concerning sleep

[Archives1]

anyone got any good tips to help me fall back to sleep when I wake up.

this doesn't happen every night (only some), I'll use an example:

today I woke up at 2 30 A.M, promptly used my nappy, (filled it), changed and then couldn't get back to sleep. I would understand this if perhaps I was having problems going, or feeling uncomfortable, but after I changed i was clean, dry, didn't need to do anything in my nappy (not even fart), the perfect set up to sleep, I just couldn't get back to sleep- and at that time of the morning, what do you do?

like I say, it's not every night: sometimes I will sleep through, and I do try and get an early night anyway (yesterday I went to bed at 9)
just a bit irritating. no reason to be awake at stupid o clock, but I am

 

[Archives1]

Since my surgery my sleep has been terrible too. I think in the back of my mind the nappy is going to leak etc. I was prescribed xanax for the times I wake up and can't get back to sleep. It has been working pretty well so maybe you can get something to relax you during the night. I know the feeling of a nice fresh nappy and being finally relaxed because you know your clean and dry. I hope you find a way to overcome the sleep problems. Hang in there

 

[Archives1]

I just can not get off to sleep and when in the end i do i just week up very wet in my dippers my doctor won't give me sleeping pills

 

[Archives1]

So your obviously not incontinent then Emily I'm a little concerned as to why you joined this group.

 

[Archives1]

You need to see a specialist in sleep. I know this because I have sleep apnea and insomnia. It's gotten worse in past few months. I would try to go to sleep around 10pm,then would be up at 2-3am every night. I do have a sleep test tomorrow. I hope I'll get some answers.

 

[Archives1]

You need to see a specialist in sleep. I know this because I have sleep apnea and insomnia. It's gotten worse in past few months. I would try to go to sleep around 10pm,then would be up at 2-3am every night. I do have a sleep test tomorrow. I hope I'll get some answers.

thanks for this post. it's something I am going to seriously look in to. defenetly understand the importance of sleep

 

[Archives1]

I wont ever say that you obviously aren't incontinent just because you said you used your diaper promptly when you woke up. I'm full on incontinent, and sometimes wake up with a full bladder and my bladder empties as I am sitting up or standing up. Prescription sleep pills can be habit forming physically and chemically and non script ones can be mentally habit forming. So it's a careful balance to consider. One of the best longer lasting sleep aid is melatonin. Its said to not be habit forming but any med that your body gets used to to get a desired result can be habit forming. But melatonin is, for many, a great alternative. It works differently on everyone. And may take a few nights to get it to work. Just dont ever take a large dose to increase it's strength. Avoid any stimulus when you wake up. Including looking at your cell phone. It gives off a blue light that is proven to inhibit sleep . Have a regular clock by your bed if you need to see the time. Dont watch 5 min of tv or videos on your cell. Do as little as possible to keep your mind at rest so that returning to sleep is easier. Good luck.

 

[Archives1]

Hi Emily, I like everything @Steven1980 said. It's all right on! And I especially like the recommendation to try melatonin. It doesn't sound like you have a chronic sleep problem which is good, so at this point I wouldn't try for a prescription sleep med unless of course the problems continue and your sleep patterns end up completely out of whack. That would be a different story altogether. But melatonin works gently and it really doesn't leave you with any drowsy feeling the next day. I also agree you need to take it for a few nights before you notice any effect. I completely sympathize with you as I sometimes wake up say at 4:00 a.m. and have a hard time getting back to sleep. Trouble is, I start thinking about things, then I feel my brain just going into overdrive as things just run through my mind. The worst is realizing that I inadvertently skipped making a payment on something. When that happens I literally jump out of bed and run to see if I had marked the payment on the calendar and then check my tickler file to see if I still have that bill in there. At that point it's a real mind-blower as I contemplate having to pay a late fee. Then I'm done for! Might as well get up! That definitely is a stimulus which we need to avoid!
But for a quick fix, if you find yourself unable to sleep, read something extremely dull. And I think that might help since your mind shouldn't be stimulated at that point.

 

[Archives1]

@nappyman Were you joking with your asinine comment, or are you actually that rude? I think YOU are the one who needs to be banned from this forum. Who the hell are you to say someone is or isn’t incontinent? I wake up most nights needing to pee. Lots of the time I lose bladder control as I sit/stand up. So according to you, that doesn’t count for being incontinent? Good thing YOU aren’t a urologist!

 

[Archives1]

Thank you Snow! And thankfully we aren't drawing conclusions based on screen/avatar names. (i.e. Diaperbutt, nappyhead, or another name that is similar) this forum stands out among the many because of its openness, helpfulness, kindness and hopefully, non-judgmental posts. Answers are written in direct or indirect response to a question that was written by someone who needs help. If we dont feel it is a real or honest question or post, we can always skip it and not answer/respond.if we must reply, maybe do so in a way that asks a question to clear something up. Not a blatant statement of fact/or opinion that could be very off base and wrong and very harmful to the other person. I'm not right there to see somebody's reaction to my comment or insult. I might have really ruined their day. So I simply follow the forum's written and unwritten rules on posting respectfully. Sorry. I dont usually go off like this. But I did appreciate your response.

 

[Archives1]

Yeah, that list by nappyman was the only directly rude comment I’ve ever seen posted here.

 

[Archives1]

When my current mobility issues have been at their worst I have woken up with the urge to urinate and been unable to get up in time to make it to the toilet, resulting in a large accident. I imagine I'm not the only one out there with this issue and urge issues are definitely made worse by immobility. Fortunately, it's not a constant thing but I do always have the worry of whether I'll be able to make it in time when I get up in the morning.

Regarding not being able to get back to sleep, I can get back to sleep without an issue when I wake up in the middle of the night but as I'm waking up at least twice now, I'm having big issues getting back to sleep after the toilet visit in the early morning. It's probably because there's more activity outside and often my alarm is set for 7 or 8 am anyway. My only advice is to not just lie there but to do something. I've found that listening to an audiobook of something I actually really want to listen to is a sure fire way to send me to sleep, it even worked in the hospital!

 

[Archives1]

@snow and @Steven1980,I'm completely and totally with you! Although I've been here a comparatively short time, I, too, have never seen a comment here like the nappyman one above! I have seen similar comments on other forums and I tend to pay them no mind whatsoever and then drop out of that forum because I'm not about belittling people who have come for help. Incontinence affects every one in different ways, as those problems may be big or smaller ones but all questions and sincere comments about someone's particular situation deserves sincere and thoughtful answers. And @nappyman, to question someone's physical condition and sincerity without ever having met or talked with them is just out and out uncalled for! I don't think it's the least bit funny and it sure as hell does NOT reflect the spirit of this forum. Everybody here knows s/he may feel free to let their feelings about incontinence and diapers etc., all hang out! We all have our different ways of looking at it and handling it and that is fine! It's whatever works for you and everybody's suggestions are really appreciated.
And @emily91, if you're reading this, please know that we have your back completely and please, please, please don't be discouraged from taking part in our forum. I hope this doesn't ruin your experience here and that you're still able to trust us. I've said it before and I'll say it again, we're happy you're here and I frankly really enjoy your British insights, humor and points of view. Your's a great addition to the mix! We completely welcome you!

 

[Archives1]

@snow and @Steven1980,I'm completely and totally with you! Although I've been here a comparatively short time, I, too, have never seen a comment here like the nappyman one above! I have seen similar comments on other forums and I tend to pay them no mind whatsoever and then drop out of that forum because I'm not about belittling people who have come for help. Incontinence affects every one in different ways, as those problems may be big or smaller ones but all questions and sincere comments about someone's particular situation deserves sincere and thoughtful answers. And @nappyman, to question someone's physical condition and sincerity without ever having met or talked with them is just out and out uncalled for! I don't think it's the least bit funny and it sure as hell does NOT reflect the spirit of this forum. Everybody here knows s/he may feel free to let their feelings about incontinence and diapers etc., all hang out! We all have our different ways of looking at it and handling it and that is fine! It's whatever works for you and everybody's suggestions are really appreciated.
And @emily91, if you're reading this, please know that we have your back completely and please, please, please don't be discouraged from taking part in our forum. I hope this doesn't ruin your experience here and that you're still able to trust us. I've said it before and I'll say it again, we're happy you're here and I frankly really enjoy your British insights, humor and points of view. Your's a great addition to the mix! We completely welcome you!

hi, was just about to go to bed and I saw this post (actually I had the urge to log in, to check this thread)

first off: let me asure you that I am not going anywhere!. I too, have only been here a few days and all ready found this place to be like a family to me (I have a lot of support here in my short time on this site)
regarding, the comment in question, yes, I am hurt, and I am actually surprised a comment like that is not only posted here (but isn't actually deleted from the boards). if I was a moderator, I'd have something to say about it. we're all here for the same reason, because we struggle with incontinence. bottom line, and if someone has an issue with it,, (and I don't mean to come across nasty), but perhaps they shouldn't be here if they can't support other members

yes: everyone with the condition is welcome here. what's not welcome is bullying.

I know this is a long reply, but I did need to vent.

but: I am staying around guys, please don't worry!. I will be here when you wake tomorrow

but for now I'm off to bed. been awake since 2 30 A.M and honestly could do with some sleep

 

[Archives1]

Regarding waking up and then using your diaper... It varys with me. I don't wake up wet every morning, but when I do, (Which is most mornings now days..) one of two things has happened. Either I wake up with a wet diaper in the morning, and have an empty bladder, OR I wake up during the night, with the urge to go. But here's the thing - When I wake up during the night with the urge to go, my diaper is ALWAYS already wet! So obviously, I had already wet at some point in my sleep.

Now because I sometimes wake up with the urge to go, does that mean I do not have an incontinence problem? Since I'm already wet, my guess is that my issue is real. Now WHY this happens is the million
dollar question. I assume it has something to do with when the bladder sends out the "Full" signal - during the REM cycle, or during the deep sleep cycle??? I've never had a sleep study done, so I'm not sure if that would show anything.

 

[Archives1]

Hi @Emily, Wow, 2:30? That is late! And you can read this in the morning and I hope it was a good night for you! Don't worry about a long reply. I tend to write them as well, as everyone here knows! Sadly, I'm a lousy typist so it takes me awhile! And I'm glad you were able to vent a bit. You are 1000 percent right in that this forum is like a family here. It didn't take very long for me to get that impression as well. And like family, we support you and each other completely. (If you were to rob a bank, then maybe not quite so much! ) But all kidding aside, incontinence is a struggle and members deserve getting only constructive and friendly help when they ask for it. And we, as the "responding members," gladly respect that. Very frankly, Emily, I'm surprised, too, that comment was allowed to slip through. But things like that happen, after all, we're only human!
In your thoughts here you don't come across as nasty, not at all! You are just speaking up and that's good! But there is absolutely no excuse for bullying or calling someone out because someone is suspicious of another member's intentions. After all, this isn't reality TV! If one is unable or unwilling to offer complete support then I agree they have no place here, none whatsoever.
So thank you, Emily, for being a valued member and we are happy to see you get back on the horse that threw you and resume your ride with us! (don't know why I got into the equestrian analogy?)

 

[Archives1]

If my experience and this forum has shown me anything it's that like most things incontinence is a spectrum and you can still get the urge to go to the toilet and have significant problems. Whilst I still get the urge to go, I get a significant amount of involuntary leakage after each visit (and it appears I have more toilet visits per day than the average). Plus, the bladder and bowel urge issues mean that if I'm out and about and not near a toilet (or more recently, unable to move in time) then accidents inevitably happen.

In short, whilst I still have the urge to use the toilet, were I not wearing some form of nappy/diaper 24/7, I'd be in a constant state of anxiety about finding toilets, be in a constant state of discomfort and have to change my clothes all the time. Indeed, it wasn't until I had a rash a few weeks ago and had my first few days without protection in a while that I remembered how miserable being wet is and wondered how I coped for so long without any help in that department. Indeed, I think that my perception for years that incontinence just meant a total loss of control led to me stalling about seeing someone about my after dribble issue because I figured I was worrying about nothing. Given my issues have steadily gotten worse and these new muscular symptoms have now arisen, I wish I'd seen someone sooner.

 

[Archives1]

I have to weigh in as well. While I try really hard to get to the toilet over using a diaper, I am forever in a diaper I have found. If I were to wake dry and in need, I would attempt to get up, but as many have said that act causes a flood to occur. If it is standing and disrupting my comfort, vs making the mental leap to just letting go and letting the diaper do its job, count on comfort. It is hard enough to get to sleep or stay asleep. The act of standing just delays any return to slumber as my heart rate goes up, BP changes, and my mind click to the ON position. Just making the choice to utilize the tools at hand does not make one less incontinent or needing of the comfort.

I wish all here the best with the sleep issues and it seems we are all not alone in our underwear but a general issue with sleep. Perhaps the Covid can carry some of that blame?

 

[Archives1]

@wetdad, maybe the Covid is somewhat to blame here for sleep issues, but a lot is also just the stress of daily living, too. Your explanation about the mechanics of getting up in the night seems to apply to me as well. I'm sure my heart rate goes up as well as BP, after all, you're going from a rested slumbering state to an awake state in just a couple of minutes. So something's bound to happen. And yes, the mind does click to the "on" position after all that happens too! Incontinence does not work on a particular schedule. It just happens when it does, whether it takes place while you're sleeping or when you've just woken up or at a later point.
And Sci_Fi_Fan, I've never before heard that incontinence is a spectrum type of thing. Thinking about that, I see that is very true! It isn't black or white but incontinence issues can be various shades of gray, if you catch my drift! I know what you mean when you say if you weren't wearing some type of protection it would be a constant anxiety finding the nearest toilet and just making sure you weren't about to "go" in your clothes. That's the way it would be for me, so why put up with that if you don't have to and just wear what underwear suits you best.

 

[Archives1]

I’m right there with you on both counts! I have terrible pain induced insomnia, matter of fact last night I only got about an hour before my legs started knotting up. The only way to stop it is to get up & walk around, by then I am up! I just found out there are now tumors growing on my thoracic spine. I just had a large tumor take out 4 vertebrae in my neck last year, and Sacral/Lumbar area is fused, screwed & plated from S2/S1 up to L-3, so the pain and spasms come out of nowhere and can effect any part of me. Sleep is WONDERFUL! I’ve explained before out desperation after my accident I signed up for a number “Experimental” treatments, one of which was attempted to cauterize a number of areas of my bladder lining telling me it would act as a nerve block. I had to have 5 surgeries afterward to try to fix the mess they created but Still have constant burning & spasms. If I wake up with a full feeling bladder, I empty it as quickly as possible before it starts spasming as once it starts it doesn’t stop. The other thing is as soon as I stand up it empties on it own anyhow! When we all live with this I think you learn two things fast, everyone is wired a little different (otherwise we wouldn’t deal with this!) whatever you have to do to minimize pain, embarrassment & disruption of life you do it! 2) Don’t judge others, especially someone that comes to you for help. That’s abuse, I equate that with beating a bedwetting child. We do know you never know what’s under our clothes, how can you determine what’s under someone else’s skin?

BTW, I do keep a bottle of Melatonin chewies on the nightstand!