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Hi everyone. I'm 35, male. New member here with a new problem that I'm really struggling with. Some background: I wet the bed a little as a kid but not a major issue. I outgrew it quite young, young enough in fact that I only have a couple memories of it. After it resolved (before grade school) I have for the rest of my life been dry other than maybe one bedwetting accident per year. I was always under the impression that this was totally normal and not even considered to be an issue.
In the last 6-8 months the frequency has drastically accelerated. Most accidents are very small volume and I've been able to hide it from my wife. usually it's just my shorts that get wet and sometimes a very small spot on the bed that is dry by morning.
About a month ago I had an accident that I couldn't hide. I was a LOT and soaked the bed. She didn't wake so I changed and then slept on towels. I had to tell my wife in the morning though because we get out of bed at the same time and she instantly makes the bed and would have seen the towels and asked. So right before getting out of bed I said, "hey I need to change the bedding today". She asked why and I said, "I wet the bed last night and slept on these towels" and moved to show her the towels. She was very surprised and though it was kind of funny. She giggled a little and said ok we'll just wash them and whatever. We have a 1.5 year old named after me and she quipped, "wow bow both my Mike's wet the bed" and giggled. When I left for work she said "have a good day peepee bed". I know it sounds as I write it like she was being mean or mocking me but it really was light hearted teasing. At this time we both thought this was a one time thing, I was super embarrassed and I think she was just trying to bring a little levity to the situation. Later that night when I was making the bed up, she asked if I googled why this happened or if I had any idea or thoughts as to why i did it. I didn't look it up that day and just told her I had no idea. It was just something that happened. I woke up and was just as surprised by it as she was. I had not "pee dream" or anything and have no idea. I didn't tell her about my relatively frequent small volume accidents.
We moved on and never discussed it again. Until about 2 weeks later when it happened again. Same drill in the morning with the "hey I have to change the bedding again" and her asking "are you serious? What happened? Did you have another accident?". I told her I did and that I felt humiliated and couldn't even look at her. She didn't giggle or joke this time and told me to just stop and relax and that it's not that big of a deal. She said we'd clean the bed up and move on. She did ask again if I had any dream or anything, but again I simply woke up drenched.
To make matters worse, it happened again the very next night. This time I woke her and when she woke up and asked what's wrong I told her I wet the bed again. we got up, I got changed and she stripped the bed and we put a new sheet on. She asked if I was ok and I told her I was but that I was like sick to my stomach with embarrassment. She said, "why it's just me. Yeah this is odd but we'll figure it out" and we went back to bed.
I was dry for a good week and a half or so after that and thought maybe this was over with but it's not. Since then, almost 2 weeks ago I've wet the bet with large voids maybe 4 nights per week. After like the 3rd time my wife told me I should call my doctor and make sure nothing is really wrong. She also said we should get something for the mattress and I agreed. As embarrassing as it is for an adult to have to put bedwetting protection on the mattress, it's practical and makes sense.
I called my primary care doctor and left a message for him to call me. He called a couple days later and i told him I was having nocturnal enuresis "issues" and he referred me to a urologist as he wants to rule out anything major. He said he didn't suspect that since my yearly physical was only a few months ago and all my blood work and urine tests came back normal except I have pre-diabetes, possible early actual diabetes and a very small amount of protein in my urine He wants to recheck my blood sugar in a month to confirm if I'm diabetic or not. Since then, I've been eating like a robot, exercising and I'm down 10 lbs. I check my sugar 3 times a day and it's steadily coming down. It was never super high, just a little over the threshold. Back to the current conversation, he also said he thinks I should finally get around to having that sleep study done because he and I both know I have undiagnosed sleep apnea (my dad had it, I snore like mad, and my wife says I stop breathing in my sleep and gasp for air and it sounds like I'm dying). He said both diabetes and sleep apnea have been linked, though no very common, to nocturnal enuresis. He suggested I manage the issue with "absorbants" until I can get it sorted out with the specialists.
I told my wife this and she said I should go ahead and make the urology appointment and that she thinks I should go ahead and get something absorbant to wear to bed. When I said I agree that that makes practical sense, I'm like paralyzed with humiliation over it. She told me it will be our secret but that she really doesn't like this new routine of having to wash sheets every day and that we'll both probably sleep better. She's very good at calming me down and grounding me, but I'm still just intensely embarrassed about it. My heart starts pounding whenever I even think about having to use adult diapers. I'm 35 for god's sake.
This conversation was just last night so I know my wife is probably expecting to see adult diapers at home tonight. Not that I'd leave them on the kitchen table but you know...I know if I don't buy them she's going to be kind of frustrated, which I get, but I'm like mortified by the thought of having to go into a walgreens or something and buy them. I'm trying to psyche myself up to do it on the way home from work, but even then I don't know how I'll bring myself to put one on and get in bed with her. I've read online that the drugstore brands are junk and that I'll probably have to order something better online but I need to buy something to hold me over until I can order them and the get delivered.
Anyway my question to you more experienced folks is what am I in for? How much poking and prodding am I to expect at the urologist? I'm terrified of having to have a cystoscopy done. My dad used to get them because he had (and it was cured) bladder cancer and got them all the time. He used to say it was humiliating putting your legs in stirrups with female nurses in the room while the doctor went up your urethra with a scope. If I have to, I have to but I'm freaking over it. My appointment is 2 weeks away and in the meantime my wife is expecting me to wear adult diapers to bed.
As far as meds go, I've looked up DDAVP and Imipramine and both are contraindicated for people with liver and kidney issues. I've had moderately elevated liver enzymes since I was a teenager and my doctors always want me to avoid any meds that could injure my liver, even tylenol. I might have very early kidney issues. Nothing diagnosed but my glomerular filtration rate and serum creatinine are very close to crossing the threshold into abnormal. I also had micro protein in my urine during my last physical which can be a sign of early kidney disease. Reading about it, I'm terrified of ending up with serious kidney disease and dialysis later in life so even if a doctor thinks these drugs are safe for me, I'm not taking them.
What other alternatives are there? Can something like this just come and go and not have a serious cause? Could it just go away in a few months or am I going to end up in diapers every night for the rest of my life? I'm freaking out and so humiliated about this. I know my wife will be solid support no matter what, but I'm already getting ahead of myself and thinking about all kinds of life limitations I'll face (weekends away at relatives houses, falling asleep on airplanes or trains or someone's couch, always needing to pack "supplies" etc). This can't really be happening to me!
In the last 6-8 months the frequency has drastically accelerated. Most accidents are very small volume and I've been able to hide it from my wife. usually it's just my shorts that get wet and sometimes a very small spot on the bed that is dry by morning.
About a month ago I had an accident that I couldn't hide. I was a LOT and soaked the bed. She didn't wake so I changed and then slept on towels. I had to tell my wife in the morning though because we get out of bed at the same time and she instantly makes the bed and would have seen the towels and asked. So right before getting out of bed I said, "hey I need to change the bedding today". She asked why and I said, "I wet the bed last night and slept on these towels" and moved to show her the towels. She was very surprised and though it was kind of funny. She giggled a little and said ok we'll just wash them and whatever. We have a 1.5 year old named after me and she quipped, "wow bow both my Mike's wet the bed" and giggled. When I left for work she said "have a good day peepee bed". I know it sounds as I write it like she was being mean or mocking me but it really was light hearted teasing. At this time we both thought this was a one time thing, I was super embarrassed and I think she was just trying to bring a little levity to the situation. Later that night when I was making the bed up, she asked if I googled why this happened or if I had any idea or thoughts as to why i did it. I didn't look it up that day and just told her I had no idea. It was just something that happened. I woke up and was just as surprised by it as she was. I had not "pee dream" or anything and have no idea. I didn't tell her about my relatively frequent small volume accidents.
We moved on and never discussed it again. Until about 2 weeks later when it happened again. Same drill in the morning with the "hey I have to change the bedding again" and her asking "are you serious? What happened? Did you have another accident?". I told her I did and that I felt humiliated and couldn't even look at her. She didn't giggle or joke this time and told me to just stop and relax and that it's not that big of a deal. She said we'd clean the bed up and move on. She did ask again if I had any dream or anything, but again I simply woke up drenched.
To make matters worse, it happened again the very next night. This time I woke her and when she woke up and asked what's wrong I told her I wet the bed again. we got up, I got changed and she stripped the bed and we put a new sheet on. She asked if I was ok and I told her I was but that I was like sick to my stomach with embarrassment. She said, "why it's just me. Yeah this is odd but we'll figure it out" and we went back to bed.
I was dry for a good week and a half or so after that and thought maybe this was over with but it's not. Since then, almost 2 weeks ago I've wet the bet with large voids maybe 4 nights per week. After like the 3rd time my wife told me I should call my doctor and make sure nothing is really wrong. She also said we should get something for the mattress and I agreed. As embarrassing as it is for an adult to have to put bedwetting protection on the mattress, it's practical and makes sense.
I called my primary care doctor and left a message for him to call me. He called a couple days later and i told him I was having nocturnal enuresis "issues" and he referred me to a urologist as he wants to rule out anything major. He said he didn't suspect that since my yearly physical was only a few months ago and all my blood work and urine tests came back normal except I have pre-diabetes, possible early actual diabetes and a very small amount of protein in my urine He wants to recheck my blood sugar in a month to confirm if I'm diabetic or not. Since then, I've been eating like a robot, exercising and I'm down 10 lbs. I check my sugar 3 times a day and it's steadily coming down. It was never super high, just a little over the threshold. Back to the current conversation, he also said he thinks I should finally get around to having that sleep study done because he and I both know I have undiagnosed sleep apnea (my dad had it, I snore like mad, and my wife says I stop breathing in my sleep and gasp for air and it sounds like I'm dying). He said both diabetes and sleep apnea have been linked, though no very common, to nocturnal enuresis. He suggested I manage the issue with "absorbants" until I can get it sorted out with the specialists.
I told my wife this and she said I should go ahead and make the urology appointment and that she thinks I should go ahead and get something absorbant to wear to bed. When I said I agree that that makes practical sense, I'm like paralyzed with humiliation over it. She told me it will be our secret but that she really doesn't like this new routine of having to wash sheets every day and that we'll both probably sleep better. She's very good at calming me down and grounding me, but I'm still just intensely embarrassed about it. My heart starts pounding whenever I even think about having to use adult diapers. I'm 35 for god's sake.
This conversation was just last night so I know my wife is probably expecting to see adult diapers at home tonight. Not that I'd leave them on the kitchen table but you know...I know if I don't buy them she's going to be kind of frustrated, which I get, but I'm like mortified by the thought of having to go into a walgreens or something and buy them. I'm trying to psyche myself up to do it on the way home from work, but even then I don't know how I'll bring myself to put one on and get in bed with her. I've read online that the drugstore brands are junk and that I'll probably have to order something better online but I need to buy something to hold me over until I can order them and the get delivered.
Anyway my question to you more experienced folks is what am I in for? How much poking and prodding am I to expect at the urologist? I'm terrified of having to have a cystoscopy done. My dad used to get them because he had (and it was cured) bladder cancer and got them all the time. He used to say it was humiliating putting your legs in stirrups with female nurses in the room while the doctor went up your urethra with a scope. If I have to, I have to but I'm freaking over it. My appointment is 2 weeks away and in the meantime my wife is expecting me to wear adult diapers to bed.
As far as meds go, I've looked up DDAVP and Imipramine and both are contraindicated for people with liver and kidney issues. I've had moderately elevated liver enzymes since I was a teenager and my doctors always want me to avoid any meds that could injure my liver, even tylenol. I might have very early kidney issues. Nothing diagnosed but my glomerular filtration rate and serum creatinine are very close to crossing the threshold into abnormal. I also had micro protein in my urine during my last physical which can be a sign of early kidney disease. Reading about it, I'm terrified of ending up with serious kidney disease and dialysis later in life so even if a doctor thinks these drugs are safe for me, I'm not taking them.
What other alternatives are there? Can something like this just come and go and not have a serious cause? Could it just go away in a few months or am I going to end up in diapers every night for the rest of my life? I'm freaking out and so humiliated about this. I know my wife will be solid support no matter what, but I'm already getting ahead of myself and thinking about all kinds of life limitations I'll face (weekends away at relatives houses, falling asleep on airplanes or trains or someone's couch, always needing to pack "supplies" etc). This can't really be happening to me!
