very big sore

[Archives1]

@Maymay941 I like your description of me, that pretty much sums me up! Another applicable saying I like is, “The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.”

Just this week I was at the foot doctor with new X-rays, and my broken bones are healed at last! Long four months. I still have some strengthening exercises to do for both my foot and my ankle, but mostly it’s healed, yayyyyyyyyyy! Starting that new job five days after that surgery was an Everest feat.

@Boomersway Ok, I will try to dry things out by spreading, too, maybe even with sunshine which can be sterilizing. Yeast likes the dark, not the light.

Thank you for the tip.

@Boomersway I have several doctors rooting for me to file for disability, but who can live on $800/month? A small studio apartment here costs $800/month. We have a housing emergency here, major bubble. Can’t get a two-bedroom apartment for less than $2,300 in this podunk town.

 

[Archives1]

Snow. It is a housing crisis everywhere. Just look at the number of homeless people even in small villages. If you were on disability you probably also would qualify for food stamps and utility bill help. There are ways to work it out, even if it's temporary and you could resume work after all the healing. I don't know your total situation with work, if you could work from home?

in 1968 I was in a mental health support group at a clinic and the best thing that I learned from that two month experience is that there are always alternatives. You just have to not give up and keep thinking outside the box.

 

[Archives1]

@ritanofsinger Thank you for your advice and vote of confidence. Fortunately I do get to work from home, for now! You are correct that our nation has a severe housing crisis.

All of my lumbar discs no longer exist. Found out three weeks ago that three of my cervical and one of my thoracic are herniated now. I need spacers inserted in my neck; great, just another surgery. I have Early Onset, Rapidly Degenerative Osteoarthritis and Early Onset, Rapidly Degenerative Disk Disease. It’s all over my body and it will never improve. My back and knees are totally demolished. I’ve already had to get corticosteroid injections in my feet and shoulders.

It’s all downhill from now. My troubles aren’t temporary, unfortunately. That fills me with self-loathing and makes me want to hide. None of my friends had even one of my conditions.

I’ve had several huge concussions, one of which put me in a coma for three days. I have ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety, and chronic insomnia. I was born with PolyCystic Ovarian Disease, so I’ve always had problems in my reproductive zone - and now after the hysterectomy, I’m prone to osteoporosis, despite hormone replacement therapy. I’ve had two kinds of cancer, so there is a 100% chance I’ll get another kind of cancer (once you’ve had one kind, your risk for another kind increases by 50%; having had two, I’m at 100% risk of having another). And let’s not forget incontinence!!!

So you see, if I go on disability, it will probably be forever. I think it’s probably coming up. I like working - though not at my disrespectful current job - so I’m trying to keep going while I can.

I am scared of what’s ahead, that’s for sure. Not much looking forward to anything any more. That’s one of the many reasons I don’t buy guns. I do have the right pills that would do the trick.

But damn, that survival instinct mechanism is so strong! People continue on, living in misery.

At least today it’s sunny, a little warmer, more daylight, and cheery birds. My cat is happy. I hope you find some natural cheer today as well. Hugs!!!!!!

 

[Archives1]

I am certainly glad the survival mechanism is kicking in.

This is a tough part of the year, now compounded by health issues. Yet, for what its worth, this shall pass.

When I was quitting smoking some 8 years ago I read that the urges to smoke were only 2 minutes or so. It was helpful in that knowing if I could just get past the 2 min mark there would be some relief.

What you are going through now, as difficult as it is, will pass and you will realize some relief.

In all of this just remember you are a precious person of great worth.

 

[Archives1]

Snow. It is hard for me to walk in your shoes for sure. I've been very fortunate from birth on, even with a lot of health problems and financial instability. I can't even imagine the "discomfort" and pain you've had and are experiencing now. I understand your feeling about the company you work for. I picked up in one of your posts that although they want the employees to be honest with them they are mostly thinking about their financial benefits and not your well-being necessarily. It's heartbreaking really how many business owners regard their employees as objects to provide the owners with a living and not people with the same human needs.

You're right, people do continue on, living in misery, just look at what the other people on this forum go through. I'm sitting here with an ice bag on my knee (I'm pretty sure I have a torn meniscus from several months ago) and trying not to catch the surgery stitches on my hand on my shirt cuff. I'm not miserable, but trying to cope with the growing problems of aging. You are coping too.

As for guns, I haven't bought any gun because it would be my luck to have it locked up when I needed it. I had a pistol when I was 20 and did a lot of target shooting, the rest of the time it hung in a holster on my bedpost. When I was 26 I was a champion archery tournament shooter in Tioga County, NY, but never a hunter.

I certainly can't tell you what to do because I haven't had your life. The only thing I can say is Please keep going, keep looking up and hoping for the best. That's what each of us has to do. I think of you often and am keeping you in my heart always.

I have found some cheer today. My oldest son (who assaulted my husband and I in 2014 and is now 60 years old) and I, have made some steps to reconciliation and we had a nice phone conversation this afternoon.

 

[Archives1]

You. You are a hanger in therer.
And there's always that cat. Or the one after that.

 

[Archives1]

@chaps54 Why, thank you!

@ritanofsinger Congratulations on being able to reconcile with your son, how wonderful! Thank you for your kind words and support. It is easier to stay alive with friends

 

[Archives1]

@Maymay941 Oh, how I love my beasty!

 

[Archives1]

 

[Archives1]

And loving some one,loving someone is enough.

 

[Archives1]

Your beastie has a beautiful face!

 

[Archives1]

Awh shucks, thanks ladies! I shall pass your compliments on to his royal self

 

[Archives1]

Hi @ritanofsinger, This was a great afternoon for you with you reconciling with your son. And it does start with a nice conversation and that should lead to even more of those and then onto even better things. And having had that talk with your son I hope you really can sleep well tonight and know that things are going to be OK.
And @snow, I hope the big sore is getting better and do know everyone here is thinking of you and we all want the best for you! Do keep looking for the bright side of things and always hope for the best. AS you say the survival instinct is very strong and you will prevail! Having your beasty at your side will help keep things together for you!

 

[Archives1]

Snow - I just finished reading "The Reivers: A reminiscence" by William Faulkner. I've had the book for a long time, it was published in 1962. It's quite a yarn but there was one part toward the end of the book that made me think of you and I quote here:
"Now go to sleep," he said. Because even before he said it, I knew that that was exactly what I wanted, what I had been wanting probably ever since yesterday: to go home. I mean, nobody likes to be licked, but maybe there are times when nobody can help being; that all you can do about it is not quit..."

 

[Archives1]

A small funny story:
I put my pull up on in the dark last night and somehow managed to turn them INSIDE OUT.
All night I was splashing and thrashing cursing why am I so damn WET!
Too sleepy to get up and change.
Wet bed pads and dry inside out pull up this morning.

 

[Archives1]

Haha

 

[Archives1]

@Maymay941 I chuckle, yes I have been there, as I have trouble settling down, so thank you for a chuckle!

 

[Archives1]

@snow this "cat" own's you Snow!!!

 

[Archives1]

Hi @Maymay941, been there, done that!! Embarrassing as hell! But we do get over it!!! And we just keep on truckin'!

 

[Archives1]

I find it ahilarious first in my life experience treasure chest Billie!
How the Dickens did it totally turn them inside out then extract both legs from one leg opening and not notice the Plastic inside and soft padding was OUTSIDE.
OR did I just see answer my own question.