does anyone ever flat out tell you you smell?

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and how do you react to it (what do you think)

if it's someone I know, I really apreciate the honesty (though I do prefer they take me aside, rather than tell everyone oh, she stinks). I go a bit red in the face, but at least they've been honest with me and I can " sort it out"

if it's a stranger, I really don't handle it well. people who I don't even know asking me when I last showered or telling me that I stink I really don't think is on. worry about yourself, and let me worry about myself

that's just how I handle it

you?

 

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First give them the benefit of yhe doubt, they may not know what you struggle with.
Strangers that do that have no self awareness.
Be warned that if it happens a little that people say something then maybe it happens more than you are told.
Take this opportunity to look at yourself and precautions you take. Better spray, better diaper, better timing?
You will get some good answers today, I am sure

 

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I am sorry you have had that experience. I'd tell them you have a medical condition. What's you excuse for being so insensitive?

 

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I was told by a co worker last week that I smelled. It was a very hot day and I was wearing a cloth backed Tena. I had wet while driving into the office and had not had a chance to change as I was only supposed to be in and out.. at any rate he was very embarrassed when I told home if my medical condition but it made me reconsider what type a wear when and much more aware of the need to change more often...

 

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Since I'm just a bedwetter- its easier to hide the smell, since as long as I take a shower, I'm good.

But there's been a couple. There was one day where I thought I was good and put fresh clothes on and my mom politely remarked that I should probably shower. They check on me from time to time so of course after I took a shower and wanted to know if I was following up with my urologist.

Parents can be embarassing.

 

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Better them to tell you than others. Mine used to make sure I combed my hair right!

 

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And @Doug, if my mom didn't like the way my hair was sticking out all over the place, she'd say, "Is your comb broken?" Ahhh the good old days!
And Emily, I'm sorry if someone is boorish enough to say you smell. People who tell others they smell are just plain insensitive and were brought up poorly. Probably more to be pitied that anything and thank God you weren't brought up that way! Myself, I wouldn't even dignify such a comment with an answer.
Or , "If you really MUST know, I have a medical condition. Maybe you'd like to walk in my shoes for a day and see how you do with that!" And to make it even more snarky, add. "Thank you so much for your undying concern. You are a great humanitarian! A regular Dt. Schweitzer you are!"
Or, "Well I may be incontinent but it is far less of a handicap than being insensitive. YOU are the one I feel sorry for! I pray that you will see the light someday as I may NEVER be as perfect as you!"
Well I think we can go on all night with come-backs. As for me, I can come out with some real zingers! BUT that happens five to ten minutes AFTER I needed them!!!
I hope that doesn't happen to you but just to be on the safe side, put powder, or corn starch, in when you change; change as often as you can; plastic pants over the diaper and maybe a loose skirt might help.

 

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I am kinda in the same situation as @Honeeecombs having to deal with just bedwetting so having a 'smell' about me is not really an issue. On wet mornings the sheet, bed pad and night clothes go right into the wash and me into the shower.

Now having said that there have been some days where after a wet morning I think I smell a faint whiff of pee about me. I think it is more psychological than anything, but you get that nagging feeling of did I wash as good as I could have. I have had a few times where rushed in the morning so I just kinda used a wash cloth to clean myself up instead of a full shower. Never had anyone say anything to me, but those days are a bit stressful as my mind starts to nag me about not being clean enough.

On some of the days where I think I smell a faint whiff of pee or the mornings that I just washcloth clean myself I will ask my wife if she smells anything. she usually replies, I only smell your crazy dumb self, nothing word there except you. My wife is the coolest, just saying.

 

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This happened to me when I was in the 7th grade around 1963. It was a fellow girl classmate who told me I stink. How true it was. I started showering before school instead of at night the next day.

 

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My wife will always tell me if I smell of pee.

 

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Hi Emily, I know I had some suggestions up above on what to say but I am still disturbed to think that people really are that callous to comment on the way you smell. Thinking about it more, I want to ask, are you a teacher or do you work in a day care center for children? Kids tend to be very open and honest about things. And if they see something or smell something that's out of the ordinary they will comment on it. They don't do it to be mean but they just haven't learned all there is to learn yet. At the nature center where I volunteer we have kids who come in on field trips and a lot of times they don't hold back on comments about things, such as the way the wetlands smell as we take them to the dock for their lesson. They just say it. If it's something new to them we explain it to the kids and most of the time they then understand.
But if it were me working at the school or child care center, I would quietly take the child aside (don't want to embarrass the child) and one-on-one explain that it isn't cool to comment on the way people smell. Then give further explanation if needed and answer questions the child may have honestly. This could be turned into a real learning opportunity for a child to learn about incontinence and how it affects people. If this turns out to be a one-time thing, then the child has learned his lesson. But if the same child comments again on the way someone smells then it's time to do something as dictated by school policy like sending him to the principal's office, a time out, or sending a note home to the parents.
But if it isn't a child making those comments to you then obviously no one in THAT person's younger days ever took the time or interest to talk frankly to him or her.

 

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My wife is my watch dog.

 

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Bill, oh boy are little kids open and honest! They will announce the zit on your nose to the entire class. (Yes, I speak from direct experience).

 

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Hey @Steven1980, I think all of us who have been involved in some kind of teaching have experienced exactly that! I have been a substitute teacher and also a camp counselor and I quickly learned that when you're "on stage" in front of the kids you've got to look your best. If I nick myself shaving, I make sure all of the blood is gone and double check it when I get to the nature center.
Realizing that kids notice a lot, I tried an experiment one day. We have name tags that we always wear when the kids are around. Just for fun, I pinned mine upside down. Sure enough the minute the kids got off the bus and lined up in my group, someone said, "Your name tag is upside down!" I looked down at the tag and said, "No, it looks right-side up to me!" (at least from that angle!)

Working with kids is a lot of fun, but you got to keep on your toes!

 

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Good story! Most kids I taught that were k-3rd were moderate to severe developmentally disabled. Those kids were brutal. The non verbal ones had their own challenges but they, at least, didnt speak up and announce any issues. Lol I got out of that field when my health got worse but I'm sure that even as a healthy person, I would probably not be doing it now. Its getting harder and harder. And definitely more risk to teachers on several levels.

 

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I read you loud and clear on that one @Steven1980. I have subbed quite a bit and that did include kids who were developmentally disabled, or what we call ESE. I also worked at an Easter Seals camp that served kids like those. Sad part about it, those kids couldn't help it and they had afflictions that were beyond their control and present big challenges to caregivers and teachers. It is a completely different set of rules and one can only admire those who stick with it and teach those kids day after day, year after year. There is a special place in Heaven for them!
At Trout Lake, our groups are regular elementary school kids (pre-K through 5) and they do communicate with us on a normal basis. Of course there are exceptions and they are very few and far between. I hope I'm not sounding biased or anything but working with them is a real pleasure. For the most part, their teachers do handle them well and the kids are interested in the lessons we present to them. Rarely is the time when I'm NOT sorry to see them go at the end of the day!