 8 years of my life (I am now 29, female). I have been recently diagnosed with Dysautonomia and I had a disability period of 1 month because I had vertigo, fainting, lots of thirst, poliuria (lots of pee) and of course all of this just worsened my incontinence. A neurologist told me that because I've had incontinence since I was born it is possible that the Dysautonomia has always been the cause.

I thought that maybe if I had a proper diagnosis I might feel better but no (sorry for so much negativity, I really dont want to transmit bad vibes) It has just been hard, so many years had passed in therapy and I can't move forward. I can't speak about it, only with my therapist (and barely some words) and here. When I tried to force the progress in therapy I developed suicidal thoughts and a relapse of my depression so my therapist suggested we stepped away from the topic, he even suggested to just not do anything about it.

I am getting married in January and of course I am excited but somehow as a little girl I always thought that by now I would have this issue solved. I know I may always be incontinent, it just would be nice to be able to face it without wanting to harm myself.

Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you so much for reading this

 

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I understand that not everyone here is religious, but for me at least, my faith helps me a lot. I don't understand why God's plan for me includes incontinence. That understanding is above my pay grade, so I don’t try to figure it out. I just do my best in life and seek His help everyday. My humble two cents worth.

 

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I don't have PTSD, so please take what I say with a grain of salt. I do, however, have long experience with very severe depression, so perhaps my insights will have some value for you.

My real progress in fighting depression came in my late 20s and early 30s when I came to the realization that I was the one in control of my reactions to things in my life. I was going through a divorce at the time, and very suddenly found myself the sole parent of a four year old and a one year old. I was terrified that the stress and the pressure would push me into another bout of major depression (I'd been hospitalized twice afew years previously for depression). Instead, it made me learn how to compartmentalize my feelings, to focus on the moment instead of on my whole situation.

Basically, it's a skill that involves pushing aside invasive thoughts and putting away my tendency to stew over problems. Instead of brooding over something that has happened, or something that might happen, I had to learn how to set that off to the side and focus on what I'm doing right now, whether that was work or caring for my kids.

Obviously it doesn't make my problems go away. I still have to deal with them at some point. What it does do, though, is slow me to deal with my problems when I need to, instead of letting them take over my entire thought process and become overwhelming.

I'm not perfect at it, even years later, but it's kept me out of the hospital and made my life much, much better. I still have to remind myself that some things aren't today's problem, and set aside thinking about them at that moment.

I can't really give you much insight into how I learned to do that. That would be something to discuss with your therapist. For me, it was mostly just a farming recognition that I was the one responsible for controlling what was going on in my brain, and that nobody else was going to come along and do it for me. I had leaned too much on friends and therapists to try to keep me distracted from the things that were contributing to my depression, and I had to learn to do that on my own. It didn't cure my depression, but it sure helped make it manageable.

 

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@checmec Have you told your fiance?

 

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@checmec I first wrote it down briefly, told him I wet the bed 12th grade and in college. Then ended up just saying it later that I was nervous about being in the office because I might have an accident in a meeting or something. But we talked about it today and he made a note of it and I asked him to delete it because I'm embarrassed. So I don't know. Maybe write it down. I couldn't really say it either

 

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Hi @checmec, That is great advice up above!!! Whatever you're thinking just write it down and you'll have it for reference for talking about it later and not having that awkward "I forgot what I was going to say!"
That way you'll have time to think about it and just get everything down on paper. If you do that, you won't be at a loss for words when you talk to your therapist and that way he or she can help you more readily.
You do that and you'll do well!
I hope things are going well for you otherwise and please know that you have a whole lot to offer people and knowing that will help you prevail!
Do keep in touch here!!