Would love some advice on how to handle changing in public

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Still very new here and I haven't read much yet about this. I'm curious to hear about how others who need to change a diaper when not home. I've been in diapers for a while and sometimes when I'm out an accident happens and I know I should probably change either from a possible leak or occasionally a bm happens. I'm usually very intimidated about public restrooms because there's not much privacy. Broken or poorly designed stalls that anyone can see through and of course the very loud sounds of plastic / tapes which I'm sure everyone in there knows what's happening, plus changing in a small area standing up. There's been many times I decline doing it and wait until I get home. Do any of you have experiences to share or tips on how you deal with this and stay calm?
 
Hi Thomas. After a couple years of this curse, I just doo it. I don’t care if people can see through the cracks or hear the wrapper. It’s none of their business, and truly, no one is looking or listening. How many times did you see or hear anyone before you did it? My advice: enjoy life the best you can and to hell with anyone who judges you. They just are not worth worrying about. Get out there and do the things you can, brother. The people who count and love you will always have your back.
 
I switched to a diaper that wasn't plastic backed. Incontrol night time. Go out to the car get you bag,with your changing supplies go into stall and change.i usually have a messy diaper,no big deal,just deal with it.i have found nobody cares.
 
I agree with Tommyboy! For those times when I’m sure I’ll need a change, I always carry a storage bag, a backup diaper and a small pair of scissors. Scissors are used to cut the sides so it’s easy to get them off while sitting. The bag helps with your trash. If you make noise, so what. Honestly, pretty sure nobody really cares.
 
This is something I have worried about too since I started having daytime accidents. Being in public or at the gym I’m just always worried someone will find out or see the pullup. Some grocery stores have family bathrooms I using try and change in those.
 
I used to be concerned removing tapes, I certainly know how you feel. Fortunately I only have urinary incontinence. I use 50% plastic backed 50% cloth backed. When I’m thinking about it I wear cloth backed knowing I’ll have to change at some point. I will find a lockable stall and change standing up leaning on one side of the stall. I no longer care if it’s a plastic backed and the tapes are noisy. I carry plastic grocery bags in my “diaper” bag and will wrap in one of those and throw away in the rest room trash. I used to worry about leaving stall and throwing it away but no longer care about that as well. Many times I’ve seen other guys, especially in a busy restroom see me disposing of the diaper. Weather they know what it is, or not, really means nothing to me. They don’t know me and have found over the years strangers aren’t very interested, at all, with what I’m doing. We tend to self impose our feelings about it and by in large there isn’t anything to it.
 
@thomas - Hi Thomas. Although I am a female, I do agree with all the gentleman who have chimed in telling you not to worry about what anyone else thinks in the men's room making changing noises. Most people know someone who deals with IC and diapers. And even if they don't, I agree nobody really cares anyway.I don't know how old you are, but I imagine a young boy or teenager would naturally be more self conscious about this. I think that girls are educated about personal issues weather they like it or not from watching Mom and sisters deal with Kotex and Tampons. The only thing I can equate your uneasiness with is trying to covertly get a much needed tampon from my girlfriend behind me in history class without any of the guys or my teacher seeing. - Pam
 
It does take a while to truly grasp that no one cares what you are doing in the bathroom.

I have gotten used to dealing with it but follow a few rules to help myself not have anxiety about changing while I am out.

First, I always make a plan of where I am going.
* Walmart and Target near me have family bathrooms
** Sheets, Pilot, T.A. Love's Flying J, Buc-ees, and Wawas all are super clean and most have full wall bathrooms.
*** Some state roadside rests have Family bathrooms.
**** There are apps like GasBuddy that are for gas prices but now have bathroom scorecards.


Over time you will learn tricks. I use gloves and have adult-sized wipes, 8-gallon bags, and stuff with me at all times.

I time my meds so there is less of a chance of bowel accidents while out. Sometimes I do not eat while out or only eat things that I know will not make me have a BM.

I don't drink a lot while out.

I know enough about what my diaper can hold up to and change as soon as I feel like I need to.

Sometimes you just have to pull a Robin Williams move and say IDGARA (I don't give a rats azz) I am going to live my life.
 
@snow @ThatFLGuy - So true on both points. Being prepared will help lower anxiety and yes, don't concern yourself with anyone else. Most people wouldn't care even if they did notice. They just want to get in and out anyway. - Pam
 
Thank you all for such good and kind advice. I think that nobody really cares for the most part, but sometimes there are moments when a lot of people are in the restroom and it's quiet while I'm making a diaper changing ruckus or people are waiting at the stall for me to leave and that makes me feel soooo awkward. Sometimes I wait for the hand dryer to come on to do the tapes, lol.

Also, good point on taking a bag with cuz walking out with my diaper in hand through the restroom has been a harsh feeling sometimes. Having a private bathroom option would be the best, but so many places don't and a lot have broken stall doors and so I have to just use them. I've see some restrooms have NO doors and I almost died. I'm sure the more I do it the more I'll get used to it and it'll be no big deal. Already feeling more confident.
 
Hi Thomas,there are some great tips from what I've ready in people's replies here, love the scissors trick!. In the UK we have disabled toilets which are normally floor to ceiling walls and you can change in there easily. Another tip I have learned is if you wear plastic pants, choose side snap ones which can save you taking your shoes and trousers off. And standing against the wall with your bottom pinning a pad to the wall behind you, makes it easy to get a good fit stood up rather than laid on a bed. Back packs and spare plastic bags are great for storing any wet or soiled clothes plus pack some spare clothes if it is a major accident.
 
Here is what works for me:

When leaving the house, I usually wear a pull-up with PUL pants over them. When it is time to change, I pull down my pants and PUL pants to my knees. Still standing up, I unfold my new diaper on top of my pulled-down PUL pants. This has my open diaper resting on my PUL pants ready to catch any dribbles. Next, I rip open my pull-ups and take them off. After wiping and/or re-applying barrier or rash cream, I pull up my diaper and close its tabs. Finally, I pull up my PUL pants and pants.

This approach has several advantages. One, it works regardless of whether I am wearing pull-ups or tabbed diapers. Two, I don't need to take off my pants or shoes.

A few considerations: sometimes I find that my diaper has leaked, but only once I pull down my PUL pants. In that case, I dry my PUL pants with toilet paper and if I have, with wipes. If the leak is so big that my PUL pants cannot contain it, I have to find a place to change my pants, anyway.

What helps is to have a diaper bag that I can hang from the wall of the bathroom stall. I have one that opens toward me when it hangs from the wall or from a hook giving me easy access to diapers, creams, wipes, etc. without having to hold up a bag. The same bag also has my catheters and supplies.

I always have a roll of opaque plastic bags with me that I put my used diaper in when I don't want anyone to see what I am carrying from the bathroom stall to the bathroom's trash bin.

Some might worry about the noise or the possibility of prying eyes looking through the cracks of whimsical stalls. I don't, simply have moved past worrying about people knowing.

Voila, that's what works for me.
 
@thomas

They are great. I put my 30+lb camera bag on a medium clip when it was raining once. the Lg clip holds 100lb.
 
@thomas,

Different locations have lead to different choices. Here’s how I view it:

1) Work, professional settings

More frequent changes at the work place if you are in a closed space around others. I locate restrooms that are less crowded and time things to avoid lunch crowds. Never enter a group meeting with a wet diaper/product. Second - Not always possible but, I manage fluid intake to reduce incidences.

I may start with a pull-on but always use cloth-backed diapers to change into.

2) Around my town, social concerns

Running into people whom you know professionally or personally is tough however, finding single person bathrooms are easy.

Kind of know where all the good ones are.

3) Away

Again see 2. Multi-stall restrooms as a last resort. If I don’t have a choice then look for an end stall away from the urinal. Self explanatory.

Airports, stores, events, etc. people are not paying attention to what you are doing. If they do see that you are changing…most people are decent. Others are immature little sh1ts.

Got to say rests stops are the exception, just gross. I can change in the car.

Lastly, a bag w essentials ready to use helps to keep eyes off of what you have.

I have overtime become good at changing whilst leaning against a wall! Practice at home.
 
My two preferred options is changing in my car (use a sun protector for your windshield so no one can see in), or I use a booster pad that I can quickly remove and still have a relatively dry brief. I can tell you that the fear of someone noticing I need to change is worse then worrying if someone can tell I'm changing in a public restroom.
With time you get very fast at changing and wont even think twice about it.
 
You get use to it,you have too, me I am back to working as a Gardener, need to earn a living, have stress incontinence, like many here after RP.
Now six weeks after op, dry at night relatively quickly, and sitting but working the tap opens more, get through 2 pads a day .

Otherwise my jeans get wet, now, just find a quiet spot when out.
No public toilets about .
I am self employed, whip out the wet pad, and place a new one in, work down in the New Forest, so plenty of quite spots to change, it's just something you have to do, I,m sure if I should ever be accused of "flashing", after explaining my predicament I will be fine .

Anyway, I always try to be totally discreet, don't have much choice really, it's either change, or walk around like you have wet yourself .
RP brings a new meaning to the word being "Pissed?".

You can Over think all this, and that only leads to a downward spiral of depression .
I just try to get on with my life, as best I can, dealing with the cards I have been dealt.
 
I'm quadriplegic. And in a wheelchair. I need My husband or caregiver to change Me. So unless there's a family / disability restroom. Its really difficult to change Me in the wheelchair. It reclines enough that it can be done in a emergency. But for the most part I just wear premium overnight briefs with a booster or double the brief. I wear loose fitting clothes or a dress so no one notices. I can usually get out for 3-5 hours without being changed. If I do. Just quickly remove the booster pad and the brief will work good enough until I get home. I don't get out a lot. We went to the flea market this morning. Beautiful day.
 
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