Owning it

[Archives1]

This site has done a lot for me. Lately I’ve been struggling with the need to wear diapers in I plan on taking a nap or when I go to bed. Was constantly fighting it. Which resulted in no rest and no sleep.

After reading another post and a few replies. It just is what it is. Can’t explain why trauma has caused this. But when I wear a diaper, I’m a thousand times more relaxed and can usually fall asleep in minutes. That hasn’t happened in a long time. And if I have to wear a diaper and wake up wet...it is what it is right?

Thanks for all the support

 

[Archives1]

Exactly!! It’s so freeing when one accepts it as it is.

Jason.

 

[Archives1]

It's amazing how much better it is to realize you should strive for the best quality of life, and not the least number of diapers.

 

[Archives1]

This is very true. While I am 16-17 years into dealing with wearing, it still is something that I find I fight with. I still am deathly afraid of anyone at work finding out as I am considered the man of the workplace because of strength and attitude. Just one of those guys. I am lucky as most days I am alone in the office due to the VID, so I have been experimenting more lately with what I wear to ensure I am ready for everyone else's return. I tried an Abena pull up and got about an hour or two into the morning before I had to go back to a BetterDry spare I keep in my backpack. I was feeling frisky the other night and decided to skip putting it on at bed time hoping the wife would make note and reciprocate feelings. I ended up falling asleep before she came to bed though a couple of hours later. I woke up with her hand touching my butt and realizing I had not prepared. I fell back asleep and awoke to a jolt at 3a freezing in a pool of pee.

Acceptance is almost there for me, but these times where I think just maybe I can get away and control things, reinforce my need is just that. Today I am breaking and moving concrete, wearing a solid diaper and not even concerned about it. It is slightly uncomfortable in the sun and sweaty, but way better than the wet shorts I would have straining so much and not being prepared.

I strikes me funny that something that is so logical can create such a solid barrier to happiness. Dkscray255, I applaud you and wish you the best. I am working to be in that "so what" category all the time.

Underwear is just that, and the worst person judging us, ends up being ourselves!

 

[Archives1]

@Jwh51 @msuspartan thank you for replying. I’m sure at some point once the trauma heals it may stop. But tonight the shame has lessened. I decided to just diaper up for the evening in case I fall asleep watching tv or end up falling asleep for the night.

Just crazy to me how relaxed I am. And how much better I sleep and rest. Such a nice change of pace for once!

 

[Archives1]

We just need to learn to accept it! I finally have. I know that because of my neurogenic bladder, I will probably be in diapers the rest of my life. I've had to learn to accept that and I have now after trying to deny it for months when it first started. I know I also sleep alot better and feel more confident during the day knowing that if I do have an accident I'm protected by my diaper.

 

[Archives1]

Great progress Dscray
I wish we could get to understand why trauma does this to some but 8n tge meantime there's getting on with healing and growing and sleeping

 

[Archives1]

Thanks guys! Truly love the support.

It is truly amazing though how strong our minds are. I just wish I didn’t have to deal with the crap my brother gives me. I issued to travel 75% of the year so I moved in with him and his family. Well since the assault I haven’t traveled and live with them.

I used to wait till the last minute to get into a diaper just in case I needed something upstairs. Which resulted in me forgetting and being restless and tossing and turning. Just wish I could put one on when I relax and not worry about needing to go upstairs.

But hopefully now I won’t have any sleepless nights

 

[Archives1]

HI @Dkscray255,It sounds like you have really gotten things worked out and it's good to hear that you are so much more relaxed and have accepted things. It's a lot less stress and more relaxing. Getting good sleep is so important and I'm glad you've found the way to do it! And it's look like you've got a winner! Keep positive and keep your head held high!!!! You're going to make it!!!!

 

[Archives1]

I think it's great that you all are so accepting. I'm not. And what makes me feel guilty is that I don't wear diapers but only use about 3 pads a day. I'm looking in to see whether I'm a candidate for artificial urinary sphincter. Are any of you considering this? If not, why not?

 

[Archives1]

Best way forward is to accept it. I know I will be in nappies for the rest of my life but I still have a life.

 

[Archives1]

@Stevewet- You're so right! I will be diapers the rest of my life as well.I have come to accept that. Not something I can help just something I have to live with.

 

[Archives1]

Adapt, and move on with your life... Simple as that. I have a co-worker who has a oxygen bottle hanging from a waist belt. Two relatives who use canes. A friend who has a wheelchair. Several friends with hearing aids. Many many co-workers who wear glasses. A few relatives with diabetes monitors. And I need diapers.

When you stop and think about it, one BIG reason that our quality of life now is so much better than 200 years ago, is because we have developed ways to ADAPT and carry on. I wouldn't expect any of the people I listed above, to feel like a "Lesser Person" just because they need an aid to live a somewhat normal life. Like wise, I'm not going to let my diapers stop me from doing what I want to do.

 

[Archives1]

MikeD9876 very well said and it’s the truth. We are our own worse enemies and we need to learn to love thine self. And like you said not let our diapers stop us from doing what we want to do. They are merely an aid to let us manage our own issues.

 

[Archives1]

My wife told me straight to stop moping about and just wear a nappy and get on with my life.

 

[Archives1]

coodose to you Dkscray255, You did good, sometimes things are easier said then done and you are the exception, something I can't bring myself to do...