Never, ever, ever again!!!

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I hope this post finds everyone well. I know I haven't posted in awhile but I have been keeping up with everyone by reading. I have started to write this several times but just couldn't seem to get it all down.
Allow me to start by saving I have always been a "no-nonsense kind of gal that tries to live by the philosophy of, "Always forward; never back." I practice living in the moment and try to live a life of gratitude. Yes, I have had terrible things happen to me in the past but that's where I keep those memories-tucked away in what I refer to as a file way in the back of my memory file. Living in this manner has served me well for over 40 years. I want to mention that I have never suffered from any type of true mental illness although after my ex-husband walked out on me leaving me to raise three children under the age of four I did seek the help of a professional psychologist. After a one hour session he advised me that what I needed to do was to learn to live on my own. I never felt the need to return because I agreed with his logic and it was all up to me. Sort of like he gave me the answer.
So: my current husband, adult three children and two granddaughters went to Orlando, Florida in late May this year. I am not what anyone would call well traveled. The last time I was on a plane was over 10 years ago- before 9/11. That flight was my first flight ever. Back then you just got on the plane. Thanks to this forum I knew to print out the TSA Medical card. I wrote on it, "Urinary incontinence. Managed with adult protective underwear." We boarded in LGA - NY. As luck would have it I got "tagged." I was pulled to the side and a young lady asked me if I had any medical issues. It was at this point I realized my cards- one for the TSA, one for my reconstructed boobs, and one for the cataracts I had at the ripe old age of 38 - were all in my wallet. So I leaned in close to her and said,"Yes, I wear adult protective underwear." She looked at me like I spoke a foreign language and went for my blouse. I freaked and jumped back and asked her what was she doing? I told her she couldn't lift my shirt in front of everyone. I asked to see a supervisor who came right over. She was extremely kind and showed me the screen and the three areas she would need to check. She was really quick and off we went. The children stayed for six days and my hubby and I stayed an extra four. When we went to Orlando airport I again got tagged but this time the screen was much more detailed. You could see my boob implants and the "V" shape of my pull-up clear as day. This time I remembered all my cards. Nobody seemed to care even though I repeatedly tried to show them. I was advised that I would be searched totally and was taken to a small room with two female workers. I was hysterical thinking they would be touching me and I told them repeatedly about my issues. The one female told me she would be "going in deep" and that she did. Iat one point I thought I was going to faint or puke because I could feel the bile iny mouth. By the time she was done I had total let loose of any urine that was in me. They did let my husband come in to be with me but they made him stand in the corner. When she was done she told me "if you continue to wear those protective underwear i can guarantee you will be tagged everytime." I remember her saying something about paying someone money in order to avoid the search (?) So we run to catch our plane, they were calling us over the loud speaker. We get seated, take off, and when we are way up in the air all of a sudden, out of nowhere I'm back 40 years ago: in that room: I can smell his oder: feel the sheet under me: feel him force my legs open: he's putting his hand over my mouth: I can feel the burning in my virgina: I WANT TO SCREAM!!!! I WANT TO POUND MY FISTS!!! NOOOO NOOO NOOO!!!!!! My husband is sitting next to me and knows what is happening because I'm telling him as I'm seeing and feeling all this. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. God love my husband, he tries to hold me and begins to pray out loud the Lord's prayer. All I could think of is for some people even if they say "No" it doesn't mean no. It's been weeks now but I still can see it all in my minds eye. And I seem to be afraid of everything these days. I'm scared all the time. I need to figure out a way to get that "file" back where it belongs. I'm worried about my friend Sarah060486. She was going to fly to see her sister. I pray to God she had an easier time at the airport. Thanks for reading and one thing is for sure: I will NEVER, EVER be flying again.

 

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So sorry to hear of your incident at the airport .I am sure you were embarrassed as well.Peoole that don't deal with incontinence have no clue what it is like,although they are doing there job..Obviously this took you to some very dark moment in your life that has made you in mind go back to a sad day for you. Maybe seeking out some therapy again to discuss how scared and what happened to you so yes you can put it back in the file where it belongs ...Good luck to you and God bless

 

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Hello @Boopsie61;

Reading your post and seeing that it has to do with sexual abuse - I can't help but wonder if there is anything truthful to this Elizabeth (I am assuming that is your name from what I remember some time ago)

You said pre 9/11 and that you got tagged - but the TSA was formed post 9/11 and most airlines were not restricted.

From a survivor of childhood abuse and humiliation and shame involving pants wetting and incontinence episodes as a child which felt sexual in nature - I find your story a slap in the face to those of us who suffer from incontinence in general and suffer from the memories of enuresis and being humiliated and stripped of our dignity.

If you suffer from any sort of mental disability, or are even part of a corrupt blue line with little respect to those of us who suffered from incontinence as kids and struggle with the memories as an adult - then I am sorry.

I suggest professional assistance or restructured therapy. There are many kind people out there that will help you be the person you were meant to be. Praying for you.

Blessing In Christ,
Honeeecombs

 

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After reading this a few times it seems to me that the stress of flying and having had to put the traumas of the past aside to create a present life (which sounds like has wonderful family in it and challenges overcome)sounds like you were an environment that broke down the walled place you put that MEMORY ripe for triggering old business you've stuffed into a corner.
Having had the experience of the flashbacks myself and been triggered unexpectedly all I can say is what helped me to get back to present life is to tell your truth to those who will listen. Accept if they seem respectful bt less upset than you, write your truth down over and over if necessary and take walks in bare feet on the natural earth while you take in the present with all your senses. Speak kindly to the past and visualize it going into a wooden box nox shut the lid and turn a key in the lock.
I did lots of therapy and it was not as useful to me as any of this but at least a place I could tell my truth over and over again until I acknowledged it is past not present and know I have trigger phrases that I don't even know about in situations I haven't lived yet in the future.
Sending best wishes for healing.

 

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I am sorry that happened to you. I am flying next week for the first time since I started having problems and I am really scared

 

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Hello all. For clarification Honeecomb: I have been on an airplane twice in my life: the first time was over ten years ago: before incontinence, eye or boob implants. This incident occurred this May, 2022.

 

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I had to read this a couple of times myself before I understood it, but I understand what you are trying to say now.

May God grant you peace and comfort. Amen.

 

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Thanks for sharing Boopsie. I can't imagine how awful that must have been for you. While I don't use protection during day thought I prob should, I slip through TSA quite handily. Though I could share one experience when I accidently carried a box of .308 bullets into the detectors after sighting my rifle in before deer season. I honestly forgot I had them.

That led to a few anxious moments. Thank God I was in SC and not NY or California.

 

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Erin
if you can how about wearing protection to restroom before the TSA change into regular underwear and changing into protection once out of TSA

 

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Hello again all. Thank you much for all your kind words. After re-reading what I wrote I can understand why it can be confusing to understand. I am sorry about that. To summarize; that "flashback" happened when my husband and I were coming back from Orlando during May of 2022. That's when I was tagged by the TSA. I've only flown on a plane twice in my life. First time was years ago- no issues then. This current/ second time flying was when all this occurred. The first time I ever took a plane -years ago- the TSA didn't do the level of screening that they do today. I'm not even sure there was a TSA back then.I hope this helps to clear up any confusion. Thank you again for all your kind words. Maybe it's my imagination, but it seems to me that the older I become, the harder it is to "bounce-back" from these types of things. I don't know - maybe it's just because life was busier back then. I've always known the world can be a scary thing but as I get older it feels alot more so. I feel as if I've lost my footing. I just don't know. But one thing I do know is I will not - I repeat- WILL NOT-live the rest of my life like this. This isn't my definition of living. Always afraid; so much so that even walking in my own yard makes me afraid. One more week of this and that's it. I surrender- I'll call the professionals in. There. Now I have a plan. Thanks again for reading.

 

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Hello, Boopsie,

I am listening to you, and I hear you loud and clear. I am so very sorry that the TSA treated you in this way. They were very abusive to you. Thank goodness your husband was there with you.

I think that MayMay is always understanding and has good suggestions, so I would recommend listening to her.

That therapist you went to years ago was not helpful at all. I would recommend a therapist who practices EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). This kind of therapy might help you put the trauma you suffered in your back pocket where it belongs.

I wish you well in your recovery.

 

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Erin
if you can how about wearing protection to restroom before the TSA change into regular underwear and changing into protection once out of TSA

I only use pads cause that's all I can get. I'm not too worried about TSA I am more worried about having an accident on the plane
My mom says that sometimes you are not allowed to go to the bathroom

 

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Hello Chaps54. Reading your post reminded me of something else that happened that I had forgotten about. My dear sweet soul of a husband forgot he had his really cool Swiss Army pocket knife I had bought him 20 years ago for a 15th year anniversary gift. He told them he had it and they said we could have it shipped to us if we wanted. We would be responsible for the cost of shipping of course. During all the confusion we totally forgot about filling out the form. Gone. My hubby will be 70 years old next month and to him a pocket knife is just part of getting dressed in the morning. No different than say, his shoes and socks. He considers it a tool - not a weapon. I also want to mention he is a gun enthusiast. Especially antique firearms. Loves anything black powder. And as a final note...we live....wait for it....in ...upstate New York.

 

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Hello Chaps54. Reading your post reminded me of something else that happened that I had forgotten about. My dear sweet soul of a husband forgot he had his really cool Swiss Army pocket knife I had bought him 20 years ago for a 15th year anniversary gift. He told them he had it and they said we could have it shipped to us if we wanted. We would be responsible for the cost of shipping of course. During all the confusion we totally forgot about filling out the form. Gone. My hubby will be 70 years old next month and to him a pocket knife is just part of getting dressed in the morning. No different than say, his shoes and socks. He considers it a tool - not a weapon. I also want to mention he is a gun enthusiast. Especially antique firearms. Loves anything black powder. And as a final note...we live....wait for it....in ...upstate New York.

Woah! What a shock. It's a small world you would have to say.

I am still praying for you. Very much so. I know I am choosing the right by reporting these accounts to the proper authorities. I however, am not concerned in regards to my families actions. By all means, I implore them to further the truth in my endeavours by validating my abuse and childhood memories.

I by no means want you to "feel" that I am invalidating your abuse - however sharing explicit sexual details in regards to it in front of known minors is something I personally would not encourage. Which is why I sent ahead and contacted the Missing Children and Exploited Children's Center (not on you. But on the account known as "Erin").

Sometimes, we have to look out for known predators and people who are abusing others. Take my grandfather for instance; he ended up cheating on my paternal grandmother with a 19 year old who is my step grandmother whom is involved in trying to hush up my childhood.

I remember my grandmother telling me when she found out in her 40s that my Grandfather was cheating on her she drove by the local drugstore where she worked and confronted him saying she was dating the girl from Faye's.

I'll never forget that story. But I know in my heart that I am doing what's right. Even with so much opposition.

Still praying for you. Very much so.

Blessings In Christ,
Honeeecombs.

 

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@chaps54

I accidently carried a box of .308 bullets into the detectors after sighting my rifle in before deer season.

I can just imagine how that must have felt!

In 1998 my wife and I took a long tour through Egypt and Israel. Like most people we saw, we are a white couple, and at that time in our early 50's. No troubles at the airports until we were leaving Israel to come home.

We were never given a reason, but they picked us out of the crowd of people to search our luggage. They didn't search us, just our luggage. They took it away and left us standing there for over an hour. They finally returned with our bags and let us go.

Of course, Israel is constantly at war and terrorism is always a threat. Why they picked us we'll never know.

Another strange security exercise they made the passengers do was loading their own bags onto the loading truck next to the airplane before we got onboard. We had to ride a bus out to the tarmac where the plane was waiting. (No jetway from the terminal.) Our luggage was already next to the plane. We got off the bus, and they instructed us to move our bags to a flatbed, then we could board the plane. If there was a bag that was not moved they had to find the person it belonged to and they had to get off the plane to claim it. I guess they were looking for bombs.

While in Egypt, there were machine gun towers and nests at all the tourist sites, and there were armed guards on the tour busses and metal detectors at all the hotels. Guns were everywhere! We were told that they were there to protect the tourists. Oddly, they never required us to go through the metal detectors, but any Arab-looking person did go through.

In Israel there were armed military everywhere, but they were there to defend against terrorists.

In Jerusalem, I got chased away from the "Dome of the Rock" by some Arab! I had stumbled through a door by myself at the wrong time of the day. How was I to know? No signs to warn me off.

What a trip that was!

 

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My mom says that sometimes you are not allowed to go to the bathroom

That is true. I would always try to book an aisle seat since I had to go to the room so often.

I had to travel a lot when I was working. While on the ground, they didn't let us move around until we came to a complete stop. I was always concerned that we would have to stay seated during rough weather or while waiting on the ground to take off or waiting for an open gate at the terminal.

 

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Which is why I sent ahead and contacted the Missing Children and Exploited Children's Center (not on you. But on the account known as "Erin".

So first I am a fake or something, and now I am exploiting children??

I don't know what the f**k you think you are talking about, but you need to be very very careful. It is against the law to file a false report.

And they actually put people in jail for that.

Think I'm kidding or just making stuff up? Ask Jussie Smollett.

Don't know who that is? Try searching for his name on this really cool website:

www.google.com

Or check out this article

Actor Jussie Smollett sentenced to 150 days in jail for lying to police about fake hate crime

Empire actor was found guilty in December in the attack that he orchestrated and must also serve 30 months of probation

www.theguardian.com

I am getting BULLIED on this board, and I am not going to just shut up and go away.

I am not the problem here. Almost everything Honeeecombs posts on here has nothing to do with bladder problems.

 

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That is true. I would always try to book an aisle seat since I had to go to the room so often.

I had to travel a lot when I was working. While on the ground, they didn't let us move around until we came to a complete stop. I was always concerned that we would have to stay seated during rough weather or while waiting on the ground to take off or waiting for an open gate at the terminal.

That is what I am worried about. And I don't see how an aisle seat will help if I am not allowed to go to the bathroom.

 

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Biopsies, I understand the pocket knife. I don't leave home without it.

I should have qualified my NY statement to NY City.

 

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@Honeeecombs, invalidating someone’s sexual assault experience is completely inappropriate. You need to pull your head in.