I feel awful

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Archives1

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I am not looking for pity, I see how nice you people are and I appreciate it. Heres my story. I am young 32 and in the Military. I have had issues with dribbling in the past, then I had a complete loss of urinary continence. I was soaking my entire pants and in order to go to work I had to wear diapers. I was leaking in the cheap walmart type diapers but it was much more manageable than no protection. I tried the pads at first but I went through those like 1 an hour.
I went to the urologist and he checked my prostate. This was so very uncomfortable. When he hit it with his fingers I about jumped off the table in pain. He diagnosed me with prostates and an antibiotic. Well I had also purchased a clamp for my leaking by then. I ended up regaining control, and ending my prescription early.
Well recently I lost control again. I am back on cypro and I am very depressed. I know my wife is strong and she is sticking it out with me. I am very blessed. I feel like I am robbing her. I feel very little self value and I know all of that is untrue. I just can't hold urine. That does not change who I am. I am who God created me to be, I do however wish to regain control. I am WAY to young to go through this. I am going to go back to the urologist, but I am so scared of the prostate check, and the news. I guess I just continue to muddle through this. I am also deploying to an undisclosed location and I plan on clamping and using towels while I sleep. I know that I can be kicked out of the Military for this, I just can't afford that right now. My wife and kids can't either.
 
Dear Youngactiveman,
I am a 74 year old senior lady who has Multiple Sclerosis; I well understand the difficulties of both urinary and now
fecal incontinence. I promise to pray that God will please grant you the courage to continue to seek your well being.
I am praying right now that there will be a man on this thread who will suggest help for you. My Prayer Circle meets Thursday mornings; I will e-mail right now a prayer sister who will add you to the Circle for tomorrow. May God please bless you and your family. All the best, April
 
You should consider strongly periodic self-catheterization. It has changed my life significantly and I can now go to sleep without worry. I can't tell you how much better I am psychologically and physically now that I can manage it with them. They make ones that look like a pen/marker. So discreet and easy to use. Ask your doctor.
 
I had a robotic prostatectomy 6months ago. Kegel exercises and a medication called Imipramine helped with my urinary incontinence. Good luck.
 
Dear Active Young Man,

I am a member of a prostate cancer support group here in Maine. We regularly hear from men with incontinence problems, since that can be one side effect of prostate cancer treatment.
First I would say I think you have a poor urologist. I would try a different one if possible.
Here are some possible solutions:

One of our men successfully used a drug that his urologist prescribed for him, called oxybutynin chloride, 5 mg. tablet, one per day, to reduce incontinence. Check the side effects of using this.

On the Internet, go to www.arcusmedical.com and search for "AFEX" urine collection system. It collects it in a bag on your leg.

Also Google proact therapy for the treatment of stress incontinence in males. These were being tried out in clinical trials, last I knew.

Another urine collection system is seen at www.bioderm.us/ It is a bit different from the Afex system. Either one would probably keep you dry. Cleanliness is important to avoid urinary tract infections.

Regarding use of a clamp, doctors warn that it should only be used for short periods of time, to avoid damage to the skin and underlying tissues. Take it off every 30 minutes and then reapply as needed.

Check into use of Kegel exercises, which some claim help to control incontinence.

Keep in mind there are 3 types of urinary incontinence:
STRESS incontinence - leaking of urine when you cough, sneeze, or do hard work or are active.
OVERFLOW incontinence - the bladder is not getting emptied properly due to a blockage somewhere in the urinary system.
URGE incontinence - a feeling that you have to constantly have to go to the bathroom right away or you will burst, cause by an oversensitive bladder.

When all else fails, there are several surgical operations that can be done, such as the Artificial Sphincter, or Advance sling.
Google "Male Incontinence Solutions".

Carl
 
Until you get this sorted out, and to prevent embarrassment, you need to find and use reliable protection. Nothing you can buy at a big box store or the PX will suffice. Go on the Internet and look for Abena, Molicare, and Dry 24/7. Learn to use them. Using these may complicate your deployment, but they will give you the protection you need to get on with life. Good luck.
 
To everyone in this thread...
God Bless You for caring and taking your time to talk to those that live with incontinence and making such fantastic suggestions.

To Active Young Man...
All of the responses here are both logical and worth looking into. I am not here to promote anything but encouragement, compassion, and assistance. That said, I do actually work for Abena. While there are many solid brands out there (I believe Patrick had some suggestions here), Abena is certainly amongst the best solutions.
I would be happy to send over a full case of product to you not only to help, but to also put a little down payment on the sacrifice you have made and continue to make for all of us. God Bless You sir. My email is kne@abena.com Please get in touch and we will make the appropriate arrangements quickly.
Ken
 
Thank for all of your words. I'm petrified of cathing. I have heard horror stories. I will look into it. I am really hoping for complete healing. God has healed me once. I'm counting on it again. Praying for all of you as well.
 
I think you stated you terminated your antibiotic early,which is never recommended , that's what my doctors tell me. So perhaps your prostatitus has not cleared up yet. I would go back to your urologist and tell him/her whats going on .Not sure if you are on another script or working on the old one. I thought there are some harmful effects of clamping and for heavy leakage at night I use Tena level 3 maximum absorbancy shields , I get from Tena direct, Abri man also makes a good product and I use them also. With me my diabetes and emotional stuff has an effect on my continence.
 
Thanks, I did go back and begin another round of Cypro. I think theres an emotional level involved with my Continence. I have had some pain associated with clamping, but if I don't clamp I have to wear the diaper type protection during the day which is even more emotionally challenging. I have to wear them at night because the clamp has to be removed every couple hours. Wearing the diapers at night is emotionally harmful because I am married and it is not appealing to my wife at all, actually the opposite. I am hoping I have this clear up. I am SO over sitting in my own urine, and constantly being paranoid about being seen.
 
Follow Up- I am deployed. I am using just the clamp. I out of embarrassment chose not to pack diapers. I might order some ABRI's for sleeping. I am concerned I have MS. I say this because of the symptoms I am facing. I went to a urologist and was given Antibiotics twice. I definitely had reprieve the first round and my own fault i stopped the Cypro early. Well I did another complete round after incontinence retuned without any relief. I have stiffness in my limbs, when I sneeze Pain sin my chest and back then shoots down my arms and legs, I get blurry vision, I leak all the time (I am clamped so no leaking unless my urethra is full and I cough, sit down, or step up) I have muscle spasms and my memory is not well, like really bad. I am unsure though. I fear for my career, I love what I do and if I have MS I don't know if I can maintain what I do. If I go get checked I have to be honest about my symptoms and I am so embarrassed. :(:eek:
 
Hang in there Youngactiveman. What you are going through would be profoundly difficult for anyone. You are facing it with a courage that is apparent to all of us, but somehow eludes you.
The fear of MS (or any other serious condition) takes over
our lives and shields us from things like happiness and contentment.
I think you should at least see an appropriate doctor and discuss (if you like) only those symptoms that lead you to the diagnosis you fear.
Please keep us posted on how things are going. You know we are all rooting for you buddy.
As always... Thank You for your service.

P.S. That clamp sounds painful!! If it is only a relatively minor amount escaping during the day, perhaps you could try a pad of some kind.
 
Hi Youngactiveman. So much good advice here. I too wondered if stopping the antibiotic early resulted in a resurgence of the same infection that originally caused you bladder issues. MS is indeed a very scary possibility, and could be a military career ender. However, I would strongly recommend getting checked out by your doctor, and (with sincere respect for kenedmunds) recommend telling your doctor everything. We can all attest to how embarrassing it can be to discuss incontinence with your doctor, but remember that they are professionals and have seen it all. Military docs included. AND, your doc can't do his or her job effectively without all of the information. Even if you think a symptom can't be related to what's going on, it is important that you tell your doc. They know stuff the rest of us dont know, and they can't put all the pieces together if they are missing pieces. It might not be MS! It might be something else entirely, but they will have a more challenging time figuring that out without all of the information.

I know this may not be terribly comforting, but if your condition would require separation from the military, it should be rated as service-connected, which could help relieve some of the financial burdens that would otherwise come from separation. The bureaucracy is daunting for sure, but you can do it!

And like all others here, thank you so much for your service and sacrifice. I am a DoD GS civilian that works in the MHS, and I am honored to work with and for the bravest people on earth.
 
Youngactiveman
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles and I hope that whatever the diagnosis ends up being, that it is something treatable. But whatever it is, I sincerely wish you the very best of luck. And if you end up having to go through the MEB/IDES, feel free to zap me a PM or email (xenavestal@aol.com). I'd be happy to discuss the process with you in detail. I went through it recently myself (for totally unrelated reason) and was medically retired at 20 years of service. Although only newly dealing with incontinence, I certainly can understand what you are going through. Hang in there!
 
I am so grateful for your kind words. I believe I am here for a reason. I want to stay here. I honestly can get over the idea of not controlling my urine, its the thought of someone seeing me urinate myself or if they see me wearing any type of protection. honestly my biggest issue is my pride. I can see how so many people are bound to their homes and never go out because of this disease. I hope that we can all swallow our pride and remain active for our friends and families sake.
 
As a nurse, as well as the daughter of two active parents in their 80's, I can not tell you all how common this problem truly is. The fear, secrecy, ignorance (on the part of medical providers) and stigma and shame surrounding it is a crime. There are so many proactive solutions, mostly revolving around doctors better preparing their patients by setting realistic expectations, and offering nonsurgical options and treatments before performing radical surgeries. Any solution takes time, fostering of and encouraging support systems, and having a positive, open and flexible attitude is always helpful.

Additionally, I myself suffer from uterine fibroids and relate with the struggle for discrete options to stay dry, but instead of urine my situation involves blood. Like a crime scene amount. Disposable undergarments (sorry but diapers are for babies and I'm an adult) have been a literal life, sanity and job saver.

Finding a good urologist, and not being afraid to "shop around" until you do, and researching surgical options (before any type of surgery), makes all the difference in quality of life. It's an adjustment no matter what age this challenge occurrs but with proper support, realistic goals and encouragement, life goes on. And, being in the medical field, I see daily that it can always be worse. Just my opinion, I hope I don't offend anyone. Stay positive!
 
RRRN,
Many of us here that have bladder/bowel/incontinence issues wear diapers. It's what they are and I speak for most of us when I say let's call it what it is.....a diaper. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, is yellow, and has webbed feet.....we call it a duck. There should be no shame in saying the word "diaper" I realize we're in multiple different phases of acceptance and you may not be quite there yet. I know the medical community generally has an issue with the word diaper. But most of us who wear them are ok with it.
 
Youngactiveman said:
Follow Up- I am deployed. I am using just the clamp. I out of embarrassment chose not to pack diapers. I might order some ABRI's for sleeping. I am concerned I have MS. I say this because of the symptoms I am facing. I went to a urologist and was given Antibiotics twice. I definitely had reprieve the first round and my own fault i stopped the Cypro early. Well I did another complete round after incontinence retuned without any relief. I have stiffness in my limbs, when I sneeze Pain sin my chest and back then shoots down my arms and legs, I get blurry vision, I leak all the time (I am clamped so no leaking unless my urethra is full and I cough, sit down, or step up) I have muscle spasms and my memory is not well, like really bad. I am unsure though. I fear for my career, I love what I do and if I have MS I don't know if I can maintain what I do. If I go get checked I have to be honest about my symptoms and I am so embarrassed. :(:eek:
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