Why
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I had one lady give me grief (my shirt got stuck in the wait band) at a grocery store once. She said “aren’t you a little too old for diapers”. I said to her “if you broke your leg, would you use a crutch?” She said yes and I told her “this is my crutch and none of you f***ing business”. She apologized to me and went about her shopping.
It all goes back to potty training. We are told things like “don’t you want to be a big boy/girl?” and that launches it all.
It all goes back to potty training. We are told things like “don’t you want to be a big boy/girl?” and that launches it all.
Archives1
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The expectation is that the very young, and the elderly, can't control it. Everyone in between would only use a diaper because they're disabled, lazy, or have a fetish.
People forget that not all disability is obvious or visible, and even "normal" bladder/bowel control isn't uniform across all people. It's also a cultural side effect of tactics used in potty training. "Diapers are for babies. Big boys/girls use the potty". Then shame and guilt to sure up the gap. It's a terrible tactic to begin with, but then some people can't compartmentalize, and apply the same twisted logic to adults.
People forget that not all disability is obvious or visible, and even "normal" bladder/bowel control isn't uniform across all people. It's also a cultural side effect of tactics used in potty training. "Diapers are for babies. Big boys/girls use the potty". Then shame and guilt to sure up the gap. It's a terrible tactic to begin with, but then some people can't compartmentalize, and apply the same twisted logic to adults.
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What MayMay said 
Poor lady, feel sad for people who are ignorant of someone else’s situation and then want to vocalize their opinion chastising is because they don’t have a clue. Anyway, have a good day guys. My honey is having minor hand surgery so I got the day off today. Enjoy!
Jim
Poor lady, feel sad for people who are ignorant of someone else’s situation and then want to vocalize their opinion chastising is because they don’t have a clue. Anyway, have a good day guys. My honey is having minor hand surgery so I got the day off today. Enjoy!Jim
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i ended up going to a 4rth of july party, and several of us went for a ride in a side by side 5 passenger. The driver drove it rather fast across a pasture and when we got back one of the ladies hallored out “i gotta go change my depends!” The other ladies laughed. She went inside the house so maybe she was telling the truth. I figured she was just joking around. I wasnt offended or anything but I do hear a lot of comments/jokes about depends. But yeah If someone said something to me like that lady did to Spaz I might not care much for it.
Archives1
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Did anyone ever consider that she may have been trying to start a conversation? We are always so defensive.
Often if we take a minute and show some kindness, bad situations may turn into pleasant conversations and perhaps a new friendship. A great line is to say " you are lucky you don't need them". I find foul language offensive and a sure way to aggravate any one. I hope you didn't really use the F word on a total stranger and hope for a positive out come.
Often if we take a minute and show some kindness, bad situations may turn into pleasant conversations and perhaps a new friendship. A great line is to say " you are lucky you don't need them". I find foul language offensive and a sure way to aggravate any one. I hope you didn't really use the F word on a total stranger and hope for a positive out come.
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Bobby103 said:
Her facial expressions and tone of voice made it very clear that she was not trying to be friendly. I certainly did use profanity and I don’t care that you find it offensive. The outcome was absolutely positive; she walked away and also had a different angle to view things. Life is far too short to constantly worry about what someone else thinks or what their opinions are.
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Thank you, Spaz, for your reply to Bobby103. From what you originally wrote, I had no sense that the woman was trying to be kind to you. I thought she was unkind to comment on your appearance in the way she did. Perhaps if she had told you that you might want to know about your shirt, that could have been a kindness. Like telling someone their fly is open in a kind way so they know to close it and not walk around with it open.
Archives1
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I am a firm believer in "you need to be there to full understand a situation" as you have explained. I use bad language when needed but also don't like to hear it, as is so common without any call for it. That is what is offensive to me. Maybe that is why we have some of the problems we have, because no one cares what people think anymore. Reading Spaz's post again perhaps I should have understood she wasn't nice.
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Bobby103 said:
I switched majors from psychology to astronomy/astrophysics. I don’t jump to conclusions without knowing as many facts as I possibly can. However, I am a very quick thinker and also very quick to assess a situation. It’s not about caring or not caring what other people think. The problem is a lack of compassion and/or empathy.
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