Well dang..

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Already not looking forward to tomorrow as I may have to be back to work with everything going on.
Also have a GP appointment a 2pm which will cut into my pre-work sleep time unless I go to bed early.
In the past 24 hours things went from bad to what that heck. Like I am taking my miralax and still not crapping. I get a cramp and then Piss myself so I am using up my abena pads that I have laying around.
Big issue it that I do not know how I am going to make it 12 hours at work without taking a bunch of stuff with me. I have a locker but it is small.
As stated before bags going onto the floor get checked so anything not in my carry bag will be checked.

and that all depends on two things.
Is my GP going to be okay with me going back to work?
Is my area manager going to be okay with me not being over there anymore?
If all that does not work out then I will have to file under my INS for short term disability.


That would suck but I would have an income for a bit.

I am just at a bad place right now where I don't want to be crapping and pissing myself at work but I may not have a choice but to do the best that I can so that I can afford to live.

After everything that I have been through in the last 18 months I am not really happy about all this.. So Ye stress level 10 and I am at this rate I will be out of good pad by the begining of the month when I can order more stuff...


Life sucked already, I am in pain all the time and now this... Just freaking great. And I am not even 36 years old yet...

 

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Ok, you talked it out and now you have a plan for whatever comes up. Break each thing down into parts, as you have, then have a plan A and B for each.
Sorry you are having the pain and problems. Find simple things to enjoy and give you comfort. I find sunrises and sunsets, gentle rains and nature in genersl something that pleases a rich man as well as a poor. Make nature your friend

 

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Making nature your friend makes a whole lot of sense and is really therapeutic. A lot of doctors and other medical people do recommend getting out in nature. Just take a nice walk in a quiet place like a woods or a wetland area or a nature preserve or park, you know someplace with not a lot of people. Focus on what you see, maybe a sunrise or watching an animal or bird or something. Maybe take up birdwatching. Just take time to enjoy the outdoors and most importantly it is the time you make for you, and you alone! That way you won't be focusing completely on yourself. Also just take it one day at a time. I know it's an old cliché but if you do that it may help you get a grip on things. Do the best you can today and think about tomorrow only when it comes. And yes, always do have a "Plan B." I hope our suggestions help you find some inner peace and a relief from pain and worry.

 

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Making nature your friend makes a whole lot of sense and is really therapeutic. A lot of doctors and other medical people do recommend getting out in nature. Just take a nice walk in a quiet place like a woods or a wetland area or a nature preserve or park, you know someplace with not a lot of people. Focus on what you see, maybe a sunrise or watching an animal or bird or something. Maybe take up birdwatching. Just take time to enjoy the outdoors and most importantly it is the time you make for you, and you alone! That way you won't be focusing completely on yourself. Also just take it one day at a time. I know it's an old cliché but if you do that it may help you get a grip on things. Do the best you can today and think about tomorrow only when it comes. And yes, always do have a "Plan B." I hope our suggestions help you find some inner peace and a relief from pain and worry.

Funny that you say that Bill. I am actually Photographer and have been for almost half of my life. It is just hard right now with Covid to do the type of Photography that I was starting to make money with in Florida before I got sick.... The photo attachened is one of mine, Edited with lightroom taken at the Jacksonville zoo before I moved to PA.

 

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That’s one beautiful Cardinal! It’s funny that you mention exactly this, while recovering from numerous surgeries on my spine that’s exactly what I did. I bought about 6 books on regional birds and Even when I couldn’t walk well I’d chill out in my screened in porch with my old Minolta SLR, DSLR and this Christmas my Wife got me a new Nikon D7500 with a few lenses! I double down on the advice to stay busy as you can. Don’t allow this to get in your head, you’re far from alone!

 

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Tough situation but we are here to listen or offer advise. Know that you are not in this alone.

 

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This is a hard problem for all of us. It makes no sense that the medical field has done so little for us. We need to get this out in the open. How can we be ashamed it's not our fault. We are in your corner and here to talk.

 

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Well saw the doctor today and it is just more of the same. Biopsies came back negivitve which is a blessing but now all I got is more meds to try. And Hope that I can work tonight because I am broke.

 

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Hi that FL guy, that is a really nice cardinal you found the at the Jax zoo. Florida is filled with them and it's always fun to see that flash of bright red flitting through the woods. Since you have a knack for photography that would be a great thing to take up again. Especially at a time like this seeing nice pictures is always uplifting, at least to me it is. And stepping out with your camera when you have a free moment may yield some wonderful surprises which you can capture on film and you will always have it. If you haven't done photography in awhile there's always a good reason to take it up again, sort of like riding a bike - you never forget how. If your schedule permits maybe you can find a way to do freelance photography and at least make a little money at it! It's a skill so please use it! (provided you still have the equipment, of course!) I'm glad your tests are negative and I hope your new meds work out and finally give you some relief.

 

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I agree. We all need escape ftom life, we all have an anchor around our necks from time to time. Until the docs can do something positive for you, go ahead and do something positive yoursrlf. Great cardinal photo and expand from there. Nature gives plenty of opps. Your condition doesnt affect you 24/7 but Im sure it weighs on your mind that much. These periods of distraction will re-energize you and give an escape and add meaning. It's win,win,win

 

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There you go! Finding that perfect shot is a great escape in itself and it's worth dusting off that ol' camera!