Screw sex!

Archives1

Archives1

Staff member
Okay, another rant!

I know the title of this thread is sort of oxymoronic in verbiage. But that’s how I feel right now… even though I am really a virgin. I don’t care about losing my ability to procreate; no need to consider it. I know men in this forum have cautioned/discouraged having a radical prostatectomy, and I take the warning seriously but I am in so much pain right now that I rather forego the ablation and have the da** thing removed! I feel like my penis is being sent through a meat grinder. The nerves are going crazy right now. I could scream because I am in that much pain; but, NO…… I have to wait until October 26th to have my surgery. Screw the ability to have reproductive sex!
 
MAM,

Go to the ER.

Prolonged pain and discomfort is not healthy. Your situation is not a discretionary procedure and certainly shouldn’t be postponed for 60 days for resolution.

Greensleeves
 
I have been considering it most of the afternoon/evening. I called the doctor on call and they were in agreement with you guys, yet they asked me to try to empty my bladder before going. Once I finally emptied my bladder, the pain went away, so I called back and I was told to monitor it, and then go to the ER immediately if the pain returns.
 
I don’t know your case or the pain you feel, but having sex shouldn’t be your driving factor to relieve your pain. I haven’t had sex in a very long time. I have ED along with total incontinence. My wife, in my opinion, suffers more than me, but she never complains about it. We stay romantic and I try to make up for it in the affection I have for her. There are other ways to satisfy your partner. I am in a lot of pain because of numerous back surgeries and have been for over 20 years. I take opioids to relieve it, but it is always there. I know how people feel about opioids but I need them to live. The times have made it rough for me to get them sometimes. My doctor writes my prescriptions but the pharmacist and insurance companies try to override him and give me a hard time. I wish they could feel my pain! When people who don’t know me, never examined me, or know my history can take it upon themselves to undermine the Doctor and my situation are total idiots and they know nothing. Pain is a real monster and can drive you to do things you otherwise wouldn’t. So, be careful not to choose the wrong thing for pain. Confide in others (your Doctor, your significant other, friends, or forums, etc.) before you decide a course of action. I know it’s tough, but there are always other factors to consider. May God bless you and may whatever you decide be right for you. Take care my friend. I and others are with you through your journeys.
 
Chris318 said:
I don’t know your case or the pain you feel, but having sex shouldn’t be your driving factor to relieve your pain.
Click to expand...

My prostate is constricting my urethra. It makes it very difficult to urinate regularly. My prostate is the size of a tennis ball. It pushes up against my bladder although the constriction is the cause of the pain for the most part. I am not married and a virgin so the “sex comment” was a tongue in cheek remark, knowing one of the side effects of a radical is the lack of ability to produce semen, among several other side effects. I’m scheduled for an ablation to reduce the size and eliminate the constriction.
 
No ER visit because pain is gone for now. But urologist did call to ask what happened, wanted to hear it from the patient directly, instead of going on a doctor-on-call note. His remarks were to track the pattern and intensity of the pain, and let the office know ASAP instead of “working through it.” He agreed that a schedule might need adjusted.
 
I have a stricture from being catheterized in the hospital, and have been told that if it ever comes to my not being able to pass urine (as in none at all...) that it really would be a good idea to get to an e.r. so they can drain my bladder. (Oh joy, oh bliss...) and I am guessing that would lead to my having to self-catheterize until I'd be able to see a urologist. Interestingly, the stricture, while it has slowed the flow of urine when I void, has probably served to prevent flooding my brief as seriously- at least on some occasions- and hasn't required the attention of my urologist since my incontinence became as bad as it is. I sometimes wonder if the stricture finally gave up its efforts to block the passage and just said, 'Fine! Let's see how you like having no control at all???' (Psycho-bladder...) So... may I urge you, as the others have, to get thyself to the E.R. if thou hast future problems?
 
A huge urinary void occurred this afternoon, fortunately while using the toilet. OMG… I pissed so hard for at least a minute or possibly longer nonstop! No uncomfortable spasm, just the signal that it was time. I feel totally opposite than when I posted this thread. The only way to express the sensation is… “Ahhhhhh! Hopefully no ER visit is necessary between now and my ablation. I still want to thank all of you for the encouragement to get help 🙂
 
@MAM Sex is the most overrated thing ever. After my hysterectomy and loss of sex drive, it became very obvious to me just how stupid and preposterous it is that something so fleeting and unimportant runs our society the way it does. I sometimes miss my sex drive, but most of the time, I am totally relieved that I can sit back at parties and laugh at everyone wasting so much energy flirting.

That said, I do miss cuddling and holding hands, but unfortunately, in exchange for that, men expect ses and I don’t do that any more.
 
@snow The point that I was trying to convey was the pain I was in yesterday. Although I will admit that I never really have had a strong libido so not sure if I had been missing out on anything. I swim at a local university pool, but 2x the age of most of the students who talk in the locker room about “getting some good action last night”… I just never felt that urge.
Needless to say my comment was not about fulfilling my sex drive, but wanting to fix this ongoing prostate issue.
 
@MAM Best of wishes with your surgery and recovery. There are a million posts here on the forum about prostrate troubles. I think 90-95% of the posts are about that. If you use the “search” tool - look for the magnifying glass - you’ll find many techniques and reassurances that have been listed in the past. What you’re experiencing sounds excruciating.
 
snow said:
@MAM Sex is the most overrated thing ever. After my hysterectomy and loss of sex drive, it became very obvious to me just how stupid and preposterous it is that something so fleeting and unimportant runs our society the way it does. I sometimes miss my sex drive, but most of the time, I am totally relieved that I can sit back at parties and laugh at everyone wasting so much energy flirting.

That said, I do miss cuddling and holding hands, but unfortunately, in exchange for that, men expect ses and I don’t do that any more.
Click to expand...

Some of we guys experience the loss of sex drive, too. It happens and we live with it.
 
Yes, that happen way back in my 20s, and I never looked back. My sister told me at that time to sit when you peepee. So I did, again never looked back!
 
I just want to say to everyone that sex is important to a relationship but it’s not everything. I too have ED with my incontinence but it’s not the end of the world. Like “Snow”said: she misses cuddling and handholding. Me too. My wife and I are closer now because we are more romantic and really spend more time close to each other and do things I know she really likes. Thanks Snow you really hit the nail on the head. Oh, I am a man and don’t need sex to feel good about myself. I think most women really appreciate not having to worry about sex and just enjoy being very romantic. Enjoy life guys and gals. Spend more time being romantically involved, your relationships will be more fulfilling.
 
You must log in or register to post here.

Similar threads

Archives1
Sex after Radical Prostatectomy
Replies
19
Views
484
Archives1
Archives1
Archives1
received bad news
2
Replies
30
Views
375
Archives1
Archives1
Archives1
Issues with my bladder after sex
Replies
2
Views
158
Archives1
Archives1
Archives1
Bowel procedures Listed here on NAFC???? How has had one??
Replies
12
Views
239
Archives1
Archives1
Archives1
Cannot Initiate Urination
Replies
9
Views
192
Archives1
Archives1
Back
Top