National Let's Laugh day... who's got jokes..

That FLGuy: Sleep is highly overrated. Years ago there was a cartoon in a auto-parts magazine. You start out in grade school on coke to stay awake. In high school on Chocolate to keep awake for term papers and math homework. As a college student, coffee to keep awake for everything. More coffee at work. Some one left the coffee pot on and it burns down to the bottom by next morning; it's good, though. Between the drawing and the rest of the dialogs, i actually liked it enough I've looked on the internet and never found it. We gave that to a captain of our ship because he drank "triple coffee" - three doses of coffee grounds per pot rather than one. He even drank it cold. We liked him a lot. Strangely, he was pretty mellow. Ahhh, the days before we all had incontinence and could drink coffee.
 
How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
You open the door, put the giraffe in, you close the door.

How do you put a elephant in the refrigerator?
Most folk say the same answer as the giraffe, but the real answer is: You open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the door.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
You smell the peanuts on his breath.


Neener neener.
 
AlasSouth, that may be the worst and funniest joke I’ve ever heard!!!!!!!! If I didn’t pee my pants before that I did during 😂🤪👌
 
One measure of laughter was "until she cried". Then came "until she peed her pants". That isn't funny, any more.
My wife, who was teacher, said those grade-school refrigerator jokes are specifically 4TH grade. There are lots more but we've both forgotten them. Speaking of which:

Those bumps on your tongue aren't taste buds, they are all those words you forgot and had "on the tip of your tongue".

To save your energy, I'll boo for you....
 
Cop sees a guy with three penguins in his car. He pulls them over aand asks what the guy's doing with those penguins. "I/m taking them to the zoo? he says.

Well, that good,says the cop, that's where they belong.

The next day the cop see the same car, same driver, same three penguins in teh back seat.

He pulls them over. "I thought you told me you were taking these penguins to the zoo!"

"We did that yesterday, today we're going to the movies."
 
when i was growing up us boys would have farting contests. It was always funny when someone else was disqualified for mud on the play. Now at my current situation farts are nothing to play around with because having to call your mom to bring you pants at 34 is not funny.

If you’re american when you go into the bathroom, and an american when you come out, what are you while you are in the bathroom........


European..
 
ThatFLGuy said:
I called for information on some new incontinence products... They asked "Can you hold please?""

You think you have it bad... Imagine being a bed wetting Bat...

As a bedwetter I had never thought about the troubles of a bedwetting bat. Makes my situation seem minor.

Thanks for the laugh.
 
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