young adults with lifelong waterworks

[Archives1]

Hello, I am 21 years old and have struggled with nighttime issues my entire life. I wore pull-ups and adult diapers and pads until I was about 17 then had a good few months and stopped wearing them. That dry spell didn't last long then it started to come and go. Recently it is worse than ever. My boyfriend is nice and understands but it is still embarrassing every time it happens. I feel like if I give up and go back to wearing some kind of pad then somehow I'm a failure? It doesn't make sense but for some reason, I can't bring myself to do it.

My Nana fought for me to try the alarm system, but my mom wasn't really being proactive about it and left me to my own devices when I was in 4th or 5th grade. I ended up totally disabling it in my sleep and never even knowing. Sometimes I can remember having dreams about needing to pee and not finding a bathroom, sometimes I think I am in the bathroom, and sometimes I never know until I wake up wet and cold and even then it might take me a while to notice. I guess it's me still trying to convince myself I didn't do what I think I did, lol.

I went to a Dr a few years ago and he just ordered an ultrasound on my kidneys and said I was fine. Told me to get an alarm. Cost me a lot of money and time and I don't feel inclined to try that again.

Basically, I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of this life of never clean sheets and not being able to buy a nice mattress because I'm afraid of ruining it. I feel like I'm too old for this and alone. I don't know anyone else with this problem. Or, if I do then I just don't know for the same reason the only person who knows about me is the one sleeping in my bed. I'm hoping to find people like me looking for common ground and support.

 

[Archives1]

Wearing protection is the lesser of all evils. Wearing good quality diapers **may** allow you to have a good night’s sleep. I also recommend a waterproof sheet protector and maybe even a bed pad to place underneath you. If you had trouble seeing or hearing you wouldn’t think twice about wearing glasses or using a hearing aid. This is really no different but there is a stigma attached to wearing diapers.

 

[Archives1]

Totally hear your frustration!! I hate that there is so much unknown just that after costly tests its a shrug and a goodbye although its always nice to hear there is nothing erong with you.
Buy a GREAT matress you deserve your sleep, and the very best plastic matress protector. Get quality diapers and a plastic pantie to pull over if you are a leaker or side sleeper ( i suggest Amazon for the plastic pants and protector).
The PINK TAX, its a cute word for the fact that womens sanitary products have been charged TAX for a NECESSITY and as a woman we often usually or most of us make less than a man and have a monthly feeling of biological discomfort and we bear the heirs snd heiresses and clean up after their messises (couldn't help that one, sorry). So we already start out the gate with low pay and tax on bodily fluid.
Being a woman hasnt been fair for a long time and change is coming albeit slowly.
Living in a less than exquisitely tuned specimen of a human body but at least in a country with quality assistance products isnt fair either. Very few countries are fair and tend to be Scandinavian.
So people with hearing deficit pay for hearing aids, people with mobility issues pay for mobility devices. Incontinent people pay for diapers and some folk pay for routine menstrual protection and are all are taxed for it.
Yep, it sux.

 

[Archives1]

Hi purple,
My name is Jim and I’m in Maryland. Thanks for posting. You have allot of folks here in the support groups that really do understand. I had a similar thing was dry for a few years and then the wetting started back up a few years later. Was checked out and told everything seemed okay.
I know how stressful the wetting accidents are. I would say if you can, don’t feel defeated just find some decent pads or pull ones that work for you and see if maybe there are other doctors in your area that can help find a solution without taking you to the cleaners.
It took me a long time but I like Northshore’s customer service and they make really good stuff to take care of containing leaks. Find yourself a good mattress and get one of the PUL material protectors to go over it. They are allot cooler and last a long time if you follow the washing instructions. If you need to knock out stains or odors. Walmart has Nature’s Miracle in the pet section and it’s amazing and affordable spray bottle for that.

Just look at it like hey, I have to wear different underwear sometimes. But at least you wake up dry and not stressed out.
Just wanted to say hi and let you know most of us have gone through things and have found some great solutions sometimes. You aren’t alone by any means. Just allot of caring folks here going through the same or similar stuff. Glad you decided to post. Hope to hear more from you in the future. I’m lucky too, my honey just accepts it as no biggie. Thank helps allot. It can be allot to deal with, but you aren’t alone. Always glad to listen if you just want to chat or vent. Hope you have a good evening and hang in there you aren’t alone.

Kind regards,
Jim

 

[Archives1]

Thanks for note on Natures miracle Jim. I lost alot of my sense of smell to a good degree years ago so i never know what deodorizing products work. I have small dogs so ive tried every miracle out there

 

[Archives1]

I have a little dog and between me and him. I love that stuff. It works amazing. Saved my old mattress countless times and no one has ever noticed any pee odors. Just neutralizes them.

 

[Archives1]

I’m 40 now. I’ve been having problems since your age. They got progressively worse. You’re not alone. The worst pat is that my doctors can’t put their finger on where the problem is but they know it’s neurological. Don’t let your bladder control your life! I live a happy and successful life despite my incontinence. So can you and everyone else who has the same problem.

 

[Archives1]

purplehairlady: I'd like to add my voice to those who already have replied to your post. This is a medical problem and should be treated as such. That MD only checked your kidneys, but that may not be where the problem is. You need to see a urologist, preferably one who is familiar with or, better still, specializes in women's issues. Your primary care MD should be able to refer you to one, or you could check the closest hospital or clinic. There are tests that you do not report having had done and medications that may help. If the first urologist you see isn't helpful, get a second opinion. I realize that not all areas are rich in medical resources, but you would try to get the best specialist for vision or hearing problems: this is just a different system. You are not alone.

 

[Archives1]

Hello, I am 21 years old and have struggled with nighttime issues my entire life. I wore pull-ups and adult diapers and pads until I was about 17 then had a good few months and stopped wearing them. That dry spell didn't last long then it started to come and go. Recently it is worse than ever. My boyfriend is nice and understands but it is still embarrassing every time it happens. I feel like if I give up and go back to wearing some kind of pad then somehow I'm a failure? It doesn't make sense but for some reason, I can't bring myself to do it.

My Nana fought for me to try the alarm system, but my mom wasn't really being proactive about it and left me to my own devices when I was in 4th or 5th grade. I ended up totally disabling it in my sleep and never even knowing. Sometimes I can remember having dreams about needing to pee and not finding a bathroom, sometimes I think I am in the bathroom, and sometimes I never know until I wake up wet and cold and even then it might take me a while to notice. I guess it's me still trying to convince myself I didn't do what I think I did, lol.

I went to a Dr a few years ago and he just ordered an ultrasound on my kidneys and said I was fine. Told me to get an alarm. Cost me a lot of money and time and I don't feel inclined to try that again.

Basically, I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of this life of never clean sheets and not being able to buy a nice mattress because I'm afraid of ruining it. I feel like I'm too old for this and alone. I don't know anyone else with this problem. Or, if I do then I just don't know for the same reason the only person who knows about me is the one sleeping in my bed. I'm hoping to find people like me looking for common ground and support.

Hi there. I totally get you. I'm 29, and have lost all control over my bladder after having had OAB for years. I have to wear diapers 24/7 in order not to pee myself and my bed all the time. I know the humiliation and the fear someone finds out. I'm going out of my way to keep it a secret from my family. Only my wife and father knows it.
It's good that your boyfriend is supportive, that is very important.
As Diana said, try to find someone who tests you thoroughly, as IC can be treated in a good number of cases. And you also want to make sure it is not a symptom of a more severe issue.
In the meanwhile, try different incontinence products to do d out which is best for you. You don't have to suffer in silence and lock yourself up on your room with wet clothes. You can live an active and full life with the right aid.
Hang in there and don't give up!

 

[Archives1]

I was lucky some problems growing up then dry for several yrs.I was married 2nd time 50yr old then soon wetting came back wife is understanding.The situation is not easy being in diapers especially on trips.Don,t let it control you.

 

[Archives1]

@purplehairlady You are not a failure because you're incontinent. You need to find what works best for you and sometimes you need to push your doctors (something I am not good at myself). Having a medical condition says nothing about you as a person, your actions determine that, not what kind of underwear you wear.

 

[Archives1]

Right.

 

[Archives1]

Well said!

 

[Archives1]

Hello and welcome!! I hope you’ve been able to see your NOT alone and we really do care about you and everyone on this message board and are willing and ready to help however we can!! It may also help to find some counciling to help you sort through these difficult feelings or try to find a group therapy session where you can open up and meet others who are going through similar situations. I know when I’m feeling down I need to feel “normal” and talking with others helps me with that. So reach out when you need to and look for help in your area!! Here in Minnesota there are a few good options for groups and I’ve been fortunate in being part of them to help me through the tough times.

 

[Archives1]

@purplehairlady

I get it, so frustrating at times. But remember don't let your bedwetting define you. That is only a small situation of your life that if you let the frustration fall to the side is really not a big deal. Just keep a waterproof mattress protector on your bed and some extra laundry some mornings.

That said and like I started I get it. Some mornings it is just too much and aggravating and frustrating and you really start to feel bad. On those mornings try and remember, you are an asweomse person no matter.

 

[Archives1]

I have a verse I like allot that gets me through many days. It goes like: Be strong and courageous, do not be discouraged for I know the plans I have made for you, too give you a future and to prosper.

Lots of us know how frustrating it is dealing with a wet bed or mess in the morning, especially if you are next to someone. There some happy mornings and some oh man...not again mornings. It doesn’t define who we are, just a side effect of a medical issue we deal with.

There are some days just hearing from everyone here in this place gives me strength and hope and caring. Thank you all for that. We can all learn, cope and do life a little easier having each other to talk and share with. I am inspired and Blessed by everyone here.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Jim

 

[Archives1]

Don't worry buddy I started become incontinent at the age of 22 I started wearing pull ups but now I'm in diapers and I've learned over the years there's nothing to be embarrassed about it

 

[Archives1]

Thank you so much to everyone here!! These messages are so encouraging. I cried reading many of them!! I knew the statistics for these kinds of issues but I never knew I could actually find support out there. It can be lonely but I'm really glad I found this site.

 

[Archives1]

Purplehair you will meet the kindest people here.
Incontinence brings out the best in people.

 

[Archives1]

Hi Purple,
Glad to have you here. Hope you find some new friends. There are folks from all around the world here and the majority all have incontinence issues of some type. Me included. Anyway, welcome. Glad you are here. Hope you have a great afternoon and evening.

Hugs,
Jim in MD