Need to explore diaper options

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@Chadindiapers I guess I am just resistant to the idea of having to accept wearing a 'real' diaper. I will try moving to pull-ups that are intended for overnight as I had to change again halfway through the night. And the sound of a crinkly diaper everyone can hear gives me a lot of anxiety... are there any cloth or paper backed tape on diapers?

 

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They do make tabbed cloth like disposable dippers - the material is like the depends pull up - From my experience the plastic backe diaper holds more capacity. Like this morning I woke when my alarm went off to a full diaper and had no leakage on the sheets. To reduce the noise try on compression shorts over the diaper.

 

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@Boopsie61 That is a great idea to cover myself should they say something like that! Thanks. And yeah I decided to put a pic to let y'all know I'm a real person lol. I've got tons of cute pictures of my kids.. maybe I will swop the one I have out for one of all 4 kids. The Nanna in you definitely comes out in your messages but that is helpful and reassuring, you could be my mom lol, since I am going on 36.

 

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@Maymay941 do you cut off the tabbed sides of the baby diaper first? I am worried about the width of the baby diaper causing leaks if it is not within the leg guards of the pull-ups' guards and uncomfortable to me squishing it in between.. what size do you usually get?

 

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I had newborn size available through a thrift store very cheap so I tried it in a cheap brand pull up at night
No science just squash I narrow inside middle.
I wouldn't do as a day thing
Unless you put a spandex panty over pull up to keep in place

Sorry correct Ed typos


Baby diapers are much the most quick absorb product small bulk but fast asorbing

 

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Sarah060488: Yes indeed - I am old enough to be your Mom. My little lady baby will be 41 the end of this week. My Daddy used to say he felt old when he realized how old his children were getting! I had my babies young 1981, 1983 and 1985. All big headed bold beauties. Also all vaginal births. Big babies too. Probably a contributing factor to the urinary incontinence. I feel everyone reading this is saying,"Well daah Boopsie61, ya think maybe?" But I wouldn't have changed a thing, well except maybe getting my tunes tied at the age of 23. Boo boo on my part. When the babies were 4, 2, and 7 months,the man I refer to as the "sperm donor" decided he was tired of playing house and skipped out on us. But God had MUCH better things in store for me. I was a single mother for only about three years but Lordie they were longest, loneliest, scariest years. Thank God I had an excellent State job. Not only did it hold us together financially, but I think it kept me on the other side of a complete breakdown. So, there you have the abridged chapter one of Boopsie61.
Once again - all the best to everyone. PS: Stay tuned for chapter two!!

 

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@Sarah060486 sure, I’d definitely recommend tape on nappies if you’re okay with going back to sleep wet. I tried using pull ups when I first started bedwetting and ended up with a wet bed more than I did a dry one. They work pretty well for me during the day for frequent dribbles but just don’t cut the mustard for full bladder voids.

If you know approximately how much you void at night, you can use this measurement to work out how much absorbency you need from a nappy. Functional capacity is generally 40-60% of advertised total absorbency. I learned this the hard way.

The downside of tape-ons is that if you’re rushing to make it to the bathroom you’re adding another barrier between you and the toilet. It can take time to get the tapes down. They’re also thicker and more obvious than pull ups, so that may be a consideration if you’re trying to hide your incontinence from your kids.

 

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Sarah: If you can consult with a uro=gynecologist, I would encourage you to do so. That specialist will have more insight into how four pregnacies in a short amount of time could affect your bladder. You might be prescribed physical therapy with a Pelvic Floor therapist,too. But knowing if you have a prolapsed uterus could also explain part of the problem. I think you should have a thorough assessment by someone familiar with this kind of problem. It could involve a test to check your bladder's ability to hold urine, and those results might suggest how to proceed. There may be meds that can help you with some aspects of the problem, but might be unwise if you are a nursing mother. I'm not much help with diapers, as I have a specificam still wading through all kinds of information. My gynecologist says the best diapers are the cheapest ones, but that's only true for women who dribble! And I'm still looking! Good luck. Lots of great advice on this site by people with more experience than I have.

 

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Sarah,
Just a few thoughts based on your questions & input that I hope might be of some help to you. Please forgive me in advance if I miss or forget something, the meds they are giving me right now are doing a great job of not allowing me to get stressed out, or really caring about much! I also blame both spellcheck & grammar check in advance for any and all mistakes. With this medication on board I’m sure it would be about IMPOSSIBLE for me to make a mistake!
1) Cost, this disease is an expensive one, even though the experts always lead with “Incontinence is not a disease, just a symptom of a “REAL” condition? After 30+ years of incontinence maybe I should have checked the box for “Condition” instead!
It often seems that the only thing cheap & prevalent about this is other peoples unrequested perspectives + guilt + blame!

2) Attempting to get a proper diagnosis.

3) Dealing with the children and adult diapers.

4) Finding protection you are comfortable with, does it’s job& is reasonably affordable.

Regarding #1, Have you thought of trying cloth adult diapers? My suggestion would be to possibly try some of the pull on or Velcro diapers at night, with some type of waterproof pants. You can always layer up or down affordably with doublers until you find the right balance. My wife and I laugh about it, (We use a lot of humor in our house) but the Kins Taffeta waterproof pants look just like a pair of Granny Panties as she calls them, but they work great and get the job done!
Just as an aside, my wife steals all of my PJs, I really think she just buys them for herself, but let’s me unwrap them at Christmas and my birthday just for the kisses, never to be seen in my dresser again! Why not throw a big baggy pair of your husbands on until you get a chance to get adjusted for the day, they make great camo first thing in the morning!
I know it’s hard to adjust to this, but you mentioned you don’t leak in bed, just when you stand up. I have a very similar situation due to Neurogenic Bladder / IC and OAB. It can go off at any time, but most often when I first step out of bed in the morning. A close second is stepping out of the shower with a fresh towel around my upper body and ZERO protection on! What a GREAT way to kick off your morning!
Seriously though, the stand up leakage sounds possibly nerve related as from what I’ve read you still have the ability to hold on at times, and God only knows what loose wires that beautiful baby might have been pulling on while working on her grand entrance into this world!
As far as the kids questions go, you will know much better than I. We vacation every Thanksgiving with my God Daughter and two other nieces, and early on any semblance of privacy went right out the window. We didn’t think to lock the bedroom door, and at first light we were attacked by a highly trained attack team of made up of a 2,3 & 6 year old! I guess you just can’t unsee that, so the truth it was. It’s never been an issue as they had seen me in a wheelchair, walker, braces etc. They are wonderful kids, and having their “favorite” Uncle needing diapers, removes that whole stigma at an early age.
I imagine your kids know that you gave birth to them, so maybe some strategically placed guilt might be appropriate?
“Do you really want my friends to know what you did to me?” They really like you “Right Now”???? (Sorry I was brought up Catholic, guilt was a sharpened and honed weapon, wielded skillfully by highly trained Nun-Ninjas)!
Maybe you want to give that last one a bit more thought….

Getting protection you can count on, and is reasonably affordable. In my case, in 1987 I didn’t have much choice, but cloth diapers with plastic pants if I ever wanted to leave the house. Today I still use cloth at night, and when I’ll be working from the house all day. To me they are far more comfortable than disposables,far cheaper over time and infinitely adjustable, especially for that morning surprise!
I would contact all of the major resellers like Northshore, as most of them will give you free samples while you attempt to find that balance that is perfect for you! I’ve never found a pull up that works through the night. Why sacrifice a moment of the precious little sleep you do get! If I get an hour of sleep and am awakened, that is all I get for the night! If I’m awakened by spasms, as soon as I sit up my bladder empties immediately. If I get up to change it’s over, instead I prepare while getting ready for bed then I can attempt to go back to sleep. When you think about it logically, it’s only a matter of a few feet between up all night or blessed sleep! I’ve come to terms with the fact it’s going to happen, wouldn’t it feel better to be rested? 5 hours is an unusually good night for me.
I hope this helps give you some options to noodle around. With incontinence it is definitely a leave your ego at the door type proposition. At times it just seems like every day takes a bit of give & take & negotiation with self as to what signifies VICTORY!
I truly wish y’all the best, and I hope I helped you just a little bit Sarah.

They just stuck something in my IV, best I sign off about now!
Night!

 

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@Sprung87 Thanks for all the tips! I keep hearing how bulky cloth is so I don't want to go that route because I'm going for discreet as much as possible.. usually pads are sufficient for me but it I will just have random times when I will have a bigger incident that causes an embarrassing leak if only using a pad. I have now switched to overnight pull-ups for night-time as that is when I have larger accidents if I stand up after having been lying down several hours. During the day I have urges and go to the bathroom frequently but usually can make it if I'm home and close to the bathroom.

 

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@Sarah060486 Sorry that I’m so late to the conversation. I did see that you had asked about cloth like tape on diapers, NorthShore Care Supply has some decent ones and they provide samples, but they do require you to pay a $10 shipping fee, I would recommend you try some samples in different styles and sizes to see what works best for you. With any type of tape on diaper it can be helpful to wear close fitting underwear over the top of them, this will help to keep things in place and in the case of the plastic backed ones it will help to reduce the noise. I can understand you’re hesitancy to make the switch to this type of product, it’s not for everyone, but for many people we find that it’s better to be over protected than under protected and with time it’s something that you get used to.

 

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Reading back over your comments suggests that you incontinence comes at least once at night, and at random times during the day. I really do think a good uro-gynecologist or nurse specialist could help assess the problem from a medical standpoint and likely help you by "retraining" your bladder and pelvic floor exercises (you can do these virtually anytime you aren't walking around--reading a story, watching the television, folding clothes,driving, etc.) Also, having a stress test for your bladder, and charting how much you drink and when could help in devising a plan to help bring some normalcy back for you. For example, an intermittent catheter at bedtime might allow you to sleep through the night--something you clearly need with four young children! I know that seems like a lot of trouble, but it could forestall more problems ahead and perhaps reduce the stress on your body and mind! Google "retraining bladder" and look for the items that end in .edu or .gov in the US, not sure what the equivalent is in the UK. But please do it, and soon!

 

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@Etowah Thanks, yeah I had the urodynamics test done and it had alarming results but my actual incontinence is not as severe as the test results would suggest. My nighttime issue is only if I get up and can't get to the restroom immediately.. I am working on Kegels to strengthen my muscles more because I don't want to have to succumb to needing protection 24/7 for the rest of my life. The urologist I saw won't do anything until medicine proves ineffective, and those medications are not an option for me right now because I'm nursing so my only option are Kegels/physical therapy but I can't afford the therapy. But I do feel like I'm making progress slowly and using less pads than before.

 

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Sarah,

I am an older mom. I understand the challenges you face. For me I have found tranquility brand to be a reliable product.

Hugs, Mary

 

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Brand names are often used instead of generic names; even generic names are not always precisely used with the same meaning. I am often left confused about what kind of incontinence wear is being referred to. The sex of the intended user is not always specified on the packet. Maybe there is no need: perhaps it should be left to the user to choose whether they feel it would be suitable for them. Our incontinence wear touches some of the most sensitive parts of our bodies most, if not all day and all night too. Incontinence is not a fun condition: I take any opportunity to make it less depressing.

There are several types of incontinence with different amounts and regimes of leakage (Urinary incontinence - NHS (www.nhs.uk; Bowel incontinence - NHS (www.nhs.uk)): which partly accounts for the variety of protection. A good way to start the search for suitable protection is the Internet. A click on incontinence knickers - Google Search . reveals the enormous variety. This can be followed by choosing a few of what look the closest to your needs; a click on these sites to follow through with your requirements - size, level of absorption, appearance, cost ....

Many people express concerns about whether incontinence wear will be detectable beneath outer clothing; some feel restricted to clothing which will hide the fact that we are incontinent: so a less bulky alternative might be preferable so long as it does the job. There is also the issue of how we feel about the appearance of our incontinence wear when it is seen by nurses, carers, partners or whoever. Certainly manufacturers pay attention to making their products look attractive, in many cases, as close in appearance to normal underwear as they can.

For some, life style will influence the significance they attach to appearance. I spend all day in a wheelchair and all night flat on my back in bed. More active people are likely to be more concerned about whether their incontinence wear is hidden by their outer clothing.


TYPES OF INCONTINENCE WEAR
There is some imprecision in defining what is incontinence. From puberty until my accident I wore paper towels in my underwear to soak up any dribbles after peeing and leaks of semen. I did not think of myself as being incontinent. (This was long before a spinal injury made me doubly incontinent in 2013.) How much dribbling makes someone incontinent? How often must a considerable accident have to occur for someone to be incontinent?
Many kinds of normal underwear, both male and female, have a double layer or gusset where there is likely to be a small amount of leakage.
For those who are more heavily incontinent, protective wear is usually thought of as being in two groups: pull-ups and diapers. Pull-ups are those which are held in place by a continuous waistband like normal underwear; diapers are those which open at the waist. Each of these two main groups have many varieties. Some of those with a continuous waistband are sometimes referred to as 'diapers'. Perhaps whether they open at the waist or pull up is not important - but it does make some difference to how they are put on and changed, to their appearance and is related to their capacity and level of protection.

Pull-ups
There are many kinds of adapted pants and knickers on the market for light incontinence. There are many brands of washable or disposable pants and knickers adapted to take pads or with absorbent areas. Some are intended to be single-sex. The pads when sold separately can be single- or unisex. Fixation pants and knickers are non-absorbent; they hold an incontinence pad in place. Many are unisex - no front exit for men; nurses and carers usually refer to mine as knickers, pants or nets. The manufacturers often just refer to them by their brand name chosen to give a hint of what they are; mine have a pictogram to give a further clue, announcing that they are fixation pants for incontinence pads in microscopic print in 20+ languages on the back of the packet. Another minute pictogram showing how to determine your size shows a figure of indeterminate gender, leaving the sex of the intended user equally uncertain.
They are more stretchy than is usual for ordinary underwear and so take a pad more readily. The leg holes are tighter than those in normal maxi briefs to prevent the pad from slipping through. The pad can be unisex or single sex. It is to be expected that the difference would be in the length at the front. My unisex pads extend from the top of my bum crevice to far enough up at the front to cover my suprapubic catheter.
Most kinds of pants or knickers for light incontinence are pull-ups but some can be used for much heavier leakages. I use my fixation knickers with a pad of 1,200 ml. capacity but could take a pad of greater absorbency.
Whether the pad is fixed to the pants, such as in a pocket, or just covered by them might be significant for those who have an active lifestyle. Some fixation pants, including mine, allow the pad to be moved in them.

Diapers
These open out flat. A large absorbent pad to covers the area likely to be affected by urine or faeces. Usually they have plastic sides with one or two adhesive tabs, or in some kinds, 3 or 4 studs on each side to hold them securely around the body between the groin and the waist. Diapers can be bulky: some users would feel that they would not like to wear close-fitting trousers or other outer wear which would reveal the outline. They can also make a crinkling sound as the wearer moves. Cloth diapers (USA)/nappies (UK) are made of square, absorbent, washable material held in place by safety pins or something more modern. There are many brands of cloth diapers/nappies shaped like plastic ones with fastening studs at each side. Occasionally they are referred to as 'napkins' but in the UK this is more usual for smaller squares of lighter material used at the dinner table to clear up stray bits of food from around the mouth or fingers or to prevent the soiling of clothes - similar in purpose to nappies but at the other end of the alimentary canal. In the UK, 'nappies' usually refer to babies: some adults would be offended if their incontinence wear were referred to in this way.

Pants made of plastic, rubber or other waterproof material can be worn over any of these types of incontinence wear for extra protection.

Diapers, pull-ups, fixation pants, nets or knickers with many brand names are really all variations of ways to hold a pad of absorbent material in place and to be able to get access to it as needed. The differences between the variety of incontinence wear amount to a few features: amount of absorbency; whether they open with tapes or studs (diapers), usually at the sides or whether they are sufficiently stretchy so that no opening is needed (pull-ups or fixation pants); material used: waterproof (usually plastic or rubber) or textile; washable or disposable. This is likely to affect cost. My washable fixation pants cost very little. I use only about six per year. The last pack I bought cost £6 for 25. I use one disposable pad per day costing around 30-35p.
Are Washable Incontinence Knickers Suitable for You?