Dealing with total bowel and bladder incontinence

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Hey guys,
Just venting I guess....I'm really so stressed out about dealing with the constant bowel accidents and it's just been so tough.The bulk gets to me, the cleaning up gets to me. I'm finding it really hard to cope with. I try my best to shelter my girlfriend from any of it because I find it so gross and I don't want to affect her in any way. I'm just so sad and angry at the same time. And honestly as a guy there's very few things I can think of as clothing choices as well because of the bulk. And it's even worse after a few accidents. I just really cannot express how much I hate this.

 

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sorry-my prayers are with you. I know it is hard sometimes, pray and be grateful you can still move and clean up. blessings -Barb I thank the Lord everyday for my shelter, food, etc.

 

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Hey Andy, I’m so sorry you aren’t doing well with this!! I am only bladder IC and I know I’d feel the same way about it as you do, but you do need to get that out of your head and think about positive things and make sure your mental health stays strong as the thoughts of anger and sadness can quickly turn into serious depression!! You seem like a great guy with a lot to share with the world and our IC shouldn’t stop us from being who we want to be, we are all better people for having this issue as it helps us see struggles in a different light and helps us be more sympathetic and empathetic to those dealing with disabilities!! Be kind to yourself and know that we are here for you!!

 

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Thanks........just today before I got home I had a pretty bad bowel accident and once I got home i could tell the brief was really soiled. It had come all the way to the front of the brief and i'm really worried about infection.......I had to clean the bathtub while cleaning up as well because there was so much....and I couldn't stop crying while cleaning up. I was already dealing with depression since I was in school and even while incontinence isn't the worst thing to deal with in the world it's so socially and emotionally cripling. I ended up washing and scrubbing several times, I really struggle with it at times. I wake up in a soiled and wet brief....i start the day with a shitty mood already. really doesn't help with self confindence. And it's not that i'm not kind to myself it's that my body has betrayed me and i fight so hard to be okay with it.

 

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Having bladder incontinence is bad enough but can be well managed with good quality products where fecal incontinence can be a much bigger challenge and I do suffer from both thank god my fecal issues are few and far between but when I do have fecal issues they can be pretty big and cause a [arge mess and even decent diapers don't always contain the mess

 

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Totally hear you, man.

 

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@andy_r don't worry about venting. Bowel problems can be horrible so we do understand. try to find positive things in life, sounds like you have a supportive girlfriend, this is a positive. Maybe talk with her about your feelings, I know she can't make your bowels behave, but talking about it may help with the depression. Hang on in there, cheers Phil

 

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My heart goes out to all of you. I am at a place in my life right now where my issues are very controllable. I was for many years a place where they were not. Ut did make me more understanding to what people go through in life. think positive. Be happy to be alive and get out of bed everyday. It is not always easy esp. when you have to do everything by yourself. I pray everyday and thank the Lord for all my blessings. Just think about the people in the world who can't afford the things that we can to help us cope and be grateful. Many people cannot afford water or food or cloths-let alone what matches or have the freedoms we have to worship. Just some thoughts for today.

 

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Andy, have you discussed this with a doctor, if you didnt get a listenung doctor, get a referral to a gastroenterologist?
I think finding a doctor who is truly engaged with your problems might be the best route to solutions.
I cant imagine functioning with this issue, but you are. So youre amazing and persevering so you should keep persevering in finding a way to live with less emergencies.

 

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Hey buddy keep your chin up high incontinence is not the worst in the world it may be a bit embarrassing but you learn to live with it yes it is literally a pain in the ass to deal with LOL

 

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@BarbaraDrabek I understand your praising the Lord for all our blessings, but we are also to praise Him for our afflictions.

Paul tells us that we must learn to be content with whatever circumstance we are in. Remember when he asked Jesus to heal him of some condition he was suffering with. Jesus told Paul that his suffering made Jesus more powerful. Someone may ask me if I understand that; of course I don't understand it, and neither did Paul. The important thing is to praise God anyway.

Job learned this lesson too. He was the most righteous man of that time. He had a big family and was very wealthy and in the best of health. God was bragging about Job when Satan challenged God to see if Job would continue being so righteous if he lost everything he had and became very sick. Job was devastated!

God made it abundantly clear that He has the right to bless whomever He will and curse whomever He will. He is the creator, and He has the right to make us in any way He wishes. Does the clay tell the potter what to do? Does the potter owe it to the clay to explain why He creates what He does? This explains why "bad things happen to good people".

As mere humans, this is very hard for us to deal with!

Therefore, I don't comfort myself by saying, "Other people have it worse than me." When I am in the ambulance on the way to the ER I let God speak through me to witness about the sacrifice of His own son for my sins. Jesus endured more suffering than we can imagine, and God's heart was crying as He turned away as Jesus was bleeding and suffocating on the cross for sins He did not commit.

If God and Jesus had not endured that suffering it would be impossible for any of us to be forgiven of our sinful nature. Remember that we are only saved by "faith" in Jesus - not good deeds. Salvation is a gift from God that we do not deserve. All we have to do is confess that we are a sinner and accept the free gift of salvation through faith alone.

Always praise God and give thanks to Him. All things work together for the benefit of those who trust in Jesus.

We are here for only one reason...to praise and glorify Jesus/God.

Thanks be to Jesus or God! Amen.

 

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I feel you and felt hopeless for the first five years post-diagnosis.

It has taken me 10-years to have the courage to share Global Continence Week awareness with my 4,800 friends on Facebook. Hopefully, this puts life into a better perspective for you, sooner than it took me to come to terms.

This week marks the 11th World Continence Week, an awareness campaign to bring a much-needed light on a common problem for many. An estimated 70 percent of people affected by incontinence don’t speak of it. Even if you don't suffer from incontinence, it's very likely someone you know does - although they may not talk about it. It doesn't have to be an uncomfortable word, and it's all in how you frame the issue. Talking openly about health issues can diminish the sense of shame that can come with many illnesses.

In 2009 I suffered a severe spinal cord injury in an accident. I was only 27 years old and have spent 10-years battling cauda equina syndrome, with sciatica and a neurogenic bladder disorder. I was blatantly told to accept my disposition by learning to cope with it as I aged. Now at 36, wanting a normal life, I am still awaiting the FDA's approval for neurologic stem cell treatment. I feel for others in a similar position awaiting stem-cell treatment for much worse issues than mine, as the rest of the world cures their citizens with the best medical advancement in decades.

I understand the feeling of being afraid to seek help. It’s a taboo subject – no one wants to talk about incontinence. The fact is, the myths of incontinence often obstruct people from getting the help they need to live an active lifestyle. Incontinence affects over 13M Americans who have been diagnosed, and possibly millions of others who haven't. Knowing the truth about incontinence can help relieve any embarrassment of our condition.

If you or a loved one experience symptoms, get medical advice fast, seek help before it gets worse, and follow the treatment plan once diagnosed. Things get better once you seek treatment and accept the reality of incontinence. The worst thing to fear is the fear itself of social acceptance. Once you learn to manage and maintain the condition as you see fit, things get better and you accept yourself for the disadvantage of it all. When you learn to get through it, you learn to continue on with a healthy life and forget about the anxiety associated with it.

#WCW2019 #Incontinencematters

 

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Hey Andy- Sorry about your troubles. I know what you are dealing with. I have urinary & bowel incontinenance as a result of radiation damage from cancer treatments. The cancer is gone, thank God, but I am left with scarring & fistulas (basically holes) in the pelvic floor where feces leak through all day. The Doctors say they can't sew the holes because of all the scar tissue. So I basically manage by wearing pads inside my underwear which I change every 2 to 3 hrs and top that with a diaper for any leaks. I need to keep wipes and pads handy at all times. But mostly I watch my diet. I consulted a dietician at the hospital for recommendations and then by trial and error found the best and worst foods to keep loose feces in control. For example, I can't have pickles because of the vinegar, or anything too sweet, or fruits with seeds, or fatty things like butter. The easiest foods for my system are bananas and pasta. Mostly I can eat everything in moderation. But I thank God I survived the cancer and am alive!

 

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Matttyco-great story-May the Lord be with you and thank you for your words of wisdom. I will pray the stem steam procedure you need comes soon. Blessings always, Barb

 

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Indeed, thank you for sharing.

 

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That idea of getting a dietican to discuss best and worst foods is a very good one Bet345!

 

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I am currently beginning appointments with Results PT. They work with Kegel exercises and EMG. I think that’s the correct initials. I am also trying to address the problem from every angle. A nurse practitioner suggested Wellbutrin. It helps the depression and decreases the motility of the bowel. I know vytoza (diabetic med) works for me but my diabetes is borderline and the drug costs $900.00 a month out of pocket. This issue is huge and so decreases my quality of life. Going to a good physician and perhaps a dietitian could help. Good luck

 

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@andy_r,
My problems are urinary urgency, frequency and some leakage. I have had improvement with the implanted Medtronic InterStim device. I know they have another device for bowel problems. Ask your doctor about that.

Caution about all health care providers and specialists:
If they are not able to perform a given procedure themselves they can be less than forthcoming with that suggestion. Of course, the opposite is true too. If that procedure is how they get paid they may over prescribe it; human nature.

"Consumer Reports" has written about this problem, and they are pushing for a system of total disclosure about their biases and how they make money. In the meantime we just have to be cautious.

May God direct your path in this journey!

 

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good ntes Andy-thank you for your insights-we are all here together-I have questions sometimes about what is in my best interest and what is in the doctor's best interest.

 

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@andy_r I think we all relate at some level to what you are going through. Everyone has different issues and require different solutions, but know you are not alone and at least here you don't need to be ashamed.

Lots of good advice here already, one thing I didn't see mentioned was a good diaper cover. They are for when all else fails, and sounds like something that could give you a little assurance when things get bad.

Also, if your girlfriend is a good and decent person, she will understand and you sharing this difficult topic with her may even bring you closer. It all depends on whether your relationship has progressed enough for that. I do think most significant others are very understanding, and a person who reacts badly to a medical issue may not be worth staying with.