ED? Can this topic be discussed here???
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Archives1
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I’m not saying at 63 I don’t want sex. Of course I do. However, my main goal was to be cancer free and then try to regain continence. Fixing the ED issue would be nice, but it’s not my primary goal. ED is a common issue with most of us who have been through prostatectomy. We all have different priorities in life and I wish everyone on this forum the best in recovering whatever your best quality of life is.
Archives1
Staff member
58 years old here. Nerve sparing surgery 14 months ago. Take 5 mg cialis every day and 20mg when I want to try. Not much going on down there. A VED helps a little but not great. Probably karma. I always teased my wife that I needed viagra simply because that was never an issue for me.
Archives1
Staff member
The dosage doesn’t make a detectable difference. The pump is maybe 50% presurgery firmness. So no really not sufficient. Kinda difficult to accept but at my last visit to the surgeon ten days ago they told me that there is still time to regain function at least with medication.
Archives1
Staff member
We have to have 4 letters to search. Erectile Dysfunction has been discussed recently in the following thread.
It is important to keep the blood flowing to the penis and to do Penile Rehabilitation (self pleasuring, pumps, pills, etc) to help your body to have an erection.
forum.nafc.org
Updated January 13, 2022; Prostatectomy Sept 2020; Male Urethral Sling Surgery Sept 2021
After your prostate is removed, there is no semen produced. The prostate and seminal vessels are removed. The tubes from the testis are cut and closed. A very very few men have some fluid from Cowper gland (bulbourethral gland) at end of penis. You will have dry orgasms.
Penile rehabilitation is needed to stretch the penis and allow blood to flow into the penis while the nerves have time to heal. Using a pump helps restore some of the lost length.
My steps were
Week 0 - prostatectomy
Week 1 - Catheter removed; started tadalafil (10 mg) daily to help blood flow in pelvic area - not so much for erections at this point. Most men start at 5 mg. I purchased using GoodRx at a local grocery store pharmacy because my insurance did not cover it and the chain pharmacies were much higher. I pay $40 for 90 tablets (3 month supply)
Week 8 - Urologist recommended Bathmate Penis Pump - I told urologist that I seemed to be 1.5 inches shorter
Week 10 - started to see some 40 to 50% erections
Week 26 (6 months) - started Trimix penis injections (I would pump then inject so that the tissue is stretched.
Month 9 - having a few erections without shots
Month 12 - having erection about 90% pre-op
Month 15 - stopped using Trimix, Continue on 10 mg daily tadalafil (cialis) with weekly additional 20 mg tadalafil.
I purchase both the Bathmate Xtreme 5 and the Vacurect pumps. I prefer the Bathmate to the Vacurect.
Vacuum Pumps provide two functions 1) get fresh blood in the penis and 2) getting blood and holding it for pleasure. Important to note that both of the following pumps manufacturers recommend only pumping 10 to 15 minutes a day. The Vacurect STRONGLY notes to only use a tension ring for 30 minutes to keep from causing damage.
I am using the Bathmate hydro extreme 5 (the extreme has a hand pump and hydro means it uses water instead of air). I sit on the corner of the tub with cups of warm water to refill the pump. I pump 3 minutes with 2 minutes massage and repeating 2 more times for a maximum total of 15 minutes. I use a conditioning shampoo when massaging. I did not purchase the overpriced special lubricates. (Not my ideal, someone else mentioned and I like it).
Bathmate is located in the UK and I received mine in a week.
I signed up for the email and they send a code to get 30% off.
bathmatedirect.com
I purchased the cushion rings (Accessories _> Extras) to keep my balls from being sucked into the cylinder.
bathmatedirect.com
To see videos, sign into YouTube with a Gmail account - The videos are EXPLICIT (NSFW Not Safe for Work - a man's privates in the cylinder)
Search YouTube for Bathmate
Search YouTube for VACURECT REVIEW
The Vacurect is more for creating an erection and using it. The Vacurect has tension rings that attach to the bottom of the cylinder. I bought the deluxe with 10 tension rings, but the Vacurect OTC with 5 tension rings is cheaper.
www.mainspringmedical.com
It is important to keep the blood flowing to the penis and to do Penile Rehabilitation (self pleasuring, pumps, pills, etc) to help your body to have an erection.
Log In To Continue | National Association for Continence
Updated January 13, 2022; Prostatectomy Sept 2020; Male Urethral Sling Surgery Sept 2021
After your prostate is removed, there is no semen produced. The prostate and seminal vessels are removed. The tubes from the testis are cut and closed. A very very few men have some fluid from Cowper gland (bulbourethral gland) at end of penis. You will have dry orgasms.
Penile rehabilitation is needed to stretch the penis and allow blood to flow into the penis while the nerves have time to heal. Using a pump helps restore some of the lost length.
My steps were
Week 0 - prostatectomy
Week 1 - Catheter removed; started tadalafil (10 mg) daily to help blood flow in pelvic area - not so much for erections at this point. Most men start at 5 mg. I purchased using GoodRx at a local grocery store pharmacy because my insurance did not cover it and the chain pharmacies were much higher. I pay $40 for 90 tablets (3 month supply)
Week 8 - Urologist recommended Bathmate Penis Pump - I told urologist that I seemed to be 1.5 inches shorter
Week 10 - started to see some 40 to 50% erections
Week 26 (6 months) - started Trimix penis injections (I would pump then inject so that the tissue is stretched.
Month 9 - having a few erections without shots
Month 12 - having erection about 90% pre-op
Month 15 - stopped using Trimix, Continue on 10 mg daily tadalafil (cialis) with weekly additional 20 mg tadalafil.
I purchase both the Bathmate Xtreme 5 and the Vacurect pumps. I prefer the Bathmate to the Vacurect.
Vacuum Pumps provide two functions 1) get fresh blood in the penis and 2) getting blood and holding it for pleasure. Important to note that both of the following pumps manufacturers recommend only pumping 10 to 15 minutes a day. The Vacurect STRONGLY notes to only use a tension ring for 30 minutes to keep from causing damage.
I am using the Bathmate hydro extreme 5 (the extreme has a hand pump and hydro means it uses water instead of air). I sit on the corner of the tub with cups of warm water to refill the pump. I pump 3 minutes with 2 minutes massage and repeating 2 more times for a maximum total of 15 minutes. I use a conditioning shampoo when massaging. I did not purchase the overpriced special lubricates. (Not my ideal, someone else mentioned and I like it).
Bathmate is located in the UK and I received mine in a week.
I signed up for the email and they send a code to get 30% off.
Bathmate Direct - World's Best Penis Pump (Official Site)
Discover an effective approach to penis enlargement with Bathmate ✅ The world’s best-selling penis pump ✅ Free Shipping ✅ Real Results ✅ & Guaranteed Satisfaction ✅ Buy direct today! ✅
bathmatedirect.com
Cushion Rings
Bathmate Cushion Rings help ensure that your testicles stay out of your Bathmate penis pump, with skin-safe material preventing any damage. Available for all our hydropump sizes, these cushion rings add an extra level of security to your workout.
bathmatedirect.com
To see videos, sign into YouTube with a Gmail account - The videos are EXPLICIT (NSFW Not Safe for Work - a man's privates in the cylinder)
Search YouTube for Bathmate
Search YouTube for VACURECT REVIEW
The Vacurect is more for creating an erection and using it. The Vacurect has tension rings that attach to the bottom of the cylinder. I bought the deluxe with 10 tension rings, but the Vacurect OTC with 5 tension rings is cheaper.
Vacurect - Aff
Free US Shipping Over $149 Questions? 1-877-266-7699 Your Sex Life Isn't Over Vacurect is the quick, easy solution for your erectile dysfunction. Creates and maintains an erection for 96% of men. Erection within 60 seconds - Be ready in a moment's notice. 1-piece system makes it convenient &...
www.mainspringmedical.com
Archives1
Staff member
Facebook group for Sex Love and Prostate Cancer
www.facebook.com
تسجيل الدخول إلى فيسبوك
قم بتسجيل الدخول إلى فيسبوك لبدء المشاركة والتواصل مع أصدقائك وعائلتك والأشخاص الذين تعرفهم.
www.facebook.com
Archives1
Staff member
@Thudson1965
The penile length...
Was that shortage off a flaccid penis? Cause to notice any shortage other than a flaccid penis, means you was getting erections at that point?
I don't really notice much shortage difference in myself yet.. But I've had no erections.
A bit confused?
The penile length...
Was that shortage off a flaccid penis? Cause to notice any shortage other than a flaccid penis, means you was getting erections at that point?
I don't really notice much shortage difference in myself yet.. But I've had no erections.
A bit confused?
Archives1
Staff member
Wowjustwow -- Yes, definitely! My husband has ED. So I like to read posts about it. It gives me knowledge & tips & other men's & couples' experiences. Last week I wanted to give my husband oral sex, but he said he wasn't ready. But he had been sending me texts that said otherwise. I'm stumped frankly! Must talk to him, but don't quite know what to say. He's been taking a Viagra-type med. Maybe it's not working so well? I know they didn't give him enough to take every day. I know there's every day Cialis. Right?
Archives1
Staff member
@Pegasi99 - I too send my wife signals and I want to lay with her for all my being. I am not sure you are in the same position with your other, but please talk to him. There is not much worse in my life that my inability to please my wife and I am very bad at talking about it. I rather avoid it and pretend it is just me being exhausted. My wife would rather not talk about it as well and it breaks my heart. I am that strong man and have a problem initiating the talk. Weakness is not something we deal well with?
Archives1
Staff member
@pegasi99 How is your husband's incontinence? I am 5 1/2 mths post surgery myself and while my incontinence has improved considerably I am still not confident enough to engage in physical activity involving my penis with my wife although I desperately want to ~ I am still worried and embarrassed about possible leakage at this stage.
Archives1
Staff member
@Pegasi99
I am under the impression from my urologist I will be starting a everyday Cialis soon. I can't relate to anything sexual at this juncture in my recovery for I am less than 18 days removed from my surgery.
I'm trying to get a feel from others here as to what expectations should be.
However if I had a partner willing to compromise and stimulate me as you are willing to him...I agree with #wetdad on his comment.
Be open. Be willing to ask him the hard questions and most of all, be understanding that as Men we are not all capable of relaying information that makes us feel compromised, or less of a man.
I know I am a alpha male. I know I am prideful and strong.
Truth be told, deep down I am concerned and a bit scared about everything in my recovery. I have no control of it's outcome and that is frightening.
Be strong for him as well as yourself. Take a chance and be provocative and take the reigns. If he finds her can't perform, well be understanding.
I am under the impression from my urologist I will be starting a everyday Cialis soon. I can't relate to anything sexual at this juncture in my recovery for I am less than 18 days removed from my surgery.
I'm trying to get a feel from others here as to what expectations should be.
However if I had a partner willing to compromise and stimulate me as you are willing to him...I agree with #wetdad on his comment.
Be open. Be willing to ask him the hard questions and most of all, be understanding that as Men we are not all capable of relaying information that makes us feel compromised, or less of a man.
I know I am a alpha male. I know I am prideful and strong.
Truth be told, deep down I am concerned and a bit scared about everything in my recovery. I have no control of it's outcome and that is frightening.
Be strong for him as well as yourself. Take a chance and be provocative and take the reigns. If he finds her can't perform, well be understanding.
Archives1
Staff member
Flaccid
I can look at a diagram of the penis and see that the penis is outside the pelvic floor. Perceived and actual shrinkage is common after prostatectomy. Most of the length returns in 6 months as blood flow improves and nerves heal.
Be proactive with your surgeon/urologist. Daily cialis, pump, etc
I can look at a diagram of the penis and see that the penis is outside the pelvic floor. Perceived and actual shrinkage is common after prostatectomy. Most of the length returns in 6 months as blood flow improves and nerves heal.
Be proactive with your surgeon/urologist. Daily cialis, pump, etc
Archives1
Staff member
Gentlemen,
Fourteen years ago my husband learned he had prostate cancer. After about two hours of just holding each other and crying Bob, a doctor, began doing all the research he could. At that time, and at his age - 65 - the best course of action was clearly to have the prostate removed surgically. But, even with the best doc (which he had) there were risks of impotence and incontinence. I told him that I would rather he wore diapers for the rest of his life and our romantic times were just cuddling if it meant that he would live and I would have him with me.
At first, Bob just needed a "Light Days" pad in his briefs and his erections were almost as they were before surgery. But as the years went by, his erections became smaller and smaller. And that was wonderful for me. Because, as I became post-menopausal, with a vaginal lining like tissue paper, intercourse was very painful - even with estrogen creme. But that soon ceased to be a problem. Bob's small erections were just right for me. We were a perfect match.
Now, he sometimes gets an erection in the shower with the pulsating water but in bed he rarely does. But here's the main reason I decided, hesitantly, to chime in on this thread - you do NOT have to have an erection to have an orgasm. As Bob tells me, the set of nerves that cause an erection are a different set than the ones that cause an ejaculation/orgasm (which, at this point in your life will most likely be dry). And the thing that he loves is that his orgasms now go on and on and on - like a woman's. These are things that he shared as the doctor at a men's post prostate surgery support group. They were met with doubt and surprise at first but then, gradually, most of the participants discovered they were true.
How does Bob have an organsm without an erection? Oral sex, or being inside me just an inch or so with a vibrator applied to my perineum, or a vibrator with oral sex, or manual stimulation. Does he leak urine in his excitement? Often. But that's just part of the game and I've gotten used to it. You'll deal with alot of things when you love someone. On our bedside table with the oils and the vibrator is also a small towel and a glass of water for me.
What turns him on most, and what sometimes creates a somewhat semi-rigid but small penis (just the right size) is pleasuring me. Is he impotent? Definitely not if you consider that one definition of potent is "achieving or bringing about a particular result: effective." And that he does. His desired "particular result" is to make love to me and give me orgasms and that does not require a big dick. As a matter of fact the majority of nerves in the vagina are concentrated in only the first third - about an inch. So if you'd like to pleasure your woman - an inch or two of erection is all you need.
Except that the most sensitive part, the one that creates an orgasm is the clitoris - not the vagina. So gentlemen, we ladies don't really need your penis. A finger tickling at the opening to the vagina while giving oral sex is great. If your sexual partner actually wants more than that, dildos come in all shapes and sizes. Kissing, stroking, licking are all lovely and vaginas and clitoris can be pleasured in many ways - even tickled with a flaccid penis.
I am astonished that I have written this and been so frank but many of you sounded so sad that you could not "get it up" that I wanted to help. I'll close by saying that amongst my friends, when we talk about some husband's sadness at not having erections much anymore (mind you we've all been married over fifty years)many say, that if only they could convince them that it is not necessary there would be far less disappoint and much more fun and experimentation. My most erogenous zone is my brain. When my husband and I talk and intimately share want we want and need and enjoy and then make an effort to give each other just that, sex is an expression of love, not merely penetration. As a matter of fact, penetration is really not necessary. But talk is.
(PS - This took alot of bravery to write to a male audience. I would ask that you respect that. Thank you for understanding)
Fourteen years ago my husband learned he had prostate cancer. After about two hours of just holding each other and crying Bob, a doctor, began doing all the research he could. At that time, and at his age - 65 - the best course of action was clearly to have the prostate removed surgically. But, even with the best doc (which he had) there were risks of impotence and incontinence. I told him that I would rather he wore diapers for the rest of his life and our romantic times were just cuddling if it meant that he would live and I would have him with me.
At first, Bob just needed a "Light Days" pad in his briefs and his erections were almost as they were before surgery. But as the years went by, his erections became smaller and smaller. And that was wonderful for me. Because, as I became post-menopausal, with a vaginal lining like tissue paper, intercourse was very painful - even with estrogen creme. But that soon ceased to be a problem. Bob's small erections were just right for me. We were a perfect match.
Now, he sometimes gets an erection in the shower with the pulsating water but in bed he rarely does. But here's the main reason I decided, hesitantly, to chime in on this thread - you do NOT have to have an erection to have an orgasm. As Bob tells me, the set of nerves that cause an erection are a different set than the ones that cause an ejaculation/orgasm (which, at this point in your life will most likely be dry). And the thing that he loves is that his orgasms now go on and on and on - like a woman's. These are things that he shared as the doctor at a men's post prostate surgery support group. They were met with doubt and surprise at first but then, gradually, most of the participants discovered they were true.
How does Bob have an organsm without an erection? Oral sex, or being inside me just an inch or so with a vibrator applied to my perineum, or a vibrator with oral sex, or manual stimulation. Does he leak urine in his excitement? Often. But that's just part of the game and I've gotten used to it. You'll deal with alot of things when you love someone. On our bedside table with the oils and the vibrator is also a small towel and a glass of water for me.
What turns him on most, and what sometimes creates a somewhat semi-rigid but small penis (just the right size) is pleasuring me. Is he impotent? Definitely not if you consider that one definition of potent is "achieving or bringing about a particular result: effective." And that he does. His desired "particular result" is to make love to me and give me orgasms and that does not require a big dick. As a matter of fact the majority of nerves in the vagina are concentrated in only the first third - about an inch. So if you'd like to pleasure your woman - an inch or two of erection is all you need.
Except that the most sensitive part, the one that creates an orgasm is the clitoris - not the vagina. So gentlemen, we ladies don't really need your penis. A finger tickling at the opening to the vagina while giving oral sex is great. If your sexual partner actually wants more than that, dildos come in all shapes and sizes. Kissing, stroking, licking are all lovely and vaginas and clitoris can be pleasured in many ways - even tickled with a flaccid penis.
I am astonished that I have written this and been so frank but many of you sounded so sad that you could not "get it up" that I wanted to help. I'll close by saying that amongst my friends, when we talk about some husband's sadness at not having erections much anymore (mind you we've all been married over fifty years)many say, that if only they could convince them that it is not necessary there would be far less disappoint and much more fun and experimentation. My most erogenous zone is my brain. When my husband and I talk and intimately share want we want and need and enjoy and then make an effort to give each other just that, sex is an expression of love, not merely penetration. As a matter of fact, penetration is really not necessary. But talk is.
(PS - This took alot of bravery to write to a male audience. I would ask that you respect that. Thank you for understanding)
Archives1
Staff member
@Faithab
What a blessing you are indeed. Not only for the patience you have exhibited with your husband's situation but also with the way you have laid out your personal experiences for all to read. That does take courage. Thank you.
One can only hope to have or to find a loving and devoted partner such as yourself. The struggle is definitely real! For both parties involved.
I am personally grateful for you and your ability to share such intimate moments with complete strangers. Just know the good that comes from this is more than you'll ever get to see... But trust me, I guarantee you this right here... That article you have written will be read and reread by myself and others in hope that we all find or recognize that we have someone as understanding as you in this moment of doubt.
God bless you.
What a blessing you are indeed. Not only for the patience you have exhibited with your husband's situation but also with the way you have laid out your personal experiences for all to read. That does take courage. Thank you.
One can only hope to have or to find a loving and devoted partner such as yourself. The struggle is definitely real! For both parties involved.
I am personally grateful for you and your ability to share such intimate moments with complete strangers. Just know the good that comes from this is more than you'll ever get to see... But trust me, I guarantee you this right here... That article you have written will be read and reread by myself and others in hope that we all find or recognize that we have someone as understanding as you in this moment of doubt.
God bless you.
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