Well it finally happened. The talk with someone

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I knew this day would eventually come, was just hoping it wouldn't, or at least in a completely different situation. And let me tell you, wanted to be anywhere else. Was forced to have the diaper talk with a friend of mine today. Had a pretty bad accident while I was with them and my diaper leaked. Didn't even realize I had to go and only realized I was going when I felt that I was wet. Tried to stop it while panicking which made everything worse. We were sitting down so I told them I'll be right back I just needed to run back into the store and ask if I could use the bathroom. I stood up and without any warning or ability to stop things, I completely flooded, and if that wasn't bad enough the sound was quite noticable as well. My face didn't hide my embarrassment at all either. I was absolutely frozen and couldn't move until it was over. All I could do was look away. Luckily there wasn't anything else around, bit I knew I had to explain myself. Told them what is going on with me and all this nonsense, and that I have to wear for this exact reason, and answered some of their questions. After we talked for over an hour I was very ready to just get home, so we got up from where we were sitting and started walking to where we parked the last of my bladder gave out which I already thought I was empty, and that's when the dreaded leak happened. I felt it and they saw it. That's when I broke down into tears. They were so sweet and just gave me a hug. They seemed really understanding and will keep it to themselves, and that it won't change anything about our friendship so that's good but we shall see if that's true.

 

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What an honestly embarrassing but real moment.
I dont think anyone who hasn't experienced incontinence can grasp what it means to feel so betrayed by ones body.
The closest thing I can think of is unexpected onset of menstruating wearing a white skirt which is not a common experience even among women.
The irony, if you will, is that no matter how fine a body someone else has it too will at some point experience a complete disfunction of it in some way and perhaps they belatedly realize what you went through. Or they currently understand on on a deep level how hard this was for you, that can be real too.
Not able to speak to tbe quality of your friendship, just musing on life, if you live long enough stuff happens to this mortal flesh.
Hold your head up. We're only human and you're doing the best you can.

 

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I remember having a conversation with a good friend of mine about my same situation. It take a lot out of someone to tell another person in their life about the embarrassing problem we have to deal with. It took me months to come to terms with myself to actually say something to a good friend. We are still really good friends still to this day. I get a lot of support which means a lot to me. So, when I say that, and you said your friend took the time to give you a hug, it tells that your friend understands and is willing to support you every step of the way. That is huge. There are still a lot of us out here struggling to open up to people. Take a few deep breathes and relax. Take it one step at a time. That is awesome that you shared your story with others here. The more we chat with each other, the more confidence we build. Keep your head held high. We are all in it together. Life is to short to worry about the small stuff.

 

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I assume this has happened to almost all of us at one time or another. Life is short, if anyone doesn't accept their lost. No worries-at least you still get out. Blessings-Stay Well.

 

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Hi @Zora, it sounds like you have a really special friend here and as we get older our outlooks mature along with us so we realize that we are human and that things happen to us. It's a mark of maturity and sincerity that others are accepting us no matter what! As bad as it was for you, it was a growing experience and also one for your friend as well. After all, we're the same people we've always been and that doesn't change!!! I hope you don't feel discouraged by what happened.

 

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Zora, I am so sorry that this happened the way it did, but if you try in the days to come to 1) Do Not 2nd guess or beat yourself up stuff happens, you did nothing wrong! 2) it may sound odd, but for some of us who have dealt with this for a while may understand this a little better, but your friend got a real-time up close example of the fight you bravely put up every day just to try to live your normal life, and how it suddenly happened to both of you. I’m quite sure, if she knows you well enough she witnessed the range of emotions it causes you simply watching your face as she witnessed the surprise attack from you bladder at the same time you did. Your situation became very real to your friend today in a way that words often fail us, just as mine are failing me right now! If she has any thoughts about it tonight, it’s probably along the lines of: What a great friend I have in Zora, facing what she does she risked embarrassment just to spend some time with me, she must be incredibly strong as “I had no idea!”
Again, my words don’t do your situation justice, just know many of us have been there and you didn’t ruin her couch or car seat, or anything else for that matter and THEN have to try to explain. I think the hug says it best! I hope you have a great day tomorrow!

 

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Zora, you have true friends. Thank them and cherish them.

I recently had a similar situation. I was sitting in my Lazy Boy and felt the urge to go. I got up and suddenly starting peeing. It leaked to one side of my pad straight onto the living room floor as I tried to get to the bathroom. All of this while my daughter, 17-year-old granddaughter, and 15-year-old grandson watched. They were aware of my recent surgery to "fix" this, nevertheless, it was very embarrassing. When I came back into the room, I apologized for what they had just seen. They were very understanding.

Again, anyone who shows you empathy is to be cherished. All others need a better understanding of how horrendous it is to be incapable of controlling your physical ailment.

Best wishes to you and all who suffer as we do.