Should I say something?

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Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2016 9:15 pm
Posts: 35
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Im about to go on a business trip for a shoot, and its going to be for a couple of days with one other colleague which also happens to be my boss. We will be flying to the shoot location and Im sure that we will be sleeping in different rooms, but besides that we will be together majority of the time. I dont know if I should say something our just keep everything to myself, I havent told anyone about me having to wear protecrion due to my incontinence other then my wife and some family memebers.

 

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Say nothing.

 

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Say nothing. Nobody's business.

 

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i agree. it is not necessary to say anything. no one needs to know.

 

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I only shared this information with a friend because we were sharing a hotel room. no reason to bring it up otherwise

 

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Nothing. Nadda. Nope. I can remember a few years ago when we were moving classes around our school, an adult bathroom was made "unavailable" to teachers, another is only partially available, we are not allowed to use student bathrooms, which leaves one stall available for the entire school. This also puts it at the other end of the building, on another floor for me. To give you a frame of reference, we are three floors, and I now have to go diagonal from my room, corner to corner of the building. When this change happened, another teacher, who was struggling to get from corner to corner, really petitioned to have this changed. To say that she was not supported is an understatement. She was seen as a bit crazy, which is not surprising because when you are not able to be supported getting to the bathroom one does become a bit crazy. Her position was cut.

We have now extended our days, fewer breaks, and I have days with no assistants for 4+ hours. Even if I have an assistant, I've been told that teachers can train their bladder.

If you are not in this world, you don't "get it." It's like so many of life's experiences. Until you live it, you don't know how to look at it with empathy.

 

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Dear ArtMom,
As part of an educational system, it would seem that health and wellness would be an important component of your inservice education.
(Along with CPR, Safety Awareness,etc). Perhaps someone can suggest that various topics be featured at inservice ed days. The session would be short (take perhaps 20 minutes max). A guest speaker would speak from a personal or professional point of view. Some pathophysiology thrown in and some examples of population segments who have continence issues, the age range, social challenges and how modification have to be made in order to function. Last but not least, who to contact (or how) for more information. Leave a card or provide a handout with bullet points during the presentation.

The teachers could make suggestions as to what would be of interest to the overall group.

Once again, knowledge is power. Anytime you can get another person to "get it", have a "walk in my shoes" moment, you may even get policy changed.

 

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As ideal as that sounds, it is not reality. We can discuss the disabilities of children, but our meetings are not about the disabilities of staff. In order for the disabilities of staff to be addressed becomes a legal issue. That becomes a confrontational issue. Which is far easier to resolve by removing a teacher that it is by changing the physical structure of a building or moving a teacher to another building, etc., etc., etc. The reality is that the teacher will lose their position before this will happen. Even if it makes it so that a teacher is miserable in their job they will find someway to force them out

 

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I'm joining this conversation late, but maybe if the safety, security and dignity of the children with continence issues were the topic? The speaker, a plant from another district, could mention how these issues can follow into adulthood. Statistically speaking at least 1 in 10 face the loosing race to the bathroom. Yesterday, I had to leave the auditorium just as my pastor was getting to his conclusion because my bladder and colon were not wanting to hear the end.

Forcing a skilled teacher out for "misery" is certainly against the ADA guideline. Unfortunately, incontinence is not considered a disability, just and inconvenience.

 

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I have been in too many meetings where people like us are "discussed." There is not sympathy. It becomes a problem staff member. We have a staff member that has a severe physical disability and she is being railed against by the staff that work with her. She is very misassigned for her physical state (small children with issues on the line of bolting.) They will not reassign her to an easier position, in fact last year they had her with preschoolers. The staff need to make a "stink" before the system will support a person. Making a stink means inconveniencing another part of the system. It is not, in any way, a system that will support this without putting a tag on one's back as a trouble maker.

 

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Well wish me luck leaving tomorrow on the plane, Ive come to the conclusion as to not to say a word. I wont be back home until friday, but will keep everyone posted as things unfold. I do feel bad leaving my wife home alone tho for so long!


As for Artman I would beging making the proper steps in making a HR problem because it shouldent be that way!

 

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Hi Bobaan 48,
I had one thought that might help.

Since you are a guy you can't carry a tote, like a purse around with you, but men do carry messenger bags regularly.

If you take your PPE equipment, wipes, whatever kinds of pads, and those diposable grocery bags,you may be able to do your personal hygiene and disposal without anyone noticing. In other words, instead of leaving things in the hotel room, if you don't have your own bathroom, just pack up your items in a plastic bag and dispose in a different location that is regularly emptied. You might even take several "bounce" type dryer sheets and put one in the plastic bag with the items to be disposed so as to decrease any potential odor. Good luck...