more of an introduction about myself

[Archives1]

ok, i just want to clarify. i know the type of protection i use (pullups + a pad) is not considered the best by what i believe is many. but i am the type of person who prefers to wear fewer layers, not more. when i sleep i don’t wear much and usually use only a sheet or light blanket - never layers. and i sweat real easily. and i hate things wrapped around me tightly. and i hate loose baggy pants. So being incontinent causes the dilemma, do i wrap myself up to make sure nothing escapes or do i allow myself to be as comfortable as possible considering the situation and just get to a cleanup place quickly and discreetly. let me just say that i don’t know how bad my incontinence compares to other people.

Urinary usually happens as frequently as once every half hour to hour and a half, and occasionally as infrequetnly as 3 hours. i have occasional leaks, some noticable a few times a week.

fecal seems odd to me. usually in the morning nothing moves at all and i’ve wasted lots of time sitting with no results. then when i walk to the train or stand on the train on my way to work is when i have trouble. this happens frequently. honestly, in the past year and a half since i’ve developed a routine and favorite products, i have not observed anyone seemingly adversely effected by what happened to me. the trains have their own odor already anyway. I then reach my stop, walk to work, take an empty elevator, and clean up and change. I have no leakage with fecal at all in the past year.

usually i have a fecal incident once a day that is pretty much a full amount, but i have had up to 4. it is a significant problem never a small amount. Urinary as described above is frequent. i don’t know how that compares with other people and i wonder about that. i know i have an issue with my muscles. i am not able to tighten significantly.

at home i wear no protection at all. my apartment is small and i usually have enough time to get to the toilet. if not, i get slightly damp. at home it is easy to change if necessary. i can live with that and my family does not have any complaints. at night i feel the urge to pee and wake up every hour and a half or so. sometimes i can’t make it to the bathroom. i have not been able to find a suitable thing to wear for this situation. a small pad might not do the trick. a large one or a pullup gets wasted.

i do feel that my conditions are slowly increasing. i don’t know what the future has in store. i often wonder why some people seem to need such extreme protection and if maybe i just don’t really have such a bad problem. I’m hoping to hear some comments about this.

i also want to say that my incontinence has come about due to self harm. i mentioned in another post that i’m dealing with that with therapy etc, but if this is significant to anyone i hope to be able to talk about this aspect too.

 

[Archives1]

Yeah it’s hard to compare conditions. I think a lot of people wear more extensive protection because they like the security of knowing they are protected as well as not needing to change all the time.
I would like to know what self harm caused it. It seems like it would have to be a brain or spinal injury. Usually when people say “self harm.” The typical image one conjurs up is cutting.

 

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I did something that I think may have caused nerve damage in the general area but I don't know. My muscles there hardly function. I discovered how to cause this damage accidentally. My PCP is aware of this but knows I have this self harm issue and saying things to me that confirm that - I think - might be in a way encouraging the behavior. The physical problem exists and I am not over my self harm problem so treating the problem may be a waste. I'm in treatment for self harm. I manage with incontinence the best I can

 

[Archives1]

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your story. This is safe place, you don't have to worry about being right or wrong or saying things that others may not agree with. We are all taking this journey, but we are all traveling in different ways. My preference would be a tardis. Everyone is going to make recommendations, including myself. You ultimately have to decide for yourself what works for you and what doesn't regardless of what we say and think. As for your story and your struggles with your emotional well being. This is an open space, and feel free to talk about what you need to. At the same time, don't feel obligated to talk about your past and what brings you here. Once again it is your choice, and just share what you are comfortable sharing. I do know that during my time on this group, I have come across a number of individuals with mental health struggles, whom visit these forums. Most noticeably, I have seen a number of individuals whom struggle with Bipolar and PTSD, whom visit these forums. Myself, i have experience from working in mental health, and have a wife and son, whom both struggle with mental illness of different kinds. Feel free to message me if you ever want to.

 

[Archives1]

Thanks much and vice versa about messaging. Any time.

 

[Archives1]

I would consult a urologist, for the frequent night urges to start with. There are many medications that can be prescribed to help. Additionally, I have an Interstim for over active bladder and I wouldn't be without it. It is for over active bladder which it appears to be your problem at night. Getting up so many times is very disruptive. I feel that addressing one problem at a time may help you to feel like you can get some relief for most of your problems. Urologists also use Botox injections which I understand have been very successful. As for the fecal incontinence, going to a Gastroenterologist who specializes in rectal problems may be able to help lessen your issue with that problem. Don't give up. There are so many doctors who are willing and able to help people with these issues, that you may find some relief.
Good luck! Keep us posted on your progress.