Diaper stigma

Im not concerned about people finding out about my heavy nightly incontinence. Its my dislike of myself, this is just more than i can bear, the loathing of it. I can push it under the rug much of the time most days but i used to love to go to bed to sleep now its a grim reminder that i will only fall asleep when i start to pee not before. I would not dream of asking a partner to sleep with me. Im too restless tossing anyhow. Then it varies between a steady roar and a slow endless stream. I hate diapers it puddles and it is worse. Meds do nothing and i refuse surgery.
 
For daily life i have found my interest in humanity is dwindled and cynical. I have spent my life in service of others and it has left me used and used up so i do not court friendship.Volunteer! Meet like minded people! So i joined a dog rescue when i wanted a dog in my new resident state. I successfully helped organize a straggling group which ate every minute 7 days a week snd yielded nothing but admiration and platitudes of people who i feel nothing for and no sense of common froendship for friendships sake although the motions have been gone through of chat and meals etc. Helped many dogs though.
I collect vintage and antique dolls and participate in on line forums to discover the time and identity of them. This is my sole pleasure for no benefit but mine. I sit outside in good weather and read a good deal when im not taking care of the needs of my now deceased mother or my current household of kindergartener and daughter or trying to enhance their life with craft and music etc. My brothers and son call quite alot as a sounding board from across the USA. The thing that keeps me feeling valuable is being of use to others.
The night time is just the last straw, i feel it destroys any illusion i am happy in this body which has always been so reliable.
 
@Maymay941 I feel like my body hasn't been reliable for a long time. I think a lot of people with my issues would despair, but instead I try to find joy wherever I can.

I am constantly joking with my wife and son and daughter when I can though she lives about 900 miles away. I notice silly things like the Dalai Lama in my twitter feed talking about the work it takes to improve oneself followed immediately by "Thoughts of Dog" telling me what a good job I'm doing.

People will always disappoint, at least a lot of them, but that doesn't have to limit your joy.

I wish I had a grandchild in my life, I keep urging my daughter to get knocked up like her friend, but she'd rather go to school **sigh**.
 
Sorry, i tried to delete my last post Squander it didnt work. Can you delete it?
I recognize i don't want to bring anyone else down and i didn't mean to post.
As has been evidenced here, some people can and have moved on with a spirit of positivity.
Sone days i can be serene some months not.
 
MayMay912 be of good cheer, you have a lot going for you. I like you very much and feel blessed to have know you though our interaction here. Life is hard, it gets harder i Know. I feel so blessed to hve found someone, I know if Larry is called home first by the Lord I will not be able to go on my own. HE is so special and such a good guy. HE enjoys being with me and doing things with me. Sure I have a lot of physical problems but I am willing to put them aside to enjoy life. Whatever the Lord has for me. I was married 34 years t is user. Someone who only cared about themselves. I can't tell you how many times I was abused-it was awful. I just don't think about it and try to live in the now. Sure things come up that remind me of those times, but I still prefer not to think about it. Life is hard, I remember that this is only temporary it is not eternal. One day we will be with the Lord forever. HE loves us and we are his children. WE can never love him the way he loves us-all we can do is love each other and show others what love is about. By doing this we are worshiping and glorifying the Lord in my humble opinion.
 
Hi guys and ladies,
Thank you, each of you. Especially MaeMae and Barbara. I am grateful everyone here has been genuine and honest with their thoughts and sharing their struggles and their solutions, Faith and Strength.
I am so Blessed to have been able to message with everyone. You have no idea. (Well actually you probably do.)
MaeMae, up until recently most of the things I would try at night were mediocre at best. It’s frustrating as heck, and really is bad waking up in a wet bed that has your shirt, underpad, pull-up or diaper soaked through, comforter... Thank you Lord for Nature’s Miracle. Saved my mattress, and everything else countless times.
Just not a great way to start the day. That is how I found NAFC years ago looking for better alternatives. to time and I’m glad I did because I met everyone here. Thank you! I mean that.
So here is me, diabetic, neurogenic bladder, neuropathy in my legs, and a bunch of other stuff. I met a lovely woman 5 years ago and so puts up with me (we put up with each other- ha!) so that’s a plus. Having that talk about hey honey, I have to tell you I um leak...yea that is a whole other topic but every woman I have had to say that too I never had anyone say anything and they understood, and accepted me for me. As I’ve grown older, I have seen friends pass and neighbors in the blink of an eye no longer be able to live on their own. Life is short and all of us are precious. I am glad we still enjoy some things to do. I like to work on computers and love when a neighbor or my folks say can you come take a look and see if you can fix something. I spend allot of time in prayer too, for strength and how to cope with things. It has helped allot in my life. Just saying. Anyway look I have to hit the sack. Thanks for being able to talk with everyone. Very nice to be able to just message or you can email me if you like. My name is Jim and I live in Maryland. Sleep well
 
May - I understand. We cant be happy go lucky all the time. Or I'll at least speak for myself. I cant. I understand about not trusting your body. I just got news today I have degenerative discs in my spine and and an enlarged thyroid. I swear if it's not one thing its another! I may live in DC, a pretty happening place, but I can isolate myself with the best of them
 
Thank you all for letting me say my thoughts. I shouldn't have posted but i am at least very glad to have a place to just SAY this whereas in a community of others i would have to explain incontinence.
I know every one has their own other physical and psychic travails that also go with this human condition.
 
This is why I really LOVE this board and all of you people!! We all have so much going on in every day life and when our bodies fail us in certain aspects it makes life almost unbearable but then you find a board like this with people like all of you and it really is and has been a saving grace to me at least being able to talk about my incontinence I know there are people out there who care and are going through the same thing really helps me feel normal and honestly as many times talked me off the edge. Maymay, you are a true Gem and our lives are much better having been able to get to know you, I truly hope things get better for you and please take care of your mental health however you need to. Life is full of twists and turns so I say lean with the road and if needed find a new road that fits your path!!
 
Thank you Pete and each of you, as you know, incontinence does not come without a connection to other problems, physical ones and sometimes a deep pothole of depression that opens up snd swallows the light.
This forum is great because we can be open and share the whole package.
Most times I feel pretty balanced and grateful for the many simple blessings but when over tired or stressed for a time i fall down the well.
 
@Maymay941 I agree with you. I have shared all sorts of things here that I wouldn't tell anyone face to face. It is great to have a forum where we all have different stories but have a common bond. I'm so pleased that a nurse here in the UK suggested the forum as a similar one here had almost no activity and recently closed. Thank you all, cheers Phil
 
The diaper sigma is bad to avoid accidents.Mine started later in life my wife had to buy a mattress cover to keep things nice and her dry.This is the best place to talk to people.
 
@sport I agree that this is a good place to talk. My problems have become so unpredictable that I sleep in another room with a mattress cover for company. My wife has never seen me in my new underwear! Cheers Phil
 
I agree Physlink we do sleep in same room but sometimes its like she has a small child when we go somewhere.
 
@sport I know what you mean. I carry a small rucksack around with me, just like a child's changing bag except mine is a nice shade of black and grey.
 
I can totally relate to this. It has taken me years to find that special someone and finally I have but in the past was a nightmare. I have had a few girlfriends over the years and I would wait until I got to know them and for them to know me and eventually I would open up that a wear pads/ nappies for bed that it's a medical condition nocturnal enuresis and that it's not my fault and yet they all finished with me because of this problem.
My wife has seen me in nappies loads of times when I'm dry or wet and she has told me it doesn't bother her at all which of course is fantastic.

Just thought I would share
Steve
 
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