ever present issues connected to incontinence need attention right away

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@etamilbus what is on my mind so much deals with my sexuality. and the sex issues are very linked and confused with my self harm and incontinence. it is a struggle between a lot of sadness and distress and disappointment about my life and a hope that finally being open will lead me in the direction i see as the only way i will find healing and happiness. but sexuality and gender decisions are difficult to address so i hesitate. i’m hoping there are people here who will communicate with me encouragingly and supportively about the direction i need to go.

 

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Do think you are homosexual ? Is that what you are fighting against? Are you afraid
It will compromise your moral agenda? Turn people away from you?

 

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Are you thinking of a sex change? I feel you must have talked to your doctor about these issues . You can open up and decide how you want to feel.Think about how you want to feel. Only you and you alone can act on how you move forward.

 

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@Pmikula yeah! I do want a sex change I've started calling myself Sarah instead of dan. This is something I kept hidden all my life and I know I must open up about it and get moving finally.

 

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I actually posted the new me on another site and I'm so excited and happy I did it. But honestly I really don't know how coming out with my family will go. Finding
friends here to encourage and support me and even to urge me forward would really be great. And just for the record, I really do want to be called Sarah.

 

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Ok Sarah,
Your on your way beautiful. Stay focused .

 

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@Pmikula yay! I want to shout and scream it everywhere. Gunna love being a woman.

Love Sarah

 

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So what is the quickest way to announce this to the world but remain safe? I want to experience the bad as well as the good so I can learn first hand how to deal with being transsexual. I don't really know anyone in my life who will support this so coming out and letting it be known that I've chosen being a woman over being a man now is just so essential.

 

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How old are you?

 

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@Pmikula didn't see this before. I have always only had sex with men in my mind but kept the reality of the desire and enjoyment well hidden even from me. Assaults by me on my own body led to my incontinence. I think one, for the purpose of isolating myself because of not being able to accept my sexual desires and also not really understanding that I'm actually a woman. I didn't want to be a gay man. But most important is the message to myself that if I want to stop hurting inside and stop hurting myself inside and out I need to celebrate the woman that I was meant to be. It's not too late to make this change. And my incontinence is really a minor issue in comparison. Now I'm so happy I'm finding real support.

 

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@Pmikula sadly I'm 68. I so wish I did this at 18. A life of denial and disappointment is no way to live but I'm changing that now!

 

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@MikeJames and I missed this too. Sorry. I am aware of procedures etc to treat my incontinences but as the problem is from self harm and I am not yet out of the woods, doctors are hesitant to treat because I could redo the damage. Now I've finally figured out why I self harm so I can begin working on changing that.

 

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I think you need your doctor to give you a green light,if your wanting a sex change. It's a long process to be approved. At your age
Maybe you should just try to date a man. Go to a gay bar. Dress like a woman. I don't know. I have no experience in this. You don't even have to date ,just go out as Sarah. Please have a little fun with who you are.
,

 

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Yup!