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Archives1
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@Damp It is difficult for me to imagine going from a position of bladder control to lack of control. So the reverse must be true. It must be difficult for someone losing control as an adult to understand how casual it can be for someone who’s always worn diapers.
I was in diapers until first grade when my mom sent me to school in thick cotton training pants. The school nurse had extra pairs and if I wet myself, she’d change me. So I was there a lot but eventually got to be point where I’d need only 1 change in the morning and sometimes a change in the afternoon. As soon as I got home from school I’d be back in diapers.
I never had regular briefs until middle school when I had to undress for gym class. But I wore them with a cloth diaper folded and used as a pad. I grew up in the 1960s and 70s. Disposable diapers were new in the 60s and I had cloth diapers, pins, and plastic pants until I went to college and left home with early versions of Attends. My preference is still a cloth diaper for both comfort and protection. They don’t work to well with trousers due to thickness so I use them mostly at home where I can wear just sweatpants or no pants at all.
I read about guys having issues with bulk. But I’m the opposite. I grew up in a bulky diaper. I feel naked without it.
There were other issues I dealt with - teasing, bullying, no friends - but they were pale in comparison to the dysfunction at home. The teasing wasn’t all that bad as there were other outcasts that got it worse than myself. For high school I got a Hail Mary pass. Due to a state mandated merger, I attended a brand new school three times the size of the local school and got a reboot on the social network. I had gained enough control to get through a school day with a lot of bathroom trips allowing me to end the day only damp. But the down side was holding urine to the point where I actually did damage and accelerated my total loss of urine control.
I never saw a urologist until I was 25. For the first time ever I was diagnosed and didn’t hear that I was just slow to be trained. By the time I turned 40 I lost all control and was in diapers 24/7. Wearing briefs with pads simply wasn’t an option any longer. And I never gained control at night. Always a very heavy bedwetter.
I’ve always lived with wet pants, diaper bags, lots of laundry, awkward situations, and everything that goes with it but it’s normal to me.
My friends all know I wear diapers and on occasion, when planning an event, they’ll make sure I’m not stranded on a plane or desert island too long that I won’t be able to change my diaper. Now that we’re all older, there’s lots of health issues that need consideration. I’ve had a number of friends ask me about diapers because of leaky bladders, prostate issues, and so on. With our collective experience, we have a heart man, cancer man, diabetes man, etc, where we get information. So I guess I’m the diaper man. Haha! What a hoot - Diaperman! But I’m ok with that, as long as it doesn’t end up on my tombstone.
Thanks to technology there’s always been a network of incontinent people going back to the 1990s. It’s now a Stone Age platform but if you remember IRC - internet relay chat - there was an incon channel where we’d meet regularly for scheduled chats. Folks connecting with like interests is nothing new. People will always find a way. I never met any of the folks on that channel but I came to know them through shared experiences and sadly many have since died.
A bit early but here’s to a new year in 2021. I wish good health, peace, and prosperity to all. That includes those who don’t wish to share in this forum, as you channeling my younger self exploring the world with an open mind and in a diaper.
I was in diapers until first grade when my mom sent me to school in thick cotton training pants. The school nurse had extra pairs and if I wet myself, she’d change me. So I was there a lot but eventually got to be point where I’d need only 1 change in the morning and sometimes a change in the afternoon. As soon as I got home from school I’d be back in diapers.
I never had regular briefs until middle school when I had to undress for gym class. But I wore them with a cloth diaper folded and used as a pad. I grew up in the 1960s and 70s. Disposable diapers were new in the 60s and I had cloth diapers, pins, and plastic pants until I went to college and left home with early versions of Attends. My preference is still a cloth diaper for both comfort and protection. They don’t work to well with trousers due to thickness so I use them mostly at home where I can wear just sweatpants or no pants at all.
I read about guys having issues with bulk. But I’m the opposite. I grew up in a bulky diaper. I feel naked without it.
There were other issues I dealt with - teasing, bullying, no friends - but they were pale in comparison to the dysfunction at home. The teasing wasn’t all that bad as there were other outcasts that got it worse than myself. For high school I got a Hail Mary pass. Due to a state mandated merger, I attended a brand new school three times the size of the local school and got a reboot on the social network. I had gained enough control to get through a school day with a lot of bathroom trips allowing me to end the day only damp. But the down side was holding urine to the point where I actually did damage and accelerated my total loss of urine control.
I never saw a urologist until I was 25. For the first time ever I was diagnosed and didn’t hear that I was just slow to be trained. By the time I turned 40 I lost all control and was in diapers 24/7. Wearing briefs with pads simply wasn’t an option any longer. And I never gained control at night. Always a very heavy bedwetter.
I’ve always lived with wet pants, diaper bags, lots of laundry, awkward situations, and everything that goes with it but it’s normal to me.
My friends all know I wear diapers and on occasion, when planning an event, they’ll make sure I’m not stranded on a plane or desert island too long that I won’t be able to change my diaper. Now that we’re all older, there’s lots of health issues that need consideration. I’ve had a number of friends ask me about diapers because of leaky bladders, prostate issues, and so on. With our collective experience, we have a heart man, cancer man, diabetes man, etc, where we get information. So I guess I’m the diaper man. Haha! What a hoot - Diaperman! But I’m ok with that, as long as it doesn’t end up on my tombstone.
Thanks to technology there’s always been a network of incontinent people going back to the 1990s. It’s now a Stone Age platform but if you remember IRC - internet relay chat - there was an incon channel where we’d meet regularly for scheduled chats. Folks connecting with like interests is nothing new. People will always find a way. I never met any of the folks on that channel but I came to know them through shared experiences and sadly many have since died.
A bit early but here’s to a new year in 2021. I wish good health, peace, and prosperity to all. That includes those who don’t wish to share in this forum, as you channeling my younger self exploring the world with an open mind and in a diaper.
Archives1
Staff member
I think in a lot of ways on here my age both works for and against me. I'm almost 24 so a lot of times it feels like not many people here understand or have great advice for managing incontinence while being an active young adult which can be rather frustrating but at the same time, even though I was dry for a good while I've always had bladder issues so on the other side, I'm a little more accepting of my condition than I feel others are. I was mostly dry during the day by about 3 but still had decently frequent accidents to the extent I had to have a change of clothes available at school through 2nd grade. I also wasn't fully dry at night until around then. When I was 6 I was diagnosed with an overactive bladder and put on medication.he medication gave me terrible side effects and I was off of it after a year or so. In 5th grade, I started having accidents again because I had a teacher who wouldn't let us go to the bathroom except during breaks who didn't understand that just because I didn't need to go when the break happened that didn't mean that I wouldn't be about to wet myself 15 minutes later with no warning. I'm also so ADHD that I have a bad tendency to hyperfocus on things and not want to stop doing them which isn't the best when the urge hits. After 5th grade though I was dry until college when I started having occasional nighttime accidents which have continued off and on and seem to be related to stress and my sleep cycle but towards the end of college I started having worse and worse urges during the day which was frustrating when I would be in class or taking a test and suddenly I'd have to go so bad that I would have to divert my focus to my bladder to stop from having an accident and before long I was having occasional accidents which have continued to worsen, it has gotten to the point that while I probably could go without protection, in order to function and to not have to excuse myself every 20 minutes on bad days and also to lower my own stress about it. I honestly don't know what it is like for people with a normal bladder because I'm used to when the urge hits having to really focus and squirm and wiggle because it is so uncomfortable to hold it and for me it has always been that way.
Sorry for the wall of text but felt like sharing. I wish there were more resources out there for younger people on managing incontinence. Everything I see is either about fixing the problem which I've tried medication several times and every time it helps but the side effects make me miserable and I don't want surgery because I can manage fine, or it assumes that you either have light incontinence, are old, or have health problems.
Sorry for the wall of text but felt like sharing. I wish there were more resources out there for younger people on managing incontinence. Everything I see is either about fixing the problem which I've tried medication several times and every time it helps but the side effects make me miserable and I don't want surgery because I can manage fine, or it assumes that you either have light incontinence, are old, or have health problems.
Archives1
Staff member
I'm not 24, but don't see myself as old. I am 42, and have been dealing with this for the past ten years or so. I know there have been a number of younger people whom i have seen come across the forum. Several with problems similar to yours. I had some mild problems in early childhood, bedwetting (occasional accidents for lifetime 2--3 year)rare day time accidents after six. Ten years ago it came back with a vengeance. The best suggestion I can make, is don't let it control your life not one bit. I have tried to live my life to the fullest despite it, and kept up with my life. I go hiking in diapers, roller blading, traveling visiting friends and family. A rock climbing gym is opening up here before long, and i will do that in diapers.
I definitely need diapers at night, daytime is debatable. My bladder is supper inconsistent, typical is a few small accidents a couple times a week, that could be controlled by underwear. I have days where urgency hits every 20 minutes, some of these days i wet, others i don't. Originally i would only wear on these days. I also have times i have the big painful bladder spasms where everything explodes about once a month. This almost always happens at home. I wear for the big what if. I remember early on, i was similar to you and having urgency every 20 minutes. I made the same choice and wore protection, just so I could have my life. Also made the choice the to use them at times, even if i could have made it to the bathroom every 20 minutes, because life comes first. I could be dry all day and a hermit, all i could say ^&&(^^&(*^ it and let it go (theme music going in the background). I would still try to go to the bathroom when i could, but chose to not have my bladder be in control of me. I chose life the way i wanted it in the best way i could have it.
You have to decide for yourself how you will manage it. I have had some horrible urologists (no good ones yet), partly because i don't want to travel 100 miles for another one. They have pushed meds, but the side effects were not worth it. Flomax keeps me from locking up, but otherwise i don't take anything. They have talked surgery, but once again it does not seem worth it.
You have to define your own path, and let nothing get in your way.
I definitely need diapers at night, daytime is debatable. My bladder is supper inconsistent, typical is a few small accidents a couple times a week, that could be controlled by underwear. I have days where urgency hits every 20 minutes, some of these days i wet, others i don't. Originally i would only wear on these days. I also have times i have the big painful bladder spasms where everything explodes about once a month. This almost always happens at home. I wear for the big what if. I remember early on, i was similar to you and having urgency every 20 minutes. I made the same choice and wore protection, just so I could have my life. Also made the choice the to use them at times, even if i could have made it to the bathroom every 20 minutes, because life comes first. I could be dry all day and a hermit, all i could say ^&&(^^&(*^ it and let it go (theme music going in the background). I would still try to go to the bathroom when i could, but chose to not have my bladder be in control of me. I chose life the way i wanted it in the best way i could have it.
You have to decide for yourself how you will manage it. I have had some horrible urologists (no good ones yet), partly because i don't want to travel 100 miles for another one. They have pushed meds, but the side effects were not worth it. Flomax keeps me from locking up, but otherwise i don't take anything. They have talked surgery, but once again it does not seem worth it.
You have to define your own path, and let nothing get in your way.
Archives1
Staff member
@greengold4 Your story sounds much like mine. I was horribly equipped at age 25 to navigate the health care system and I did so on my own, and for the first time, accepted that my urinary issues were serious and would impact my adult life in many ways. While the medical field has come a long way since the 1980s, in some ways it’s even more challenging.
There weren’t many meds in the 80s but I did try a couple that came with side effects and they didn’t help at all. It wasn’t until I had some invasive scopes that I was correctly diagnosed. Now I believe the field is more about treatment than diagnosis.
You do have this forum where you can freely express yourself. No apologies are necessary. Please ask for support when you need it. You are not alone in your journey and it’s very likely that others in this forum your age are reading this now. Good luck to you.
There weren’t many meds in the 80s but I did try a couple that came with side effects and they didn’t help at all. It wasn’t until I had some invasive scopes that I was correctly diagnosed. Now I believe the field is more about treatment than diagnosis.
You do have this forum where you can freely express yourself. No apologies are necessary. Please ask for support when you need it. You are not alone in your journey and it’s very likely that others in this forum your age are reading this now. Good luck to you.
Archives1
Staff member
@Mightychi Thanks for your response that actually does really help. I do everything I did before I started needing diapers but I do wish there was a guide to what products are best for various activities and that products were better designed with an active person in mind most products seem to either offer good absorbency or comfort for being active but not both (although Northshore's MegaMax for the most part has performed well for me lately).
That said your issues sound almost identical to mine. So it is really nice to hear from someone in a similar boat. I sometimes struggle with feeling bad because I know I probably could have made it to a restroom if I really made myself uncomfortable or if I miss something but end up using the protection. It doesn't help that I have severe FOMO. It is always a learning process. I just wish there was more out there on how to manage incontinence but not treat it, because a lot of times I feel like a fish out of water figuring stuff like what protection is best for working out or whatever.
That said your issues sound almost identical to mine. So it is really nice to hear from someone in a similar boat. I sometimes struggle with feeling bad because I know I probably could have made it to a restroom if I really made myself uncomfortable or if I miss something but end up using the protection. It doesn't help that I have severe FOMO. It is always a learning process. I just wish there was more out there on how to manage incontinence but not treat it, because a lot of times I feel like a fish out of water figuring stuff like what protection is best for working out or whatever.
Archives1
Staff member
Why do I lurk/visit? Hands down, this is the most intimate and embarrassing part of my life and I prefer to keep it private. I've had bedwetting and OAB with incontinence all my life and have just gotten used to keeping it private. I manage my issues, as many do, with diapers and just go on with life. I'm not big on being a medical science experiment, and prefer staying away from prescriptions since really every other aspect of my health is perfectly normal. I have a very supportive wife who has accepted me as I am, and has been a huge help with normalizing these issues while being respectful of my need for a different type of underwear. She's been a huge blessing in life.
I guess the main reason I haven't posted since joining in 2017 is because I've been learning from everyone here how to navigate this part of my life. I feel as though there isn't much I can contribute because while I've had these issues my whole life, it wasn't until landing here and reading a ton that I became comfortable with how this part of my life is managed. So why post now? Pretty much to say thanks to everyone here for helping shed light on best practices for being discrete and best management techniques. It is also nice to know I'm not alone in this boat.
So while I may not post often, I'm very appreciative of all those here who have shared what works, advised speaking with docs, and who've shared their victories and defeats. It has helped me tremendously over the last few years lead a very normal life while dealing with these issues. Maybe in the near future I'll post more, but for me, this is a huge step for now. Wouldn't be possible without each of you who've posted in this forum.
Thanks All!
I guess the main reason I haven't posted since joining in 2017 is because I've been learning from everyone here how to navigate this part of my life. I feel as though there isn't much I can contribute because while I've had these issues my whole life, it wasn't until landing here and reading a ton that I became comfortable with how this part of my life is managed. So why post now? Pretty much to say thanks to everyone here for helping shed light on best practices for being discrete and best management techniques. It is also nice to know I'm not alone in this boat.
So while I may not post often, I'm very appreciative of all those here who have shared what works, advised speaking with docs, and who've shared their victories and defeats. It has helped me tremendously over the last few years lead a very normal life while dealing with these issues. Maybe in the near future I'll post more, but for me, this is a huge step for now. Wouldn't be possible without each of you who've posted in this forum.
Thanks All!
Archives1
Staff member
Totally understand your statem about private part of your life jetskier. I have forced myself to participate in the forum from the very first time I introduced myself and it still can be an incredible effort some times. I have learned though that the only way to grow stronger as a person is to participate.
Very glad to hear that you have an understanding partner/wife. That is a huge gift as you may b realize for the many single men here.
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year
Very glad to hear that you have an understanding partner/wife. That is a huge gift as you may b realize for the many single men here.
Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year
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