Is there any hope????

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I am joining on behalf of my 17 year old who has wet the bed EVERY night since birth (except maybe 7 times when he was dehydrated over the years). We have seen a Urologist, and other than Desmopressin for sleep overs, there is not much else that was offered. We did a VCUG to look for kidney reflux and any other obvious signs of a structural issue, multiple ultrasounds... nothing shows as problematic. He wets so much at night, it saturates his bed sheets and sheet liners for the bed protection... no "diaper" contains his urine amount even with liners. The smell is very strong and yes we tested for infection many times... We have tried night alarms which he sleeps through most of the time and trying to train his bladder during the day to go more frequently then also holding to try to stretch out his bladder... he has given up hope that he will ever have a normal dry night. He is starting to date and is terrified at the thought of having to explain this to a girlfriend at some point. I would love some advice about things we can try, specialists we can see (we live near Seattle) or ideas for containing the urine... He is depressed and I know this condition is part of the reason he feels this way. I am hoping some of you can help me find some solutions and management ideas. He wants to go off to college but a dorm is out of the question for sure...

 

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Hello my friend, we have many people here with rather unexplained bladder and night wetting issues. You will surely get great advice, he is far from alone in this and i cant understand for the life of me how a person can be able to hold it during the day but not at night, myself included.
I can say this however, if i fall asleep sitting up in a chair or propped to a half tilt sit with pillows i wake to peeor dont have to get up until 7 or 8 am
An avenue we have discussed here but have no current feed back is a well respected accupunturist. One lady said a good one helped her but she moved and another did not.
Another thing weve been discussing lately is a chiropractor because a pinched nerve type of thing might be relevant to some.

 

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What kind of diapers have you tried?
I’m sure that he doesn’t want to be back in diapers at 17, but if you’ve only tried store brands like Depend pull-ups or whatever, there are much better than that out there. My advice is to try the confidry 24/7 or the north shore mega max and a good bed pad. For now I think this is your best bet, is a premium level adult diaper.

 

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E.…, there is hope and much more, I can tell you. Your son is one in a large community of incontinent males, some of whom leak at night, while others mostly daytime. I'm in the mostly daytime crowd, with less at night. (I sleep on my back and hydrate little after 4 pm.) I will shortly begin a conversation within this forum in regards to external devices and why so many have chosen to deal with leakage rather than reduce it. For now, I will offer your son one of our prototype silicone sleeve devices that I wear regularly (14 hours per day with no removal or adjustment), if one of our four sizes will work for him. Our units are now patent pending and so are not in full production, as yet. I would be happy to send one or two, if he is at least 5'7" tall, which means there's a chance one will work. He wouldn't be aware that he is wearing it. We have had volunteers from this site and others testing our units since last summer and would welcome another candidate. (I'm three years into this, or the predecessor, models.) Respond here or catch me at amhelp@comcast.net, if he has an interest. Best wishes. Fynlee

 

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What kind of diapers have you tried?

Thank you for offering some product ideas-- where can one order these more absorbent adult diapers? Confidry and North Shore products sound like a good place to start for him.

 

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e. I will offer your son one of our prototype silicone sleeve devices that I wear regularly (14 hours per day with no removal or adjustment), if one of our four sizes will work for him. Our units are now patent pending and so are not in full production, as yet. I would be happy to send one or two, if he is at least 5'7" tall, which means there's a chance one will work. He wouldn't be aware that he is wearing it.

THAT IS AWESOME! I am sure he would be willing to try this out. He is close to 6 feet tall so the size would work for him. I will email you... thank you...

 

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First, I'm glad he has a family that cares like you do for him, even though nothing seems to be going right for a while. Its hard for me right now to offer any answers that will completely open a new door for him. But I must say my Mother was the reason I found a way to find myself. It is no easy answers, I understand that. But I teared up reading your post as, I thought how my Mom stuck with me, through some horrible times.
I will pray for him, and others here will also.

But one more thing, You are the best.

 

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Try this website to start with. They carry the mega max (they’re own house brand) and the dry 24/7. These are thick, premium disposable diapers, but they will definitely be better than anything he has tried already. They aren’t cheap, but they are absorbent.

Super-Absorbent Adult Diapers with Tabs I NorthShore

Are you looking for reliable adult diapers with tabs? Shop NorthShore's top-selling tabbed diapers and stay leak-free day and night! Plus sizes are available.

www.northshorecare.com

 

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First, I'm glad he has a family that cares like you do for him, even though nothing seems to be going right for a while. Its hard for me right now to offer any answers that will completely open a new door for him. But I must say my Mother was the reason I found a way to find myself. It is no easy answers, I understand that. But I teared up reading your post as, I thought how my Mom stuck with me, through some horrible times.
I will pray for him, and others here will also.

But one more thing, You are the best.

Awe! Thank you for the kind words! Your mom sounds amazing... I'm glad you feel that way about her. I hope I can help him find a way to live with this condition if I cannot find a way to fix it. Life is hard enough without things like this to manage. He has to manage a lot in his life and as his mom, I will never stop looking for ways to help him conquer what cannot be changed.

 

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Your warmly welcome, and you can see from others here, were going to get to work to help him have a good plan.

I do know I try to hydrate myself early in the day, I drink about 100 ounces of water before 3pm,( I'm 64 thou) so I have that out of the way. Yes as I'm sure you know he will probably need 64 ounces and he can probably go longer like 5-6pm. Good diapers, and they are out there with doubles or inserts, that as he wets he can pull that one out, and keep going. There are overpants that are pretty quiet too, for those times he needs to be sure. I hope he has a very understanding PCP, yes PCP, as she has helped me much more then my urologist. I can email her when things are not going right for me, and she will help me.

Please lean on a good PCP and I have a pretty good PA under my urologist that will answer my emails too.

Keep asking questions or just talk, will help.

Dating is very possible, and a caring friend is necessary, my Mom told me, if she doesn't get it, then you wont get her!

Lynn

 

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Hi there - and welcome to the forum and our community here. This is a great and very helpful group of people. I am pretty much in the same exact boat as your son. Lifelong bedwetter - every night - and have been since birth. For me, it's simply come down to the fact I have to wear a diaper to bed at night. It's the only way I can sleep comfortably - AND wake up well rested and not in a soaking wet bed. Diapers are the only thing that have worked for me at night, and I've tried everything, including external catheters and sleeves.

I completely second PBJ32's recommendations on the diapers. I LOVE the ConfiDry 24/7. I think it's the best diaper on the market, and it rarely if ever leaks for me, and I am a very heavy wetter. I suggest going to the website xpmedical.com (the owner of the company is incontinent, like all of us here), and order a sample pack of various diapers for your son to try. I have no doubt he'll find one that works for him - and he'll start waking up in a dry bed in the morning.

As for college and the dorms, don't write that off and assume it can't happen. You can very discretely tell the school that your son has a medical issue that requires some privacy and a single room. Most schools will be more than willing and able to accommodate him. (Mine did!).

Finally, please tell your son not to worry about dating. He can date a lot and be able to go quite a while before having to share this with a girlfriend. He'll know when the time is right to say something. And if she doesn't handle it well.....well then, she doesn't deserve him.

Tell your son there are many, many men like him, and we have found a way to live great, happy, productive and exciting lives, despite having to wear diapers to bed.

Your son is incredibly lucky to have a mom like you!

 

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Well said So Cal

 

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Thank you, Maymay!

 

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Hi there - and welcome to the forum and our community here. This is a great and very helpful group of people. I am pretty much in the same exact boat as your son. Lifelong bedwetter - every night - and have been since birth. For me, it's simply come down to the fact I have to wear a diaper to bed at night. It's the only way I can sleep comfortably - AND wake up well rested and not in a soaking wet bed. Diapers are the only thing that have worked for me at night, and I've tried everything, including external catheters and sleeves.

I completely second PBJ32's recommendations on the diapers. I LOVE the ConfiDry 24/7. I think it's the best diaper on the market, and it rarely if ever leaks for me, and I am a very heavy wetter. I suggest going to the website xpmedical.com (the owner of the company is incontinent, like all of us here), and order a sample pack of various diapers for your son to try. I have no doubt he'll find one that works for him - and he'll start waking up in a dry bed in the morning.

As for college and the dorms, don't write that off and assume it can't happen. You can very discretely tell the school that your son has a medical issue that requires some privacy and a single room. Most schools will be more than willing and able to accommodate him. (Mine did!).

Finally, please tell your son not to worry about dating. He can date a lot and be able to go quite a while before having to share this with a girlfriend. He'll know when the time is right to say something. And if she doesn't handle it well.....well then, she doesn't deserve him.

Tell your son there are many, many men like him, and we have found a way to live great, happy, productive and exciting lives, despite having to wear diapers to bed.

Your son is incredibly lucky to have a mom like you!

Thank you so much!!! I am feeling more hopeful already. I will order some diapers for him... in terms of sizing, any advice... my son is close to 6 feet tall and build very solid-- football player build. I am thinking XL if they offer them in this size. I am assuming if they have tabs, he can tighten them to fit. It may take him awhile to figure out how to get them tabbed in the right spot? Do you use a bed pad/liner that works well in case of leaks?

 

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I am so glad you're feeling more hopeful! It's important that YOU have hope (as well as your son).

Sizing can depend on a variety of factors, including weight and waist size. But if you're ordering the ConfiDry 24/7 diapers, just know they run a little on the large side, so probably a large would be perfect for your son. Each type of diaper that xpmedical sells has a sizing guide to help you get the right and best fit. And yes, these diapers have tabs that can be adjusted to get fit exactly right once the diaper is on. Your son will get the hang of it very quickly. Trust me!

I don't use a bed pad, because this diaper rarely if ever leaks for me. But when I have used products that didn't work as well and needed to protect my bed, I had a plastic mattress cover. I assume you have one of those on his bed?

 

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Evans.. Yes there is hope. I started bed wetting at 15 so I know first hand the depressed state that your son is in... Big thing is getting quality protection and giving him as much support as possible. I second looking at Xp Medical. Independence with this type of issue is huge. One huge tip... Any time he goes to the doctor Plain it for the morning then do something he likes the rest of the day. Talking to doctors, getting test done is stressful. It help me greatly.

 

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Evans, you can ask for free samples of diapers they will send several in each style at least northshore does. Super customer support very alert and nice.

 

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I did a Live Chat with Northshore just now and they are sending him a few samples of the Mega Max diaper! How cool is that? Thank you to everyone who has helped us today. I also messaged XPmedical.com to see if they are willing to send us a sample of the Confidry 24/7... I'm hoping we find one he likes and can stay dry in.

 

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He might FEEL unique and alone but as you can see, he is NOT. I bet So Cal and FlGuy would be willing to chat in private messages they are similar age and predicament.

 

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@evans I wish you and your son the best of luck.