Help!

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My husband has been bed wetting the entire 7 years we’ve been together. It mostly only happens when he’s been drinking alcohol or if he’s excessively tired. When drinking it’s pretty much guaranteed it WILL happen. It’s taking a toll on me. It keeps getting brushed under the rug, when in reality everything just keeps getting ruined-couch and bed mostly. I cannot stand the smell. How do I get him to get help and what can I do to get rid of the smell?? Thank you!

 

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GET HIM TO STOP DRINKING,NUMBER 1. Number 2 is to get him to a doctor for evaluation, and insist he wear a form of protective garments.

 

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Oh my dear, if you love him or at least care which you must, he must see a doctor and have him restrict his drinking to a single brink before bed. The try to get him to accept responsibility for his wetting and put some type protection in place. I wear adult briefs but he may resist this. If nothing else, a plastic sheet or waterproof bed pads. I use both and you can get cheaply enough on Amazon.com. There are all types of products out there to help with the smell. Again, look on Amazon. They have all kinds of products. Good luck, this is a tough problem for some people to admit they have.

 

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I am no expert on this. I come to this site for consultation and ideas like you.
Good for you. Another good step I hope.

So sorry for your worries. You have an absolute right to be concerned and even dismayed over your husbands willingness to just brush it off.
I don’t know, but I’m guessing he won’t respond well to discussing it and feels shamed.

First. Keep talking with him. Invite him to this site. And ask him to seek medical expertise. There are millions of us. And probably thousands experiencing the same issues as you and your husband.
Purchase bed protection. Ask him to wear a diaper. Or sleep in another room.
He must participate or 100% do the clean up.
Sounds like there might be a need for a control on his alcohol consumption.

Then know that neither of you are alone. It can be frustrating, but bed wetting can be dealt with. Treated and managed. Even if it’s just wearing protection.
My wife and I have a loving relationship. And I wear a diaper at bedtime most nights for my bedwetting.

There are plenty of cleaning product for urine. Go to the pet supply store.
And launder with liquid detergent that contains Oxiclean.
Soak sheets in Oxiclean.

I pray it gets better and wish you the best.
Look at some of our profiles on bed wetters. Normal people with multiple symptoms and reasons for nighttime wetting that have found support, share ideas and experiences for making life better.

Sincerely,
Joe

 

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Additionally, Many of us on the forums can offer plenty of care and product ideas. Quality briefs, bed mattress protection as well as mats for the sofa and such.

 

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Your husband needs to take some responsibility for his bedwetting. I wet the bed but I am responsible enough to wear nappies and always help with the laundry etc.

 

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I've read all the post so far that people have created. I think I would start by having him read all these post. There is some good advice here. If he won't read them, then you must make him sit and listen while you read them. Then ask him the question, what is this marriage worth to you? Because it may end if you cannot start helping yourself! Tell him you are very tired and need his help! If he cannot do this to help you out. Then you must tell him you can no longer deal with it, You love him but it seems one sided. Help out, or it's over. Keep in mind this is just my thoughts. You live with him and only you know in reality what to do. Listen to your gut as well as your heart. Get family involved to help out also. Good luck to you, and to your husband.

 

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On a practical note I use Nature's miracle a pet cleaner for urine found in grocery store and pet supplies on Walmart usually on the bottom shelf.
I buy a bottle and pour a great amount on the wet bed or sofa section
Let it soak in cover with a towel then a bed pad and SIT or LIE ON THIS to press into the area. It seems to alleviate the smell and eventually soaks into the towel which is now set and I wash it.

For those who have incontinence we might leak from protective underwear but choosing to pretend it's not happening and drinking alcohol is not going to help.
Everyone who commented above has said this well.

My heart goes out to you as relying on alcohol of any type is an issue that needs to be addressed and even social drinking is a bladder irritant.

 

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@Hollywood84 - I feel badly that you are going through this. You have been given alot of good advice from everyone who has responded. At the very least some very good starting points. - Make him read some of these posts, so he can see that he shares a common problem, and there are ways to deal with it and HE has to learn to really deal with it. - Also, he HAS to wear some kind of protection weather he likes it or not. A protective mattress cover is definitely needed if only for your sanity. I also have 3 good size pads by Medline that I tuck into the side of the bed, and sleep on top of, though they can move some when turning over. Stop cleaning up HIS mess. Refuse to do it anymore. He can do it. As long as you continue carrying that burden he will let you. You sleep in a other room, and let him suffer his chosen consequences. Don't get SUCKED into any guilt trips that he may try. - You can help, but only he can quit drinking. He may be able to cut back, but he must be aware of the effects alcohol, (as we all are) and prepare for it. - Maymay gave us all some much needed detailed cleaning tips. Take advantage of that wisdom, though given how long this has been going on for you - you may not be able to salvage the bed or couch. I will bow to Maymay's experience if she sees this. Or if you want to know contact Maymay yourself. As far as staying in this situation if it doesn't change, that is only a decision you can make. Keep us updated if you feel so inclined. We will all be thinking of you, and sending caring thoughts your way. - Pam